Reviews for Fate False King
rc48177 chapter 2 . 12/8/2016
shame this story is dead
Shadow of a Memory chapter 2 . 11/28/2016
Seeing when this was last updated makes me very sad inside. This would've been fun to read, I hope you come back to this someday.
Guest chapter 2 . 10/27/2016
I think it was Dearg that lancer killed himself with. Buidhe was the short yellow spear
Anote Hazeldays chapter 1 . 9/28/2016
How many command seal can a person use? That's like 5 right at the first chapter for one servant
Hashirama 1710 chapter 2 . 9/12/2016
please update please
Xerzo LotCN chapter 2 . 3/1/2016
are you dead this time its been over 2 years if so i apologize and send my condolences on a untimely demise ... haha i tried to be serious but it was impossible
T51b Moridin chapter 2 . 10/11/2015
Mm. This is kinda entertaining. Lack of Survivor's guilt is nice. Prevents Original archer ending. Shame this hasn't been continued in a while I really like your writings. I found your LMS story very good.
T51b Moridin chapter 1 . 10/11/2015
On the Path of the King, I who have shown my Rule, The power of my own Divinity, As the Blood of Gods rushes through my veins, and the power of mine Kingdom presses down upon all reality, And so I command: Divine Order! I think that could work.
Thanathos chapter 1 . 10/10/2015
Just found this, and it seems interesting enough, especially since I have a similar idea floating around in my head. That said, there are a few points I don't like.

One, an Origin Bullet doesn't destroy every Circuit in the victim's body, only the ones activated at the moment it hits. Also, even Avalon couldn't heal that, because the damage to the Circuits is technically healed the moment the effect is enacted, only in the worst possible way. And Kirei being hit in the hand makes little sense, because Kiritsugu would have aimed center-mass for a bodyshot. No way he wouldn't have pumped Kirei full of lead while he was down, not against someone he personally deemed the most dangerous person in the war. One completely normal bullet from that weapon would blast a hole big enough to toss a coin through, and that would give Kiritsugu the comfort of certainty, something his work-ethic would suggest he'd appreciate.
Even if only the hand was hit, we're talking about a bullet that's meant to take down a bear with one shot. That hand is gone, blasted apart and what's left permanently neucrotic due to the tissue being 'healed' by the Binding-portion of Kiritsugu's Origin, another wound Avalon won't heal. And if Kirei was fighting someone with Quintuple Accel, then training or no training, Kirei WAS using Magecraft, at least some Reinforcement to keep up. So this Kiritsugu is a cripple, especially since Avolon's healing, which can't really help with his fried circuits or necrotic tissue since it doesn't work by time-reversal, will stop basically the moment Saber fades away, since it was tailored for Arturia and nobody else. Kirei isn't a young boy whose body is still developing, so the chances he'll adapt to it like Shirou did is low, especially since Kirei doesn't have the compatibility with a Sheath that Shirou as Sword has.

Next point, Arturia has A-ranked Magic Resistance. If she doesn't want to obey a Command Spell, then she can fight it for some time. She would expire before the Command overwrote her mind, and once she faded away the Command Spell loses its grasp on her, meaning she WILL remember what happened, and be utterly unamused. Also, Arturia is more the type to confront a Master she disagrees with and demand answers rather than plotting a backstab. Also, Arturia doesn't have Battle Continuation, so after cut in half, it'd take maybe fifteen seconds before she's glittering dust in the wind.

Final issue I have is Gilgamesh's Key. For one thing, I don't see her handing it over, period. It's basically proof of her kingship, irrefutable evidence that all the treasures in the world are hers.
Second, it's a key to access a vault. It has no regenerative effects of its own. The vault it leads to has stuff that could push both Kiritsugu and Shirou beyond mortal levels of health, but the key itself has no such property. It shouldn't have helped Kiritsugu, in fact the man should be dead after the Quintuple Accel, torn apart by GAIA's effort to restore natural order. Avalon was a sheath which would ensure the carrier never bled, it is a protective item with healing-properties by nature, and as such embedding it into someone would have positive effects. The Key is a small blade with the purpose to open a vault, nothing here indicates help of any kind to anyone that is hurt. Just dumping prana into someone, assuming the key were capable of it due to its connection with Gilgamesh, doesn't help, if anything it would make things worse. Channeling vast amounts of power into a person is likely to kill them as the power ruptures their Circuits. In the first place, Circuits aren't natural, humans aren't supposed to have them according to GAIA, so I don't see how channeling vast amounts of energy the human body isn't designed to deal with is in any way better at fixing injuries than connecting them to a power-socket.

Final point, the Gate of Babylon has nothing to do with the Truth of the primordeal world. That Truth is connected to Ea, the Sword of Rupture that separated Heaven and Earth. Said sword is kept in the Gate, yes, but that's the extent of their connection. The Gate of Babylon is a storage-device, if anything it is connected to the concept of human ingenuity, but NOT to Ea's Truth. There is no way for Shirou to access that truth through the Gate of Babylon, especially if Ea isn't even in it at the time.

The idea has potential, but the work on the details was a tad sloppy. Not a bad story per se, but it could use a bit of polish.
redwave166 chapter 2 . 9/9/2015
Good ideas for a story, well written, too bad it seems dead. I live in hope that it may one day be continued.
Geremonie chapter 1 . 8/7/2015
Like it!
LostPeace chapter 2 . 3/14/2015
hmmm, interesting.
Parks98 chapter 2 . 2/15/2015
I can only say one word to describe this simply... brilliant
asdad chapter 2 . 12/10/2014
Kuma Dzurui chapter 2 . 11/2/2014
Ohhh this is just awesome and i really really want to read the next chapter
82 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »