Reviews for Getting To Know Your Other Self
Legendary Biologist chapter 6 . 8/27/2016
Glad to be back here! :)

Opening with Biyomon getting tired? Way to go! It grabs my interest almost in an instant, because something sweet will be happening between Biyomon and Hawkmon soon. ;) These two running away also leaves me a question: why? Well, I guess I just have to read on to find out!

Steady pacing throughout! Love how after the opening, you slowly reveal everything. Biyomon is tired, so Hawkmon go checks on her (which is just so sweet). But most importantly, I slowly learn why they run. For freedom. Considering that these two are dating, of course, they need privacy.
But then, Yolei comes. It's both a funny and a heartwarming scene. Yolei spying and butting in does hint that there will be no more privacy for Hawkmon and Biyomon, but at least, she does show some understanding. She seems to know that the birds don't wanna be disturbed, as what her suggestion to them shows: asking them to give a sign if she just gets too close to them.

Everybody's characterization is spot on! :D
I love how you portray Hawkmon and Biyomon. Through their actions and particularly their dialogue, it's easy to differentiate between them. I can see that Hawkmon is more of the mature and gentlemanly character, in contrast to Biyomon's more simple and girly character.
And Yolei. She is always that adorable and funny. Always curious (especially about others' relationships heh) and naive. How she appears to be rather oblivious (constantly butting in) to Hawkmon's and Biyomon's situation just shows her character very well.

This is what that drives the whole chapter, and I love the distinct voices you've given each character. Hawkmon always has that gentlemanly voice, Biyomon is more simple, while Yolei is always that talkative and curious about others. Even with the lack of dialogue tags, it's still very easy to follow who's speaking. Amazing job!

I just thought this chapter can be more 'colorful' with more descriptions of the setting. While sitting in the shade of the oak tree gives me an idea of the setting, I think you can add some more descriptions so that the writing will be more immersive. They don't have to be extremely long; just a brief mention will suffice, because this chapter is mainly driven by the dialogue. Maybe mentioning the terrain (Grassy?) when they sit down? Or mentioning how the sky looks like (Personally, I see there's the chance to briefly describe the sky when Hawkmon and Biyomon fly away)? Well, that's what I can think of now heh.

What a sweet ending. Hawkmon and Biyomon decide to fly away for freedom and privacy, and Yolei learns how important privacy is in relationship. Well, it's a happy ending for everybody!

Well done!
ReadingBlueWolf chapter 15 . 2/23/2016
Okay, so I’ve always loved this story and I’m glad you completed it. I’m FAR behind, but I’ll work on catch up. I will finish this story one day.

I love the teen dream of getting together with her love and ending up forever. In so many cases, it doesn’t happen, but when you’re that age the world is full of possibilities. I love the way you convey that here with the dream and all her hopes. You do show that other side of not happening though through Hawkmon. It’s so subtle and really well done. I love everything about that scene.

Wow. I’m curious to know why they’re so annoyed by their partners dreams. It’s a cute thing to bond over, however. I’m glad that Hawkmon and Biyomon can share things like that and be open with each other. It’s so cute!

The lead into their dreams was really well done. I like how Hawkmon dreamed of her, but it was also something he really wants in life. He wants to fly with her and not feel as if someone is judging him. I love how he wants to show her off. How adorable is that? He’s proud to be with her and wants everyone to know.

The gentlemon joke is super funny. I loved it. Honestly, I don’t think you even need the line in there about the humor. If you had italicized the “gentlemon” and left it at them chuckling and hugging that would have gotten the point across as well. Not that you have to change it. Just maybe for future reference on stories. You do such a good job of setting up things, you don’t need to explain things to go with it.

I have to say, I’ve seen you grow in writing as this story progresses. It’s so neat to see. You’ve come so far! And I’m excited to read that rest of this. Nice job!

