|Reviews for Goodbye|
| videogamenerd101 chapter 6 . 1/6/2013
So yeah, I just want to mention the fact again that these kind of songfics aren't allowed on FFn. Sorry if I'm being picky, but I just wanted to point this out. Also, I would've liked to see more imagery/detail in some places. There were also the occasional comma splices and typos, too.
Now... that was so cute! Looks like everyone did follow their dreams and Henry and Rika got married! That is so awesome! I also really loved that last line that Rika says. It was a great way to end the story.
Even though there were the mistakes and rushed feeling throughout this story, it was definitely worth reading. I'm glad you suggested this story for me to read, because I thoroughly enjoyed it. :)
| videogamenerd101 chapter 5 . 1/6/2013
First off, the mistakes. This was only just a tad bit rushed, and there were still comma splices and occasional typos. Also, if you're talking about a boy, use "brunet" instead of "brunette." (Brunette is for girls, brunet is for boys.) And once again, these kind of songfics aren't allowed on FFn. There's also one more thing I want to point out...
"A few more moments and the plane were gone from view."
It's supposed to be "the plane was gone from view" since there's only one plane in this sentence.
I absolutely LOVED how you put the original Digidestined in this chapter! I'm an Adventure and Adventure 02 girl, and those two are my favorite seasons. I like Tamers and Frontier as well, so don't think I hate the other seasons. :P That party was a neat idea, if I do say so myself.
When they left each other on those plane flights... that was so sad! D: I especially loved the way Henry and Rika left each other, with the gift sharing and all. The heart pendant was so romantic, and that kiss was right on the spot! I can't wait to read the epilogue. ;)
| videogamenerd101 chapter 4 . 1/6/2013
Once again, these kind of songfics aren't allowed on FFn so I would take away all the lyrics and just replace them with those lines. I noticed some typos and comma splices again, and it was a bit rushed, but not too rushed.
OMG OMG OMG! I can't believe Takato and Jeri actually did it! me gusta me gusta! I honestly can't wait to see the talk that Takato's parents will have with those two, since they were doing it in bed and all. And I feel so bad for Rika! I wish Renamon was there to comfort Rika as well. :(
| videogamenerd101 chapter 3 . 1/6/2013
So this chapter wasn't as rushed as the previous two, but that doesn't matter at all because this was really sweet! The lack of detail didn't bother me, thanks to that heartrending ending. You still need to work on your punctuation problems, and there were a few comma splices. There were also a couple typos, too.
I feel so bad for Jeri! She had Leomon leave her, and then Henry and Rika, and now her boyfriend has to leave! So sad. :( On a brighter note, I really liked how Ryo was there to comfort her and tell her to move on with Henry. That ending with Henry giving Rika his jacket was really sweet and caring, especially since that flower and note was in the pocket.
I hope that Rika will go to Julliard, because she's an amazing singer. ;)
| videogamenerd101 chapter 2 . 1/6/2013
So yeah, once again with the punctuation, rushed feeling of the chapter, lack of detail/imagery, and the occasional comma splices. I suggest you go back over the story and fix that. Also, I believe that this was kind of a songfic, but these kind of songfics aren't allowed on FFn where the lyrics for the whole song is in the story. So maybe just take away all the lyrics and then it'll be fine. :)
So... Henry AND Ryo?! You were right about the whole drama thing. I felt like the kiss with Henry was rushed, though. It kind of came all of a sudden, especially when he admitted his feelings for her. I'm crossing my fingers that this other person that Rika told Ryo about is Henry. And Rika got accepted into Julliard's? Wonder how that'll play out. :)
| videogamenerd101 chapter 1 . 1/6/2013
I'm here, just like I told you I would! Sorry it took me a while. Along with the other story I was reading, a bunch of the authors and stories I'm following got updated so I read those, and blah blah blah. But I'm here, and that's all that matters. :)
First of all, I want to start with criticism before I start on the good stuff. So I felt like some places were rushed and I wished there was more detail or something like that. You could've added some imagery into this story so it would've been easier to imagine in the readers' also left out commas and periods at the end of the dialogue most of the time so I would go back and fix that. Also, I noticed a couple comma splices so I would go back and fix that as well.
Now, you did a good job of keeping all these characters ic, even if this chapter was quite short, and that's something hard to do. Rika used to date Ryo? Not surprised at all, really, but then he had to move to England. I wonder if he'll appear in this story... So Henry, Rika, and Takato are being asked to go to America? Wow, that's weird. :P I hope that they all see each other there or something. Although I felt like Takato's was a bit rushed, it was still dramatic and suspenseful, and I like that. :)
So the drama is only starting, huh... Well, guess I'll have to read on to see what happens.
| lesmystiquestar chapter 6 . 1/5/2013
I don't like it... because... I SUPER DUPER LOVE THIS CHAPTER. :D
Hope you write more and more! :D
| Digidestined Ninja of Sunshine chapter 5 . 12/30/2012
Tai?! Davis? Yolei? MATT?! YAY!
Great song, Rika.
Anyway, yeah, I am a little upset, but there is an epologue, so I'm not sad anymore.
If that made sense.
| lesmystiquestar chapter 5 . 12/30/2012
Beautiful chapter. I can't wait for the epilogue but I can already imagine what's going to happen there. ;)
| lesmystiquestar chapter 4 . 12/25/2012
You must be really good at the drama stuff. Sniffs again.
Keep it up!
I agree that the world didn't end. HAHAHAHA! :D
| Digidestined Ninja of Sunshine chapter 4 . 12/24/2012
O.O Jeri... and Takato...? Dun. Dun. Dun. I totally didn't see that coming...
Poor, poor, Rika... she deserves some happiness. I miss Renamon as much as she does.
| Eaten Alive By Boredom chapter 4 . 12/23/2012
That wa so not something I could ever imagine Takato and Jeri doing... Oh well... To be honest I am kinda hoping Renamon will appear and help Rika find the answer. I hope you update soon. :D
| Digidestined Ninja of Sunshine chapter 3 . 12/22/2012
OMG OMG OMG OMG!
"She listened to his calm heartbeat, a heart that only beats for her and no one else." OMG OMG OMG OMG!
"I'm sorry I still don't have an answer for you..."
"For you I'd wait a thousand years for you." OMG OMG OMG OMG!
You're so good with romance! It makes me tear up and want to go eat cheesecake.
| lesmystiquestar chapter 3 . 12/21/2012
Wasn't it a coincidence that the original three tamers (Henry, Rika & Takato) are going to America for their college degree?
Anyway, this one is so touching. Sniff sniff! ;)
| lesmystiquestar chapter 2 . 12/17/2012
Drama everywhere as they would say.
But this chapter is good. No matter if there would be OOCs. :)
Please update. :)