|Reviews for We Stand United|
| Fury074 chapter 2 . 13h ago
Considering how old Madame Pomfrey is, I doubt Sirius would remember her older sibling as being a few years ahead of him in schooling.
| ThomasNealy chapter 49 . 3/3
If Harry does not stop hiding things from Sirius and Remus he is going to get people killed. He gets pissed about no one telling him any thing and yet he is doing the same thing.
| zha'aiacole chapter 49 . 3/2
This is one of the best stories I have read! I can hardly wait to read more and see the new twists and turns! Thanks so much for sharing it!
| Mighty pen 20 chapter 19 . 3/1
Well, the verdict so far:
You are a capable writer, there are no spelling or grammar mistakes, etc. The bad point is the repetitiveness you have injected upon the story, describing the daily happenings again and again. You sometimes sum them up, but they are still there. You could skip mentioning us every single day' s lesson and occurences if nothing of note happens. (That is what scene breaks are made for! ) And, we have of course, training, training, training, gah! Too much of it.
Concerning Harry' s new friends, (Anthony, Susan, Blaise ) there is no physical description of them (unless i missed it? ), and not even a single line of characterisation. They all speak and behave almost the same. If you swapped their names around, people would not even notice.
Personally, i think it would be better if you put out smaller chapters, but with action, and the important happenings. Of course, other people who have a hard on for detail would disagree with me. However, i find myself slightly bored and skipping paragraphs.
That said, on the few parts where there is action, you portray it very nicely, and we are kept on edge.
All in all, i think i will have to stop reading the story for now. What you have recounted until chapter 19 could have easily been said with half the word count. Might come back to this fic in the future, because despite everything, it does have its charm. Good luck with your future endeavors! ( Just remember, you do not need a large quantity to make sure you have got decent quality! )
| Mighty pen 20 chapter 9 . 2/28
A very interesting tale you have woven so far. It is one of the few Harry and Sirius family fics that i have managed to read past a couple chapters without getting bored. That said, let' s nit-pick a bit, shall we?
First off, the story is a bit slow paced so far, especially on the training parts, but not enough to make the reader really tired. Your decent writing style helps as well. Hopefully, the speed will pick up a bit with the beginning of the Hogwarts arc.
Concerning Harry, if i may say, he acts a bit too much like a f****t, considering he is apologising about anything and everything, and his behavior in general. This is of course a byproduct of the way he has been raised in your fic, but it seems a bit excessive to me in some spots. (No matter what has happened to him, he is 14, not 7! )
Concerning the kidnapping, Harry was never questioned by any law enforcement officers? ( Aurors ) . No testimony against Flint and Malfoy? No police investigation? Fudge simply handles the whole thing, and everything is just swept under the rug? Something is really amiss there. I guess you want to portray the government' s corruption at its peak.
Finally, good job so far. Let' s see how this story turns out to be in the next chapters.
| Guest chapter 49 . 2/17
Can't wait until the next chapter this is brilliant :-D
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/16
THIS is how I felt this book should have gone :)
| jeffs87 chapter 49 . 2/13
Love ur story. It started with one small change that makes all the difference. Please keep going.
| DracoAngelOfLight chapter 49 . 2/9
NOOOOOOOOOOOO how could you do this to REmus no no no update soon pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
| JelloGirl323 chapter 49 . 2/6
Ermygosh! Ermygall! Ermygoshgallygosh! This fic is freaking amazing. I... wow.. this...AHH! So dang good. You have a gift.
Update please, before I go insaine(er).
| Traveler301 chapter 31 . 2/3
I really like your Brianna, as Harry's girlfriend. Please don't kill her off or have them break-up.
Love your story,
Ron Pate Traveler301
| taikuus chapter 2 . 2/3
I just found this story, and if it's okay with you, I'd like to write a review for these chapters as I read them.
First of all, I ADORE how you right Sirius. He's so in character. Most don't get it right and either make him too childish or too happy. God...it's a nice change. Sirius has always been my favorite by a long shot, and so far you've written him beautifully.
I also have to thank you for not adding ships of any sort (I hope this doesn't change). Romance often distracts from the storyline when there's a plot other than the ship(s).
| Marionette of Ancient Relics chapter 49 . 1/30
You kill Remus, I kill you
-Marionette of Ancient Relics
PS: I LOVE THIS!
| jennadancer chapter 49 . 1/27
Wow! That was a powerful chapter. Please don't let Remus die.
| Guest chapter 49 . 1/22
I found this fic and have read all 49 chapters in just a few days, I could not stop reading it. This is amazing. poor Remus hope hes okay. :)