Reviews for Fidelacchius
petros308 chapter 4 . 12/21/2012
I got lost a few times because I have no idea how a camera blinding gun works or what he was doing with the dry wall. I had to go back and re-read which through off the story for me. The fight was spot on though.
petros308 chapter 3 . 12/10/2012
Very nifty. I like that there is serious doubts in the abilities of a young man and his sword against a whole compound full of nasties. I expect a boat load of fear and awesome when he breeches it.
ht57 chapter 2 . 12/8/2012
Thank you to the few that have reviewed my story. In answer to a question concerning Carol, she was what I came up with as a tie in for Brandon to be introduced to Michael and Murphy. There were some that knew in Ghost Story that Murphy had the swords and I built Carol as kind of a high up Paranet member that was in the inner trust circle so would have access to critical information. A character that you hadn't met yet because she is more in line with the Brighter Future Society. With Charity being called stout, Jim Butcher writes her as being a woman that is somewhat muscular and able to handle herself. That was what I was meaning by the stout part, that she was built sturdy and not a waif. Thank you for the recommendations and comments. The first chapter I played around a bit with third person view points centering around Carol and Brandon, the little stars I put to indicate a shift didn't make it to the readable format so I'm sorry if it is a little bit of a hiccup.
Guest chapter 2 . 12/8/2012
Excellent read. Very much enjoyed it, and am looking forward to future installments. (At least, I'm hoping you're not going to leave us wondering what happened to Kim... :) )

My only criticism - you described Charity as "stout." Somehow, I doubt she would have been the type to "let herself go" after Michael got hurt. She's probably close to as in shape as she was when she went storming Arctis Tor. I mean, look at how many rug rats she has to run after? :)
petros308 chapter 2 . 12/8/2012
Me likey. There is a great core of a story here. As Murphy was the last previous wielder of the sword, perhaps she should weigh in on the man. Also, we don't know what Shiro did for a living besides Knight of the Cross. The Knights proper are of Royal blood line in the Dresden files. It goes along with being the sword arm of the King of Kings.
petros308 chapter 1 . 12/8/2012
Damn good start to a story. The character of Carol is a little improbable as the fact that Murphy has the swords is a secret to all. I would of liked a bit more batman and yoda vibe going on. She knew what was going on a little too quick. I think he should of bounced and then met up with his siblings. Have God find him as it were.
ht57 chapter 1 . 12/4/2012
profile/view/ht57 If you would like to see a novel that I have written