|Reviews for From the Ground Up|
| Gloss66 chapter 25 . 12/23/2013
I've finally finished this story. Hope I'm not too late with this :P
Who were your favorite characters in this story?
Cove Barley (D1)
Olivine Keenan (D2)
Minx Hyede (D5)
Seer Brine (D7)
Lyra Bane (D10)
Cama Zale (D11)
Amara Dane (D12)
*But my favorite character, out of them all: Either Olivine or Amara.*
Favorite District partner:
Cove and Velour (D1)
Harley and Ivonette (D6)
Tobias and Seer (D7)
Most memorable moment: [This is going to be all over the place]
Seer killing Tobias; Ivonette and Velour's fight; Cama and Lyra's fight
Who do I think the Victor would be?
Cove, Robin, or Asher.
I am content with the Victor, although it would have been nice to see either Cove or Robin win.
| fromthegroundup chapter 25 . 12/7/2013
asher wasnt who i was expecting to win, but i think he was a nice choice for a victor. i would have liked either seer or robin to win, but d10 needed another victor even though wolfram won the year before. i think it was a nice thing to do and it shows that districts can win consecutively and they have as good as chances as anyone else.
my favorite characters were probably amelie, amara, seer, and robin
| PretentiousScholar chapter 21 . 12/1/2013
this it i swear
Ivonette, yes. She reflected on Harley's death and everything. It was nice, since you saw a new side to her and she brought out something new in her character, thanks to Harley. It was a nice perspective shift, but then towards the end, she's back to her normal self. Loved the thoughts on Velour too, since the two of them were some of the most dynamic tributes.
Robin. I forgot how he used to be and everything, since this was a while ago. He changed so much and he came such a far way from what he was. The fight between Cama and Lyra was so intense. I'm glad it was him who viewed it, so it wasn't biased or leaned towards one person. I know you did the same kill-one-kill-the-other type fight with Velour and Ivonette, but both of them were great. I loved that cactus thing too, I could imagine what that would look like. His last line was great, since he used their fight to question himself.
Asher! Well he wins.. so?
Poor Lyra; Asher could've helped, yes, but he didn't. It says a lot about him, and even Amelie. His and Amelie's relationship was really brought together here. Then the kiss, that was nice. Romance isn't always good or necessary for me, but it wasn't really a relationship like a boyfriend-girlfriend type one. They were more than friends, and once they kissed, it all changed for both of them.
| PretentiousScholar chapter 22 . 12/1/2013
Text me one more time about reviewing I don't think they went through
Well, there goes Amelie. I was just warming up to them too. I knew it was coming, since I saw Amelie dying a while ago with Asher, but it was nice while it lasted. That means no more alliances, too, which is interesting since they're all on their own now. I like how she reflected on District Nine and came to conclusion on a few things. Her last lines were great and it gave her more depth and it showed her true feelings about Asher. But, where was Asher? Why didn't he do anything? That was a little weird, but I guess I get it. Yeah.
Then Ivonette. It developed her more, in the sense where she figures out why she wants to win and if she really wants to. She's killed before, so I can't wait to see if she'll kill more than that. The topiaries, once again. Those are the best and are so interesting, but I wish she had to fight them. Either way I liked the addition of them. Her last lines were great as well; she really has come this far, and even though she has died, she did go down with a fight and never gave up once.
I AM DONE
THIS STORY ENDED A WHILE AGO
STOP BEING THIRSTY
| Call Me Fin chapter 5 . 12/1/2013
Though I'm not a fan of the name, Adam is actually an interesting character. His "love" for Gwen is interesting, and I can see he has determination to get home, though I don't think he will. He's trained, but he just seems to pale compared to the other careers, who I prefer better. He seems to naive as well, I mean, volunteering just for a girl, I find that hardly worth it, considering the few moments that we met Gwen, she seemed like a ditz.
Mariel is a character I'm fond of though, though her reasoning for volunteering is a bit questionable, I think she will do ok. She's trained a bit, and she has an interesting personality. But, again, I don't think victor material, she just doesn't seemed to have it in her, but maybe she'll surprise me.
Anyways, great chapter, I look forward to seeing these two in the games.
| PretentiousScholar chapter 23 . 11/28/2013
I'm done with reviewing this story just because you don't like numbers
Legit, get over it.
Robin was more-so the internal POV of this chapter. He reflected upon himself, others, the arena, etc, and I liked it because it gave him more depth. He's a very thoughtful character and I think it was a great addition to add the whole Adam-thing in it. It showed more insight on his character and how he's dealing with the death of Adam and all.
Her POVs are always some of my favorites, I don't like her as a person, but as a character, yes. I loved how they killed each too (despite Lyra/Cama doing it, I don't think it matters.) It showed a little bit about her life back in District One and what she was used to. She just loves luxury and leisure and the whole oasis thing was a great idea to show more of her character. Then, Ivonette appears. That was intense, and at first, I didn't expect Velour to die as well. I figured Ivonette would. I loved her ending lines, seriously; it was so reflective and emotional and it showed Velour's vulnerable and flawed side.
| Call Me Fin chapter 4 . 11/24/2013
This chapter had a few small mistakes, that in sure you don't care about, since it's probably been a while sine you wrote it.
