Reviews for The Man in the Long Black Coat
Naomi Pacheco aka jklly12 chapter 2 . 1/18/2013
so glad this story was recomended on face book Loving it. Love the song too. I haven't read your wifes stories but going to put her on alert right now. Not to many men in this fandom who write glad I found you.

Naomi Pacheco
nix69 chapter 5 . 1/18/2013
Loving it so far. Cant wait to see where you take this!
movieandbookgirl chapter 5 . 1/18/2013
Awesome story so far. I like where you're taking us so far. Looking forward to the next chapter!
robsjenn chapter 5 . 1/18/2013
ooh, she wants to die and knows he's a vamp! love it. she's a cutter, right? and there is abuse in her background in arizona (damnit, phil?)?

really, really liking this. thanks for writing! will check out mazzystarla next (kickass moniker btw).
robsjenn chapter 4 . 1/18/2013
dark, mean, totally messed up and confusing mess perfectmatch. everyone deserves redemption, right? (or not, if you're the preacher in this story).

awesomeness also using buttcrack santa in a fic.
robsjenn chapter 3 . 1/18/2013
so we learn more about edward (masen, not cullen, though he may have encountered the cullens) and bella (troubled yet perceptive as usual).

i like the fast pacing and your direct storytelling style.

thanks for writing!
robsjenn chapter 2 . 1/18/2013
glad to hear you've got this mapped out, as this could be very interesting. always need good AUs! thanks for writing.

btw, do vamps have fingerprints? discuss.
robsjenn chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
oooh, this is gonna be good. i love AU. i'm going to post a link to this story on a facebook AU and vampward site, okay?

thanks for writing!
CindyWindy chapter 5 . 1/18/2013
"He wouldn't rest until he was halfway across the country...he sat down at a picnic table...and waited, despite himself." This cracked me up! Silly vamp, he's not going anywhere. He's all talk with her and completely smitten.

In a similar manner, she seems to feel an intense connection to him that overrides the danger and evil she surely must sense in him. Did she want him to kiss her neck or bite her? I think she knows what he is. How she can be ok with it, I don't know.

Terrific story! It's a pleasure to read. You've got a great plot, intriguing characters and flawless grammar to boot! Thanks so much for writing!
CindyWindy chapter 4 . 1/18/2013
Another great chapter! I love the pacing of your story.

Edward's got quite a negative take on Christianity. That poor preacher, it sounds like he has a town full of hypocrites to preach to, who show up to church purely for social reasons. We're not all like them, Edward. Some people try to live what they believe. :-)

"Buttcrack Santa" - this guy, Edward! This is the type of vile fella you want to take out if you're having humans for take-out.

Does Bella not care that Edward munched Mike? I have all kinds of questions about this gal; everything about her is a mystery. She's all kinds of magnificent standing up to him at the end there! Great job on making Bella as interesting as Edward - not easy to do with Edward-lovers like me.
CindyWindy chapter 3 . 1/18/2013
"He thought of his own name, Edward Masen..." I love that you didn't completely reveal his identity until chapter three, instead referring to him by the mysterious-sounding "Man in the Long Black Coat."

"He had not had a home since before he was turned..." He's been roaming homeless for a century? No home, not even a name? So intriguingly different from Canonward. And really kind of sad.

It's very interesting how he justifies (excuses!) his diet. I am going to hold that against him until he reforms, lol. He could at least take after Canonward and only prey on the wicked. Where's Carlisle when you need him?

Reading further on in the chapter, it seems he knows of animal-only-feeding covens. You are such a bad boy, Edward!
CindyWindy chapter 2 . 1/18/2013
"She was, he acknowledged, quite beautiful." Ha! His shell is already cracking.

I can't believe she escaped! Ok, maybe not for long, but how did she pull that off? Simply woke up before he expected?

He's so cold, calculating and unrepentant in his killing of humans. You've written just the right amount of gore, with terrific details, such as him licking his finger.
CindyWindy chapter 1 . 1/18/2013
Fabulous introduction to your main character! What an entrance he makes: arriving at midnight and strolling down the center line of the road, acting like he owns the place with his devil-may-care attitude.

I've noticed that of the few male ff writers, they tend to write a strong and powerful Edward. Which is fine by me. Your Darkward, with his long black coat (love the title and connection) oozes confidence and sexiness.

He smokes, huh? And has a scar on his pretty face? (Sacrilege!)

I saw this rec'd on ADF by Camila. I love vamp fic so I'm very happy to read this! Thank you for being brave enough to share your writing!
jujubakiller chapter 5 . 1/18/2013
Bella doesn't seem to be right in the head. Lol.
jujubakiller chapter 4 . 1/18/2013
Very iteresting... is there something supernatural about Bella? Os is she just an incredibly inteligent human? I'm looking forward to finding out.
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