|Reviews for Comfort|
| Renniseht Entreri chapter 1 . 8/20
Very, very well done! The dialogue in the story felt very organic and natural, it was a pleasure to read :)
| justwildbeat-rhythmemotion chapter 1 . 7/8
Thank you so much for writing it.
| curio cherry chapter 1 . 6/6/2013
I love this!
| Kelkatan chapter 1 . 5/14/2013
Love the emotions, wow! Very well done!
| Aeris-Eithne chapter 1 . 4/25/2013
This is so sweet and beautiful. I especially love the early parts - it's so well-written and I really empathized with Relena's pain and inability to communicate. Heero would shadow her like that, I think. And when things got awkward between them, even after they'd made love, I found that completely realistic, too. There's something about trying to make them intimate as characters that almost feels shameful, in a way; like it's something that would deeply affect the both of them, more so than other people. Like picking at scars. I think you've dealt with both of their fragile emotions very believably. However, in the end, Heero becomes a bit more of a romantic "hero" than I can picture him; he says some very lovely things to Relena, though, and that made me giddy so I'll buy it. :) I'll have to check out more of your work!
| Scarlet Eve chapter 1 . 3/5/2013
This was awesome. Super sweet!
| Star Mk chapter 1 . 1/12/2013
Beautiful, Is all i can say! :)
You're an amazing and a well gifted author and i've always loved your stories bt i'm really disappointed you stopped updating one of my most favorite stories 'healing rains' and i hope you get to finish it as soon as possible, Can't Wait! :D
| zmajgoddess chapter 1 . 12/11/2012
Great story. Very sweet.
| DragonLadyRelena chapter 1 . 12/5/2012
Wow. Just wow. I'm going to take a few moments here to come to grips with what I've just read. That was powerful, truly powerful. Very well done, indeed.
Great work and happy future writing. See ya!
| dootadoot chapter 1 . 12/5/2012
You came back! *SQUEAL* I was afraid that you may have dropped off the edge of the earth and then I would never get to read your finished works. This was a beautiful piece. Bravo.
| J.M.C chapter 1 . 12/2/2012
If this is a one-shot then how come it doesn't say complete?
| Fer82 chapter 1 . 12/4/2012
Damn I return for travelling and i found this piece. Glad that you are still with us Bear and i hope that you soon can return fulltime. Now i like the way that Relena was depicted in the fic the right amount of grief, confusion and fear all in the mix, with Heero still stoic without be an Iceberg.
To Katie Yuy and KayBeth. Im sorry about your looses and please please accept my respects no matter how out date those may be.
| Dianarybb chapter 1 . 12/2/2012
This story is so beautiful! Thanks :)
| ForgottenStorm87 chapter 1 . 12/4/2012
Yet another story that was very well done! good job girl!
| Purdy chapter 1 . 12/4/2012
bbybear85, I have to say that I'm so over the moon impressed with this piece. I know I left a rather scathing review for your ongoing fic, "Conflict of Interest," so I am all the more please to write a rave review for this one. If you want me to be entirely honest, I thought the caliber of your writing in this was outstanding. Everything was executed beautifully. Heero, Relena, the themes involved. Nothing was over the top or cheesy. I think the prose was really elegantly written and appropriately subtle. Seriously, I think its your best work yet.
I loved the way you handled Relena's grief. She came off extremely sympathetic and very relatable. I found you gave her the right amount of vulnerability while still maintaining her dignity and strength. Too many times people would write Relena into a sobbing, co-dependent wreck whenever she's in a state of grief and I would always find those depictions completely unreadable. You're one of the few that has done her justice. And Heero! Omg! How I love, love, love him in this piece. You made ever word of dialogue, ever action of his count. Honestly...I don't think I've ever read a confession scene from any other fic that was so suited to this couple (I'm not exagerrating). You've hit a bullseye, you really have! I can't stop rereading the last part where he's telling her that he loves her, how he will pretend their lovemaking never happened if that will appease her, but he will not leave her as long as she was in grief... I was completely enraptured by this scene and could not stop thinking how the words you wrote for him suited him perfectly. He came off as relentless, but giving, non-controlling, loving, and so undeniably but subtly sexy .. I feel like I'm crushing on him all over again. lol
I'm having a hard pressed time finding anything really critical to say about this fic, Bbybear85. If I really have to nitpick, things like Relena not noticing was with her the entire week, even on the day of the funeral, was a bit silly I think-I mean what, she just never noticed his face?o.O I also found the last bit at the end where Relena asks him to take her to bed was too playful of a tone as compared to the rest of the fic. You were probably aiming for that but personally, I found it juxtaposed too harshly. Even with it being beta read, there are still some obvious grammar mistakes so I'd skimmed through it once more. I also found there to be a little too many references/metaphors/turn of phrases referring to cold. Yes, I get the cold symbolizes her grief and loneliness, moving on please. :P No need to have a cold reference every scene. I kept thinking, "Heero, PLEASE GIVE HER A BLANKET; She's going to catch hypothermia!"
This is really nitpicky but I thought I'd bring it up anyway. You say this fic was suppose to deal with mourning the death of a parent and how one behaves and makes decision during her time of grief. While that was certainly true in the first half of the fic, I felt later on, this theme was eclipsed by the goal of Heero and Relena getting together. Again, this is really nitpicky and in all honesty, it doesn't really bother me, but a story that was really suppose to be about mourning turned into just another romance in the end.
The biggest problem here was Heero's fashback. I didn't find it unneccesary. I liked how it acted as Heero's motivation to finally come clean with his feelings. I just felt it could've been written better; I had a difficult time wondering what the conversation b/t him and Dr. J was all about? It was hard to piece together. Also, was that even Dr. J (I'm pretty sure Dr J and the rest of the doctors died by the end of the series too. lol)? I just found it a little confusing to understand. Like why did he want to know about Odin Lowe? What did the doctor mean about tying up loose ends? Also, how Dr. J said something about Odin killing Heero Yuy(politician) but then spent the rest of his life avenging his death? I am privy to the history of Heero (soldier) but still, even I was confused at what you were trying to get at here. I would also prefer if you label WHEN the flashback happened. Even though it was stated that he was a teen during that conversation and then later near the end that it happened 'a long time ago', i was still under the impression the flashback happened recently. I found it wasn't clear enough.
Also, Relena referred to him as her 'best friend?' Even when its alluded that he's been absent for a long time? A little out of context.
One more thing is your use of dialogue tags, Again, this is another nitpick and really, it didn't bother me so much. I've also been known to favour the use of dialogue tags in my own writing b/c I like how its serves as an avenue to be creative with how your character behaves during dialogue. However, sometimes less is more and its best to just let the dialogue carry on its own. Too much description can sometimes interrupt the pace of the scene and come off long winded/overwritten. You had some really nice dialogue here so next time let it shine through.
All in all, a beautifully written, poignant, honest short story, Bb, and you know what? I'm going to favourite this. Seriously though, where was this quality when you were writing "Conflict of Interest?" I sorry to take another jab at that fic but if "Comfort" did not have your name on it, i would've never guessed in a million years that it was written by the same person. The difference b/t the two stories are so deeply contrasted by their quality, or lace thereof. "Comfort" is in a category all on its own, so I implore you to channel whatever mindset you were in while writing this into "Conflict of Interest" and your future pieces. Any doubt I had towards your potential as a writer is wiped clean, so please keep writing, and I will eagerly await for more.