Just things like you said Nora was district threes only victor, but then went on to talk about another district tree victor. Just silky things.
Anyways, onto the tributes, first off id like to say pretty much throughout the whole chapter I thought Robin was the female, and Kealyn was the male.. Until the actual reaping...
Robin: He's actually really unique, and unorthodox for district three. I think I like him, but I doubt him and his district partner will get on very well. He seems determined, so that will help in the games, and maybe he'll try to prove that not all district three people are the same, and win the games using something other than his brains? I'll keep my eye on him.
Kealyn: A fear she's going to fade into the back, nothing really sticks out about her to me.. But she is supposed to be really smart, so maybe she can handle herself once it gets to the games, if she can survive the bloodbath.
Anyways, a good chapter, with a few mistakes! I look forward to reading the next one!
| Dead By Moonrise chapter 25 . 11/23/2013
This by far is one of the best fanfictions for the HG I've ever read. Excellent job(:
| Call Me Fin chapter 3 . 11/21/2013
Another wonderful chapter, it's refreshing to not have monsterious district two careers.
Nero: Nero doesn't seem to be a killer, and I wonder if he'll be able to do it, one the time comes. Who knows, there's a lot of parents presuring their kids to volunteer this year. He is sure to get a lot of sponsors, thanks to his dad. Other than that though, I fear he might blend into the background too much. Who knows?
Olivine: Olive seems almost district one too me, I like her. She's confident in herself, and I just hope she has what it takes to back her confidence up. I didn't know district citezens could sponsor? And her friends leaving her like that was a bit confusing? Do they truly not feel for her at all? Maybe we will find out in the final eight interviews, if you write those.
Anyways, great tributes so far! I look forward to reading more!
| Call Me Fin chapter 2 . 11/21/2013
I know you probably don't read these reviews any more, but I'm just reading your story, and I find reviewing helps me in keeping track of the tributes.
So, Cove: His name, sounds suspiciously like clove.. But I like it, it's interesting. I like him too, he's not your average career, and he has an interesting back ground with his parents and all. I think he'll do good in the games, if he can keep focused, and not be distracted by finding out more information on tributes. He might find it hard to kill tributes, who may have valuable information that he craves. He's one to watch.
Velour: Is that how you spell it? Sorry I'm on my phone, and I can't go back an check. Anyways, I especially like her. District one is by far my favorite district, and she is so interesting. I'm curious to find out just how good at training she is? And if she'll actually be able to fight? She definitely has the personally for it. Another one to watch. I'm not sure how she'll do in the games. She might be great, or she could go down early. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
This was a great reaping chapter, and a great length. Good job!
| PretentiousScholar chapter 25 . 11/17/2013
Well, the fight in the previous was intense. Really intense, actually. It was nice to see Robin attempt to help, but yeah, he couldn't have done much. It was really just Seer v. Asher, with Robin on the side-lines. I knew Robin was going to die as it progressed, and I got the hint that Seer wouldn't make it either.
But onto this chapter.
I like how it was broken up into sections, if it wasn't I probably would've gotten bored and just skimmed, so good job for keeping me attracted to it?
Ahaha, the stylists and people were so funny. "One piece at a time," ahaha. It's funny how Asher just sat there and was like "uh-huh.." But; then he got all emotional. Yeah. I didn't laugh so much towards the end of that section..
Then da replays!
Those were nice. It summed up the games and reminded me of things that I forgot had happened in them. Asher's really observant actually and noticed things that he took particular interest in, rather than just looking at the video as a whole. The Capitol were really playing it up and tried on purpose to get Asher all worked up and make him upset.
Then train rides ooo
I like their conversation, it was really insightful and showed a different side to victory and future mentoring.
Then he's home
welcome back asher hadamik to district ten
| PretentiousScholar chapter 24 . 11/17/2013
okay I'll do questions since you're bothering me to get it to 200
sooo thirsty i swear
Velour, Robin.. Seer (for entertainment sake and to read her development), Lyra and Cama were interesting, and I guess Amara. They all provided different things for me.
Favorite District pair?
Oooh. Might be One.. or Six. Maybe Seven.
Favorite chapter or most memorable moment?
Definitely where Robin avenged Kaelyn, or where Seer manipulated Tobias and then killed him.. When Velour and Ivonette fought, where Cama and Lyra fought as well.
Who did I think the victor was going to be?
I thought it was going to be Velour, Robin, Ivonette, or Asher. So, yeah.
I am content, to be honest.
can i go now
| Burning Stars chapter 25 . 11/15/2013
So, this’ll be a generalized review, but I’ll answer the questions from the last chapter, too.
Overall, who were your favorite character(s)? Favorite district pair?
