|Reviews for Within The Same Sky|
| KingdomHearts101 chapter 8 . 7/21/2014
| KingdomHearts101 chapter 6 . 7/21/2014
You (fast) sonofabitchriku!
| KingdomHearts101 chapter 1 . 7/21/2014
| NexusXV chapter 2 . 6/26/2014
I nearly started crying this was so emotional. This is one of the best stories I have ever read. Keep up the good work!
| foodaholic chapter 43 . 12/7/2013
Aww...that's so sweet and sad... :'(
| foodaholic chapter 42 . 12/6/2013
I'm glad Xion's made a friend...why do people have to be so mean...?
| LenchkuMaximus chapter 24 . 3/27/2013
I feel bad for Xion :(
| PooperScooper000 chapter 23 . 3/26/2013
This story... frightens me. Lol. Riku is a madman. xD Continue please, this story is so interesting!
| RadicalForbiddenPizzaRoll chapter 2 . 1/18/2013
Though I've only finished reading the second chapter, I feel as though I don't have the ability to keep stop reading.
| Guest chapter 18 . 12/27/2012
què bueno :D
| Light Corliss chapter 18 . 12/27/2012
Giving Riku Xehanort's eye... very very good.
| LockePhilote chapter 16 . 12/19/2012
Sorry I took so long to review. I was making Christmas presents :)
Anyway, ... I'd say you nailed it. Riku realizing he's beautiful... good god that was perfect... it is bad that I laughed at that?
But I digress.
You made a really good start on ot : ) With time and practice, it will become more natural feeling, I promise. As it is now, I really like where you are going with it.
If you want to improve even further, as a next step try expressing how a character moves from both a characters POV and the third person omniscient POV of the narrator.
Ill say more in a message later. Things just got interesting here.
| LockePhilote chapter 13 . 12/16/2012
as sick a bastard as he is, I am glad that you present him in a sympathetic (ish) light. Your maturity and empathy as a writer truly shines through here. Good job.
| LockePhilote chapter 15 . 12/16/2012
... poor Roxas.
Did he honestly cut himself, I wonder? Or...
I'm hoping they were self inflicted, as the alternative is too horrible to imagine.
I feel for Roxas and I hope to see more of him.
You shortchanged yourself when it came to your description of this piece. While it does have flaws, which I will point out, rat bastard that I am, it also has its own power, its own honesty that I quite honestly enjoy. Good job : )
If you need a beta, I offer my services as a friend.
| LockePhilote chapter 14 . 12/16/2012
I like this chapter. I truly do. However, it does have its flaws.
For starters, i wish that you could have shown things more clearly here. Everything is a slight bit muddled, as if you knew what you wanted to say detail wise, but had trouble puttint it onto the page.
Also, a couple of word choice things, though that is just me. Describing Roxas as speaking in an almost spooky manner... well, that is your naratorial choice, but I believe you could have rephrased it as to not break immersion, as up till that point I was fully immersed in your writing. After that, however, it picked right back up.
THe ending more than makes up for everything else. ... The poingnancy of that moment between Roxas and Xion almost brought me to tears, and I applaud you for refferencing and continuing to build upon the themes that you presented earlier in this work.
All in all, an excellent effort that shows room for improvement (though, don't we all?)