Reviews for Dark Water
guest 456 chapter 3 . 1/12/2017
Levi2002 chapter 3 . 1/4/2017
I know that this must be your last chapter...But please continue with it. I love it a lot...and you left us at a cliff hanger.. I want to know what happens to Jack please!
Nightwing15 chapter 3 . 11/20/2016
Please update soon! I love this story so far and I wouldn't mind (I WOULD LOVE TO) continue reading it. ;D
mizuki chapter 3 . 4/27/2016
this is really really really really good. update please
Guest chapter 3 . 1/14/2016
I love this story! It is just amazing. you can't leave it at a cliff hanger like that. Please, please, please continue this story. Please.
narutovsitachi6 chapter 3 . 11/18/2015
please countinue
No one important chapter 3 . 11/11/2015
Amazing plz keep writing!
acrisafu chapter 2 . 10/6/2015
Totally re-read this!
I hope you decide to finish this! It's a great story and I'd love to see the end. (:
acrisafu chapter 3 . 6/22/2015
Wow this is good! Like really good, so I don't think your gonna make Jack die. He's gonna be under Pitch control... or slave? I could be wrong but that's what it feels like.

I know it's been forever but PLEASE don't let this die. It's an awesome story and I'd like to see it to the end. Any chance of picking this up again?
MoonlitFudge chapter 3 . 6/18/2015
PLZ, do more chapters!
DragonRobotkid676 chapter 3 . 4/11/2015
Please update soon
ClockworkSpinner chapter 3 . 4/2/2015
please oh please update this. i understand it been ... awhile ? XD
i really like how its written and i want to know what happens next :D
iB3LIEVE chapter 3 . 4/20/2014
Lavacat242 chapter 3 . 4/5/2014
OMG! Keep it up! Dont u even think about letting Jack die. Save Him!
The Fandom Garrison chapter 3 . 11/28/2013
Okay, this is a very good story! You use good grammar, the dialogue is realistic, and the vocabulary is advanced yet understandable!

Now, my critique: occasionally, the current ideas can be a bit scattered—one example was all along chapter two, when things were happening fast and all at once. In a way, your writing made the ideas seem a bit too scattered to connect. Try prepositional phrases—these will help connect your ideas. An example:

Something happens, like the sickening gurgling noise comes from Jack. Then, you talk about north preparing to rip the spear out. To better establish that these two things are happening at the same time, try something like:

AS Jack convulsed and fought, North took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he knew would be an experience that would change them all.

Using as, while, since, if, etc will help the reader see that multiple things are happening at once!

Thank you for writing this! It truly is amazing!
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