Reviews for Innocent
silver-nightstorm chapter 1 . 1/30/2013
The ending of this was so haunting! Well done! :)
whirlwinds of watercolours chapter 1 . 1/30/2013
This was just all kinds of amazing.

I like her reasoning for slipping away from the battle and her reaction when the man confronted her - oh my God, it was just brilliant. When the Thestral came up to her and licked the bloody away, when she told herself it didn't judge her... just ugh. Fantastic.

Excellent work!
slightlysmall chapter 1 . 1/28/2013
You lost me for a moment here: "People made a certain type of nose" - the missing "i" makes a huge difference, and my laughing sort of interrupted the flow.

But wow. I really liked this. Interesting that Luna learned a curse that would kill from the DA, but I think it's fitting, and wonderful, and really the situation you present here is amazing. Great work!
The Original Horcrux chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
Oh my gosh. Gamma this is amazing. The way you wrote it; everything seemed so real, right down from Bellatrix and Lucius' fight to Luna blowing that man to bits because they were in the middle of a war and she was expecting him to curse her back and wow. This was so amazing I love it. And the last two lines, oh my god I can't even express my feelings for them. I love how the thestral comes and licks up the blood and how she feels as though it's her closest friend and it doesn't judge her and how Luna goes from being innocent to a murderer with one word. Brilliant, brilliant job!

Keep up the amazing work and DFTBA!
The Crownless Queen chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
This was absolutely beautiful and I think you really captured Luna's personality well in this. The first image of the burning castle was just fantastic and I liked to see what Luna thought of everything that was happening.
Good work :)
burning happiness chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
I loved how you began with this innocent Luna, so much like the Luna we know and love, but in the end, realizing that no matter what she did in this war, she knew that she'd always have her quirky Thestral friends that would not judge her, that it did not matter anymore if everyone called her a murdered because of what she overheard about harry, because she already was one. Sad, tragic, but beautiful.
-littlemissreadaholic
ProfessorSquirrell chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
This is so dark and creepy and fucked up. OMG. I really like this though. I feel so horribly for Luna and I love that you play on the things she experienced at the Manor. Hearing Bella and Lucius arguing and knowing what to expect was wonderful. I also loved the Thestral at the end! OMG. Nicely done :)
Fire The Canon chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
I think you had Luna wonderfully in character (which is good, because she's really difficult to get in character). This was tragic, but really good. I loved it. Well done!
autumn midnights chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
This is a really interesting look at Luna during the Battle of Hogwarts. I always find dark stories with Luna to be extremely intriguing, and I think this was definitely a really good one. I really like the way you wrote Luna - her worry about telling Harry to save himself versus keeping silent and therefore letting him die was extremely well-done, and I could really see her being worried about that. I like the conversation between Lucius and Bella, also, it seems extremely realistic to me, like something that the two of them actually would say. This was really good, I think you did an excellent job with it.
Catatonic Muse chapter 1 . 1/20/2013
I like the idea of Luna as some sort of ephemeral, ghostly creature! Your description of her conveyed that very clearly. I love how she changed from innocent to dark. I know it's just a hint of darkness, but when I was reading, I swear I could feel the darkness curling around her, enveloping her...and then that creepy smile! Ah! SO GREAT!
Forever Siriusly Sirius chapter 1 . 1/17/2013
Oooh interesting take on Luna! I like that she feels guilty for leaving the battle, however much she tries to convince herself that leaving the castle was more effective than being in it. I loved the lucy/bella fight, and how bella beat lucy :P I like the introduction of the threastral as Luna fried the dude, and how this murder eased her guilt for not fighting.
Nice! (this wasnt scarring at all, not really. Well the vivid description of the burnt body and the way Luna tried to piece it together may have been a little bit but not too bad.)
Couture Girl chapter 1 . 1/15/2013
Gamma, this is so unbelievably dark but beautiful and scary. It made me shiver. Really, I have goose bumps! But I feel so sad for Luna, she's lost her innocence. And in the end it was eerily terrifying that smile, made me question her sanity and well I never do that with Luna and you made me do it. I liked how you started it, the first sentence I knew something was going down, that something big was going to happen. And reading that she thought the castle was beautiful when it was burning well that does catch the reader's eyes. Then to Bellatrix and Lucius-the way you wrote his tone, how Luna knew what as going to happen-a fight, that was excellent as well. Then the description to when she made that man explode, you didn't put who it was and that's awesome because we're left in doubt if it was good or bad but he's dead and how Luna is trying to put his pieces back together, *shivers* also my favorite part, it was so raw but so refreshing. I don't see that much in stories, they seems to shy away from descriptions like that. The only correction, it's small: a space between: /Dark Lord's hands – dieat his hands."/ space at the die and at :) But otherwise excellent! I fear my piece is horrid :) But yours truly deserves to win!

Much love!

C.G.
Ralinde chapter 1 . 1/5/2013
Oh dear God. At first I was wondering why the heck Luna would run, not fight, but you've managed to weave it in with canon nicely. I never thought of the effect Confringo must have on humans... That was really horror-like.
Well written.
ctc chapter 1 . 12/1/2012
hmmmm