|Reviews for The Onyx Stars|
| NavalCombatTeam2525 chapter 4 . 4/8
I have nothing to say for this chapter, so here's some encouragement for whatever chapter you're on.
| NavalCombatTeam2525 chapter 3 . 4/8
If you're going to make up your own universe diverging from the games, at least provide a bit of background on it for us readers.
| NavalCombatTeam2525 chapter 2 . 4/8
Your AN at the beginning says that a Tiger could take out a Scorpion.
I just want to point out that in RL, a Scorpion wouldn't be as easy to destroy as it is in the game. You know, because game companies balance vehicles so infantry can take them out?
| NavalCombatTeam2525 chapter 1 . 4/8
Why do you switch between TAP and DUAP rounds? If you have TAP, just stick with that since DUAP's already being phased out for TAP.
| Minor Itch chapter 15 . 4/5
cliff hangers, WHY?!
Really good chapter, naval warfare is well depicted.I love how your making this story your own, but I feel like you were setting up something with Shepard, but then it kind of fell off the radar.
Update soon, it would violate the geneva convention if you didn't.
| Guest chapter 12 . 3/16
You've got a serious murder hard on for Spartans don't ya?
| Guest chapter 11 . 3/15
I'm conflicted, on one hand I hate you dearly for what happened with kilo five. DEARLY. But on the other hand, for reasons I don't yet understand, I love how sad it was and how you made the Spartans kill their own sister. That hurt me on a very deep level but it's fed some feeling. Keep up the great/terribly mean, work you Sith bastard.
| DerKerFer chapter 15 . 3/12
Love it! When's the next chapter due?
| PrimalStorm chapter 15 . 3/3
I really have enjoyed your story. I read all the chapters today. The story is that good and has an excellent author. I can't wait for the next chapter.
| death7559 chapter 15 . 2/28
| death7559 chapter 13 . 2/27
| Eipok chapter 8 . 2/15
Oddly enough, there was no mention of Preston Cole running around naked. I remember a story on this site where HSA Marines find The Everest and wake Cole, and he dresses down a squad of armed marines – all with weapons pointed at him – while he's just stood there stark naked, only asking for clothes AFTER he finished dressing them down for not showing the proper respect for a Vice Admiral.
Entering cryosleep with skin covered results in severe freezer burn, such that the clothes attach to the skin, the skin dries, and your skin cracks and bleeds and even falls off.
Also, Bronchial Surfactant, basically this nutrient-rich mucus-like paste with enzymes that prevent internal freezer burn, is applied into a person's throat and lungs when they go into cryosleep. It prevents their lungs and esophagus from being damaged, else they'd bleed, choking the person in their own blood. Better to have to painfully cough up some foul-tasting mucus from your throat and lungs than drown in your own blood while you're unconscious, right?
So, I understand that you massively decreased the size of the MAC rounds and changed some other stuff, but there is really no good reason for you to change cryosleep so drastically. It hurts the suspension of disbelief, and removes a good deal of urgency from the process of awakening from cryosleep, effectively turning cryotubes into stasis pods.
| Eipok chapter 5 . 2/15
I have no users on my Block list, and I even received your PM, yet FFN is still telling me that you've blocked me and is not allowing me to review or PM you. I'll have to bring this up with FFN support then.
Also, here's some review-type stuff to go in this "review":
I really like how sensible and unexaggerated you're handling the politics and contact scenarios, but I would like some more "OMGWTFisthathugespaceshipandhowisitpossibleforsuchathingtoexist?!" and "OMGWTFPLASMABBQ!". I mean, the scale of UNSC tech is incredible enough that I'd expect quite a bit of alarm at it's perceived impossibility on the part of the Council species.
| Eipok chapter 4 . 2/15
I wanted to review so I could tell you how amusing it was to see a HSA Marine use the term "clanker" to refer to Geth, and how it brought up fond memories of The Clone Wars, but it seems you've blocked me from contacting you.
Did we have some sort of spat long ago? I don't remember ever talking to you, to be honest, and so I'm really not sure why I've been blocked from reviewing or PMing.
| highlander348 chapter 15 . 2/16
The UNSC need reinforcements dammit! Can't the Elites show up or something? A CSO-class Supercarrier would be nice about now!