I actually really liked Robin, especially towards the end. He underwent a lot of development, and I’ve always been fond of the smart, arrogant characters who get their heads straight before it‘s too late.
Can’t believe I’m saying this, but Velour was pretty cool, too. The fact she was reaped, her ridiculous snootiness, her apparent survival skills, and her general elitism definitely provided some personality diversity to the arena.
And Asher, because I’m biased. -.-
My favorite district pair has to be Tobias and Seer, because she ended up betraying him big time, and also for reasons explained below.
Overall, what was your most favorite chapter or most memorable moment?
Favorite chapter… hmm… well. It’s been a while. Hold on.
Ok I just skimmed over them again.
You remember that one scene where Seer killed Tobias? Because I do.
and i cANNOT
There are so many unintentional innuendos and it is like 50X better on the second and third read-through. So that was definitely the most memorable moment.
My favorite chapter, though, has to be the one where Robin avenged Kaelyn. Mostly because he killed Adam, and Adam scored somewhere around negative two on my likeability scale. But also because that’s where Robin has this big realization that maybe he isn’t this unique wonder-child, and that entailed dropping the whole ‘I want to be special’ attitude, which was nice. Plus, it’s the chapter where Minx died, Amara killed herself, and Seer manipulated Tobias into killing Cove by literally just asking him.
At any point in the story, who did you think would be victor? Are you content with the victor?
Well, I can’t really complain, now, can I? I would have been cool with either Robin or Amelie, but I’m perfectly happy with Asher (for obvious reasons).
Asher definitely sounds like the arena beat him down, though I expected nothing less. I think he'll be strong enough to move past his time in the Hunger Games, though what happens to him after FTGU remains to be seen. I hope he'll show up in RoC, even if it's for two sentences. Wolfraim is also one of the coolest names ever. Just saying.
Now, for the overall writing/plot:
The Asher-Amelie romance wasn’t really something I expected, either. As you are well aware, I’m not particularly fond of romance since a block of ice stands in place of my heart. But I think you managed to pull it off. It still felt weird reading about my tribute’s romantic escapades, but it didn’t really detract from the story in the way I would have expected it to.
I am not sure if Minx was supposed to be particularly immature, but all of her POVs made her sound like a six-year-old. Come to think of it, that’s also what happened with Dresden. Hm. Careful with making the littles sound like toddlers, even if they are immature.
This is just me being pedantic, probably, but a lot of the internal psychological development looked a lot like information dumps and got a little too conversational at times. Using phrases like ‘you know’ and ending sentences with ‘that is’ kinda pulls the reader out of the story, because they’re filler phrases and unnecessary outside of dialogue.
Also, your writing is good enough to warrant at LEAST a once-over edit. I don’t care if you don’t like to read your own writing. ‘I squint my ears’ is not a logical sentence.
I didn’t think that Seer would turn out to be crazy. I though she was just a cold, easily agitated girl. Haha, boy was I wrong. Nice job concealing the crazy until about halfway through the area.
Speaking of which, the arena itself was great. I’ve always had a certain fondness for greenhouses, mostly because I’m into the whole bio-dome idea, but you turned the entire concept of a greenhouse on its head. They’re supposed to encourage growth and life, and provide sustenance for the people who tend the plants. But noooooooooo Manette instead engineered a greenhouse that encouraged pain and death, and all of the food is poison. The irony is beautiful.
Character development notwithstanding, you pretty much stuck to the tribute forms, at least as far as my tributes were concerned, so thank you for respecting the tributes that people gave you.
The plots were believable, I found myself getting more invested in the characters than I thought I would (to the point where I was yelling and whining at my computer screen in accordance to the character’s actions).
The dialogue between the tributes was, for the most part, believable and what I would expect from kids their age. Some lines actually made me laugh out loud because they were genuinely funny, and you need to understand - that pretty much never happens.
My favorite death is probably a tie between Tobias and Sinter, because I’m warped and I thought their deaths were kind of funny due to either the situation or the way in which they died. I mean, really, stripping down to practically nothing and then getting fried by solar panels? That’s like Final Destination stuff right there. In terms of drama, though, my favorite death was IVONETTE no wait I mean ADAM because it was violent and I hated him and Robin got character development.
And the fact that you finished ftgu is worth, like, at least one plot twist from the cashmebread bakery. Maybe two.
In all seriousness, though, I’m glad that you found the motivation, because it’s definitely a story worthy of completion.
(most importantly, at least to me, this syot is the reason why i know you, so even though i won’t admit it to you directly, that’s pretty cool, too)
…Yeah. I think that’s everything I had to say.
Now it’s time to move on to Riot of Color. It promises to be interesting. Happy writing.
| DA Member Hogwarts chapter 25 . 11/12/2013
Favourite Tribute: Ivonette!
Favourite district pair: Ivonette!
Favorite chapter: any with Ivonette omg duh!
Favorite moment: IVONETTE FROST!
Thought on victor: omg stupid Asher! :/ should have been Ivonette tbh :SSSSS
| Kerprew chapter 25 . 11/9/2013