MissScorp chapter 1 . 2/3/2016
Hi there, IP! This review is in special appreciation for your participation in the first ever RLt Adopt-A-WIP Event! I am woefully fandom blind here, but when has that ever stopped this Scorp? ;)

I really like the way that you wrote this chapter with short, choppy sentences. It adds emphasis upon the prompt that you choose (chill). The pattern starting with this: ((To imagine is one thing, but to go through with it is tricky. However, he knew it had to be done, though he wished that there were better weather conditions.)) and going to two sentences before falling back down into one makes me think of the way that the body responds to cold. If you remain still (one-line sentences) the cold seeps into your bones, but as you are moving (the two-sentence structure) the cold becomes less of a problem. It adds a fluidity of movement to the piece that underscores and plays well with the theme, making me feel Hawkmon's level of cold as he flies towards his unknown destination and connecting me with him because of his plight.

I like the play of time again here: ((Even though it was for a few seconds, it felt like an eternity to him.)) because it works well to illustrate how temperature can distort such things as perception, thinking and time itself. He's only feeling this blast of ((icy breeze)) for a very brief amount of time, but because of the extreme temperature involved, it felt like it occurred for a much longer duration. It is something that we can relate with, that we understand, that we know from our experiences and can empathize with him over. It also does a nice job of slowing the pace of the chapter, matching his flight time with real time and producing an effect where we feel as if we are making the journey and not just "there suddenly."

Aw, this: ((Her little offer made him feel even warmer. A simple glance – his sapphire eyes locking into her very own – and a quick reply was all he could muster.)) was just very sweet. It reminds me of a young boy who is interested in a young girl, but is not quite ready to reveal his crush, though she probably already knows and uses it a little to stir his feathers ;)

In all this was a very lovely chapter and you expertly captured the prompt you were using. Excellent job!
Legendary Biologist chapter 5 . 3/23/2015
Hi again, IP!

The opening has some neat descriptions. I like how you describe the sunlight and how Hawkmon reacts to it. I especially love 'rays peeking through the curtains', because I can imagine how it looks like.

Oh, yes, it's THAT awkward (in a good way of course) haha! Hawkmon did say that he loved Biyomon, but he was drunk last night, so he didn't know anything about it! I pity Biyomon though (who has started crying), who is afraid that Hawkmon doesn't really love her...but glad that he does love her. Aw!

The ending is awesome! That's REALLY awkward, getting caught kissing by Mrs. Takenouchi. :P The last two lines sum up the awkwardness!

There are just a few typos (like 'ok', which is usually written as 'okay', etc), but nothing really jumps out.

It's a fun read, IP! :)
Legendary Biologist chapter 4 . 3/16/2015
Hi, IP. My gosh, it's been a really long time since I read this! Well, I'll be continuing.

The concept of mistaking Sake for water is nicely done, because Sake does look like water. I especially LOVE the portrayal of the drunken Hawkmon here. Calling Biyomon 'darling' and 'babe' cinched it, because it's a subtle hint that Hawkmon has indeed been drunk.

The bonding moment is cute and makes me fuzzy all over. The way Biyomon reacts to Hawkmon's exhilarated condition is just sweet. She lets him stay in Sora's house. Then Hawkmon replying "this is the reason why I love you so much" just adds the sweetness.

The only errors I spot are the missing commas like in "Ooh(,) Biyo," and 'Oh(,) please(,)" It's not a big issue since a reread can solve it. :)

A nice, fun read, IP!
reminiscent-afterthought chapter 14 . 7/12/2014
Aww, these are so adorable. I particularly love how you build up their relationship in stages: how Hawkmon's so nervous at the beginning, how even Biyomon isn't immune to sticking her foot in her mouth and all the little domestic scenes you throw in that make them no different to human couples. I also love how you don't ignore the human aspect, nor the digital one - I haven't seen any hints about evolutions here, but you've got scenes in both worlds and a certain foreignness surrounding the human world as well. Lots of humour as well. :D I particularly loved the blood one. And how they keep on going to their humans, the digidestined of love, whenever their relationship hits a snag - lol, I'm waiting for that one to fall through the roof at some point. But you've made them into a really adorable couple, and even though I read a lot of digimon, never imagined these two together.

Nice work!
Luna Rapunzel chapter 2 . 7/4/2014
Hitting this guy up instead of Revisions tonight because I took a personal Sims day to recover from my bad week and now it's three in the morning and I'm opting for the story with shorter chapters. I am a horrible human being. But yes. Revisions on Sunday for sure! :)

D'aww, fluff. I appreciate the irony of Hawkmon building 'the question' up to be this terrible thing he's going to dump on her and then it turning out to be asking her out - it's a fun twist, and it's a nice touch of characterization because your narrative up to that moment shows just how wigged out he was leading up to that point and the extent to which he was blowing it out of proportion.

Hawkmon's first exposure to hot chocolate was also cute, and it was a nice touch to show the dynamic of their relationship - an interesting contrast between easy and, for Hawkmon's part, nervous - that came across by you adding it before developing it at the end of the chapter.

A couple of slight grammatical things: 'viola' should be 'voila,' you've got some punctuation/capitalization slips in a couple of places, and there should be a comma between 'sip' and 'however.' Nothing too distracting, though, or anything that detracts much from the enjoyment of the chapter!

Try and get at least /some/ rest and rejuvenation this weekend, and let me know as always how I can help. :D
Luna Rapunzel chapter 1 . 7/2/2014
Disclaimer: fandom-blind! But you probably already knew that.

Oh, I love your first sentence - it's a nice mix of eloquent (yay infinitives!) and intriguing-plot-wise. And in general, I'm really liking the sort of stately writing you've got going so far - "A beautiful night it was," etc.

"where his destination is at" - Should be past tense, right? Also, dangling prepositions are my favorite thing to use when speaking in realtime because I'm from the Midwest haha, but I feel like this one doesn't fit too well with the style you're using so far. Alllllso you can probably replace a couple of those 'Hawkmons' with pronouns.

"worn upon her face" - Another nice instance of not-quite-formal wording. I like.

"its cold outside" - Should be 'it's.'

Intriguing opening, and I'm curious to see where you go with this based on your summary (and the fact that you're using a nonlinear timeline! I love nonlinear timelines).
DjinniFires chapter 8 . 3/16/2014
Nice that Hawkmon and Biyomon caught a break. Although she's living with a family, she's being allowed her space and she and her bird-of-a-feather are quite comfortable together now. Beyond they're realization of this after Mr. Inouye's brief intrusion causes no problems, not much happens in this chapter. The prompt of "fluffy" certainly is fulfilled.

Yeah, women usually figure out the romantic comedies quicker than the guys do.

The human adults are understanding of what (I'm assuming) are adult Digimon. What does Biyomon's girl think now that she and Hawkmon are actually together? How long will they be content with dating?

Beyond that, perhaps you could name the romantic comedy? At first I was going to suggest some just based on titles ("The Bird Cage"- -though the couple is gay; "Bird on a Wire," "The Swan Princess," "My Little Chickadee"?), but then I saw you might have one in mind (a love triangle where the blonde ends up with her attorney).

Paragraph 5: Isn't Hawkmon a male? [Hawkmon looked at {{her?}} girlfriend before answering.]
Paragraph 9 and 4th-paragraph-from-the-bottom: Connect the attribution to the dialogue with a period since the attribution is not in the form of speaker word that denotes speech. The other attributions are, so they're fine.
2nd-paragraph-from-the-bottom: [...of being intruded {{upon}} by others...]
ReadingBlueWolf chapter 14 . 8/24/2013
What happened earlier in the day? Uh oh… Is this a continuation of the last one or something completely different? I love the radio voice. I think that’s magically ha ha. Do I get to know what song you chose? I think that might have everything to do with it. And what happened to Biyomon? I want to know these things in the beginning! I love how you use that little scene to dig the hooks in and make me want to read every last word on the page and then some. Boy, Biyo’s not in a good mood when she’s awoken by her man. Wait, what frigin song is it? Is it Breakfast at Tiffany’s? I love that song! NICE CHOICE! That’s why we’re other halves. Just so we’re clear. I like how you bring the reality of relationships into this. It’s not always rainbows and roses. There are tough times. There are times when it’s stretched and it might not work. But there’s also the fact that they are trying to work things out. I love that. I really love this pairing. I’m a Biyohawk shipper now thanks to you. Forever! I’m gonna tumblr it up and make it legit. Lol. Great job, IP!
ReadingBlueWolf chapter 13 . 8/11/2013
YES! I’m super excited for this magic eight ball! Oh my God! I’m so so so excited. I wonder why he’s staring at it. Does he think it’s going to float? I love the bits of description in this from the plastic ball to Hawkmon’s sapphire eyes. That’s really awesome. I love how you labeled the eight ball an antique. That cracks me right up. Oh goodness. And I love the confusion about what it does. That’s awesome. I’m wondering what she’s going to ask it. And I always heard that you had to ask it silently in order for it to “work”. Ooohhhhh poor Biyomon. It’s doubtful she’ll be successful. That’s really sad. And then there’s issues with them thinking this is real. No! Don’t believe the eight ball! WHAT! I think you meant “After a quick shake”. And “A good shake”. I don’t like this one. It’s sad that they’re putting so much weight on that dumb toy. I like them together. I don’t want to see otherwise. They’re really cute together! Stupid toy! *Pouts in the corner.*
Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 14 . 8/8/2013
Rolling Commentary:

At the title: Oh myyyyyy. This could be interesting... :P

"were playing from it." -Event?

"'Coming up next, it's" -For a moment, I thought that was talking about the band... Eh!

"it works…but I" -Which event was this again? XD

"come around. Maybe the" -Hmm... Fight?

"eyes widened. "Ooh," -... I'm guessing messages unintended will be sent. *nods*

""No, silly, it was" -Hmm... And she probably won't correct him, will she? Heh. Mind you, she probably doesn't know what he thought he heard... Hm.

""Oh, I can't wait" -Well, you probably will wish you had, I suspect. :P

"Early the next morning," -Well, this'll end well.

""I have something to" -Heh, or at least listen to. *nods*

"short sigh. "It better" -Man. What did happen?

""Here; open it up" -Well, here we go.

"look. "Just what is" -A good question!

""Are you telling me" -Very likely!

"more hurtful. "Is this" -If so, the joke is on him.

"he said. "I'm going" -Not a clue!

""…Are they not talking" -Not likely!

"her explanation. "Okay, so" -So, in short, poor choice.

"was said. "So the" -No, but the way he said that, I can guess what it was. XD

"still there. They wanted" -Makes that whole thing rather awkward, that it does. *nods*

"before replying, "I definitely" -D'aww...

"That's all he needed" -Very d'aww!

General Thoughts:

Well, it all went well in the end, but... heh. If only he'd done a little fact checking! A quick visit to 'lyrics-r-us' or something. Always a good idea with a song, even if you think you know the lyrics. *nods*

Anyway, hm. So what is the event that keeps being brought up, anyway? Don't seem to recall anything like that in the previous chapter, not exactly leastways... Hm. Well, either way...

Good stuff. :)
Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 13 . 7/31/2013
Rolling Commentary:

At the A/N: Heh. Shift happens, eh?

""I wonder what this" -... Aw man. I don't even know what's going on, and already I know this is a bad idea. XD

"front of him. His" -*double checks the prompt* Ahh, right. Heh. Don't follow its advice. Bad idea. Trust me. XD

""Come in," he hollered" -Who I am sure will soon begin some epic facepalming, incidentally.

""Hey; so what's this" -Definitely so, then.

""Here it is,"" -They're fun to mess with; have one myself, I do. I don't think I'd call them antique, though.

""Well, he explains that" -With considerably less accuracy than a coin flip!

"give it a shot?"" -With a rifle or a handgun?

"encouraged her. "Just ask" -Aaaaand hilarity ensued.

"made up or something."" -*awesomeface .jpg*

"her answer. "It reads" -Better than mine; I ask it if I'm doomed, and it always reads some variation of 'certainly'.

""…Wait, what do you" -Roundabout d'aww is what she means. :P

"of anger. "Here, give" -I think he might be displeased at the possibility. *nods*

"After a quick shook," -Shake maybe, not shook? Hm. Either way, I guess those things are all fairly malevolent, aren't they?

