|Reviews for Second Chances|
| Tomon chapter 9 . 3/11
Yeah, Harry is endagering everyone... Well, Hermione would be probably dead in her first year since he is such endagering presence... Also he wasn't the reason for opening the chamber of secret at all.
Daphne really is acting strangely and why I agree that she can fear for her mother She herself is quite prejudiced while blaming other for the same defiency. Also so far way too perfect Hermione and sort of non existence Harry, you even let him freeze and while I agree that Hermione got more spells under her belt and he isn't perfect, if there is something to him is that he can act on his feet.
The story written pretty well and our "heroes" are pretty young so acting stupidly isn't that out of character but so far I'm not really impressed. Well let's try at least few more chapter to see how it will continue
| Zaxarus chapter 15 . 2/28
I'm not an English native speaker, so certainly I'll continue to make quite a few grammar errors and my sentence construction is a bit off. Regretfully I hadn't a Beta for this story.
About the flashbacks: You're probably right. Personally, I like flashbacks, but they certainly make it more difficult to follow the story.
| Anon chapter 15 . 2/27
I couldn't resist posting again... Okay, why did you skip Pansy's Boggart? Granted, Neville had no reason to pay attention to her, but she is becoming a very significant character and so her fear would be very relevant I'd think.
| Anon chapter 15 . 2/27
I randomly decided to download this fic in epub form to read it (due to it's length) and for quite a bit have been planning on waiting till the last chapter to review... But I can't.
This fic is driving me nuts. Great story, but the grammar at times makes me wonder where you learned to read. I regularly find myself rewording sentences just so that they make sense; I'm thinking a better beta is in order.
Also, your flashbacks. Too many. Far too many. They should only be used when the reader simply should not be aware of something at all until after the fact; using them because you randomly didn't feel like writing it in order with proper transitions for time gaps is poor form. The way this is written, one must almost have a mind capable of keeping track of time travel paradoxes and brain-bending logic loops just to follow the story.
BTW I have not finished this chapter, just jumped to it cause I'm in it as I write this. Will probably post another review again near the end once I do finish with similar statements to the above, maybe with some other insights on the story itself (which, again, I do love the story so far).
| cross4m3 chapter 21 . 2/26
I have a mischievous cat named Owen who is...not too smart. One time he decided to sniff a lit candle, in the process he stuck his whiskers in the flame of the candle next to it and set them on fire. He was fine but his whiskers didn't grow back for awhile. He ran into things a lot more often.
| Harrie chapter 8 . 2/9
This chapter seems to end rather abruptly with "HermionhH". As though something got cut off or mangled past that point.
| Alejo chapter 1 . 2/8
Muy bueno. Ya voy a comenzar con la secuela. Gracias.
| lordblink chapter 50 . 2/4
Wonderful read. I look forward to reading the sequel.
| O-Mega Lead chapter 38 . 1/18
While this story has had a few ups and downs for me so far, how everything is coming together now along with several of the twists and unknowns... I definitely wanted to say excellent job. While Albus still seems to be falling into the "nonreactive to Harry changing" camp, he had his good plot with Ginny and Molly, and it was not a pitiful thing that was short-lived and easily destroyed by Harry. I'm only a bit curious as to why he didn't rope in others (concurrent or consecutively) or help them (the evil Hufflepuff/moody/OC). As a last thought, I've been binge-reading this story for the past few days, unable to stop to even play my Xbox... Again, great job. :)
| LuKrieg chapter 36 . 1/12
I never believed that I would ever say something like that, but "Go Lucius!" :D
Thanks for this wonderful fanfic so far. :)
| Endgames chapter 43 . 1/8
This chapter was just too much. I'm trying, really trying, to like this story. It's decently well-written from a structure, pacing, style perspective. You do a good job of developing the four main characters, each with their own flaws, into people we can really imagine and identify with. There is a decent amount of conflict, both within the group of our "heroes" and without. They work decently hard for their accomplishments, though this could use a bit more difficulty, and time is packed, but not overstuffed.
On the other hand, this story has turned into little more than a well-structured bashing fic. Dumbledore is at fault for nearly everything that has ever happened. When the evidence in canon is non-existent or circumstantial at best, you invent more evidence. He is the big bad who does what he does "for the greater good", even though we can clearly see that he doesn't even have any clue what he's trying to accomplish. Despite your assertion that you would try to the contrary, every plan Dumbledore comes up with is foiled relatively quickly, and none of them are even half-way as sneaky or devious as one would expect from any career politician, much less an extremely successful one.
This chapter just pushed the bashing too far by taking it literally. Petunia, a Muggle who is not comfortably in the Wizarding World but in canon always showed her pride, is portrayed as a timid woman who needs reassurances like a pet before she speaks. Then she steps up and attacks Dumbledore, the best dueler in Britain, and succeeds. Leaving aside for a moment the mechanics of how she knees him in the family jewels while he is seated (because I refuse to believe that he would be standing an hour into the meeting), he has better reactions and defenses than that. Don't have a Muggle able to take him out, then have Minerva doubtful about beating him in a duel in the next section. Besides that, you just don't do these kind of things. Someone could sit in court today and tell a father to his face about how he raped and killed his daughter, and the father would not be allowed to attack him. Yes, it's not an official court, and yes, Magicals are medieval in mindset, but it just cheapens the emotions when they're given such a quick outlet. Harry attacks Dumbledore, and then is immediately back to normal afterwards. Give your characters a little more credit.
I don't know. I want to keep reading this and reach the sequel, as I want to see if, once Dumbledore is finally out of the plot, we can move on to actual plot. But I have the sinking feeling that he'll be coming back like a bad rash that makes me rather uninterested in touching your otherwise good-looking story.
| Endgames chapter 39 . 1/8
I do not understand your use of Expelliarmus in this story. It is the Disarming Charm, not a Wand-Throwing Charm. It requires that the target is already holding the object before the object is thrown away. If they are merely wearing their wand (or reaching for it), the spell will do nothing to remove it.
| Endgames chapter 36 . 1/7
I'm really not a fan of the sudden switch to first person. I get that it makes the writing of thoughts and impressions flow much more easily than when trying to maintain a third person narrator and always having to say "she thought". But it's terribly out of place with the flow of the rest of your story.
| Guest chapter 6 . 1/5
Sorry, but your story was exceedingly boring. Entire chapters were completely pointless and could be removed entirely without changing the plot whatsoever. My advice would be to accelerate the rate at which you tell future stories as after 6 chapters I fell asleep
| Feathers from Orion chapter 31 . 1/4
So I have been marathon reading this fanfic for a few days now and I would like to say a few things
1) you have taken a very overdone plot (in my eyes) and turned it into something fabulous
2) I like the daphne you build in this story
3) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR NOT TURNING HERMIONES MINDSCAPE INTO A LIBRARY. A DENTIST'S OFFICE HOW WONDERFUL!
I don't usually follow authors on this site, simply bc I'm very picky about my fanfics, but you have gained a following in me. Thank you, good sir (or ma'am... my apologies it's very late and past my bedtime shhh)