"near watering. "What do" -Obviously, it means the thing's full of [EXPLETIVE DELETED].

"you do. Don't let" -D'aww...

"the favor. "Not a" -Soon followed by a crashing noise and a facetious 'oops', I'm sure.

"A good shook is" -Hmm, still thinking shake, but that's me. Hm. Either way... curiosity killed the cat, don't you know?

At the A/N: 'tis what they get for taking that thing seriously, really. XD

General Thoughts:

Yeah... don't believe a word those things say, they're notorious liars. And like to answer in ways contrary to desired outcomes. Best to give them a shot at 500 meters with an anti-tank rifle. *nods*

Er, anyway, so I guess that'd be an issue for the more superstitious, wouldn't it? Which means I'm not particularly surprised he's having issues with it (sort of), but I'm surprised she's taking it seriously at all. Heh. Just goes to show, I guess. Either way...

Good stuff. :)
Dominus Tenebrosus chapter 12 . 7/27/2013
Rollin' Commentary:

Heh, no prompty chapter title? :P

"Nobody should have to" -Something delightfully mundane, I'm guessing.

"store's door. Thanks to" -*awesomeface .jpg*

""Don't worry, we're almost" -The ordeal may end, but the scars are forever! D:

"top of the door." -*confused*

""Eh, I just tune" -Harmonica?

"buzzing with that noise." -Alarm clock?

"situation somewhat better...somewhat." -In the 'you're here, but why aren't we sharing the torment' sort of way?

""Oh, don't worry about" -Uh-huh...

"at his current position." -I sense that attempt is doomed to fail.

""Oh, hush up, will" -lolololol

"reply. "Is something the" -Oh, no, everything's just peachy.

"before replying, "Yes, and" -Heh. What is that thing, anyway?

"to explain, "I've been" -Oh. Ohhh. Man. Maybe I should have waited to do this review after I finished imbibing my coffee, that really should have been a gimme.

""Wanna talk to my" -*awesomeface .jpg x2*

""...No, but maybe talking" -Mayhap!

""It might? Because I'm" -Don't know until you try!

"a wall! Why was" -Because we're a delightfully unobservant species sometimes.

""I don't know, do" -You're close enough, so yes.

"his head. "No, but" -Heh. Or they could check this review... XD

"screaming out in agony." -Sounds like he needs an aspirin.

""You can close now" -A welcome relief, I'm sure.

"to ask, "Do you" -lulz. Yes, a spot of aspirin might help.

At the A/N: Hey, don't worry aboot it. Delays happen. *nods* Good luck with things, ja?

General Thoughts:

Heh, so don't see the prompt mentioned anywhere here, but that's alright, because somehow, I think I can guess. ;) Heh. It's really quite obvious in retrospect. And probably mentioned in the last chapter's A/N.

Anyway... Poor guy. Definitely needs an aspirin. I can imagine that getting rather old after a while. Hm. Particularly if he's been there all day, which it seems he has... Poor guy. Heh. Either way...

Good stuff. :)
ReadingBlueWolf chapter 12 . 7/25/2013
Oh sad! I can't believe that he's kept in a cage. Regular birds are fine, but he's different. I feel bad that he has to be kept in a cage. Aww! His girl arrived! That's super adorable! I'm glad she showed up. But I have to agree with Hawkmon, those things are SUPER annoying!
her."-There's a speech tag at the end you don't need.
I love how Biyomon is trying not to make fun of him. That's really cute. However, when she starts getting snarky I absolutely love it! Her comment about his home was awesome.
There's a paragraph space between "off. Can" that's odd. You might want to check into that.
Hawkmon's snark and irritation made me chuckle. I love how he's telling her to talk to his migraine. That's awesome. I love the incorporation of bells into this.
"thoughts screaming" Another odd space. FFN is being super weird.
I love how it ends with Biyomon asking about the medicine to help him. That was adorable. I like this one. I was sad you didn't name this chapter though. :/ It was totally cute though!
I can't wait to see what you do with the Magic 8 Ball. That's going to be amazing! Great work!
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