|Reviews for Whatever Floats Your Feather|
| xXRainDaze.NiilaXx chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
I like it. I don't know wether I see any NightXScorch, but they would be great friends!
She sounds just the tiniest bit emo… :P
| Hazel The Ninja chapter 1 . 1/16/2013
Aww! Its a great story :). A nice chunk of detail and the characters were built up really well.
| Holly of the Night chapter 1 . 12/30/2012
Shrewfoot seemed friendly with her.
It mentioned she was the only one without a mate, but Ferretclaw must be single too, if he said there was another she-cat who had her eye on him? Did Nightslinker try to make friends, or did she give up before trying because of her looks?
Nightslinker acts like she's the only loner, but not even a few lines later we learn Scorchfur is as much a loner as her, friendless possibly. So doesn't she feel companionship or hope over the fact she's not the only "odd one" in the bunch?
I think she gives herself into pity too easily.
And she mentions she doesn't remember any cat hanging around often to chat longer then they needed to, but that's probably because Nightslinker pushes everyone away before they can talk to her properly o_-"
As a whole, I thought the story was nice. The scene was cute between Scorchfur and Nightslinker. Her character was very interesting; my favorite part is the passage about how she got the name Nightslinker. She reminded me of Jayfeather, Purdy and Brokentail combined XD
The other characters had a nice background Nightslinker fleshed out.
| The Last Moongazer chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
Awww...so adorable...you should make another fic, like an epilogue to this one!
As for grammar mistakes, there's only a couple of errors whenever you're using dialogue. Just so you know, when a character is talking, and you're describing how they're talking between two sentences, you don't capitalize the regular text.
Also, I don't really think cats know what perverted means...I dunno, in the books, none of them have a huge vocabulary. I swear, the most complex word they've ever used is enterprise. :-\
And, in case you didn't know, there are certain prefixes and suffixes that you aren't supposed to use in names, like the first part of the Clan names. So, the prefix Shadow- wouldn't actually be used...
But aside from that, it's really nice. I think I'll favorite it! Keep it up!
| ponyiowa chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
[At the moment, she was wrestling with Owlclaw... the light brown, muscular, strong, handsome, serious, intriguing tabby tom.]
Way too many adjectives. You're making him sound like a Gary-Stu. P;
[Besides, I ate a sunhigh already."]
[Besides, I ate at sunhigh already."]
["Dawnpelt is very pretty." I meowed stiffly.]
I'm not sure if putting a period where a comma might go was on purpose, but it's slightly weird to have her say that, and then meow stiffly. Meh, I'm not sure. :/
[I'd noticed him giving Dovewing sappy looks at every Gathering I've been to, in all my fifteen moons of life.]
Okay, I haven't read any of your other fics, and I'm beginning to gather that this is a spin-off off your other fic. (Right?) So, I have no clue as to what happened in that fic, but I know from here that she's a elder trapped in a young she-cat's body. If she's an elder, she should have lived more than fifteen moons. I guess you're referring to the young she-cat's life, but it would make more sense to say the number of moons that Shadowslinker's lived.
["Hey! Stop it!" My attacker hissed irritably. "I didn't know it was you, Shadowslinker!"]
Again, I'm not sure if you meant to capitalize "My" on purpose, or if it was a mistake.
[I blinked a few times, my eyes adjusting to the relative darkness of the shadows after the brightness of the lake.]
All right, she's still at the shore. So, when she moved away from Ferretclaw, did she pass into the shade of an oak tree? This confused me because you didn't mention anything like that. *shrugs*
["Good riddance." I snapped, turning away again.]
All right, she couldn't have "snapped" without any dialogue, unless she broke. Which she didn't. So, it would be:
["Good riddance," I snapped, turning away again.]
["Um... there's a feather on your head." He said, clearly embarrassed.]
It would be"
["Um... there's a feather on your head," he said, clearly embarrassed.]
["T-thanks." I stammered.]
It would be:
["T-thanks," I stammered.]
I'm done pointing out the mistakes; now, I shall tell you my favorite parts. :D
[It really was fascinating, how the morning sun sent reflections dancing across the water like butterflies...]
Whoa, this created a really pretty image in my mind. Nice job!
["Brilliant day." Immediately, I wanted to claw myself. Who says that to someone? 'Brilliant day'? If I was getting this tongue-tied with some random tom that I barely knew, I had some serious issues.]
I lol'd. XD After I read it the first time, I read it again with a British accent. :P
Oooh, so is their relationship going to be in your other fic, too?
This was wonderful to read, and there weren't many mistakes, which a lot of Warriors fanfics have many of these days. The sentences flow easily together, and the characters aren't just words on the paper; they have a "real" personality. Great job! :D
-Nightstar of WillowClan
| The Gone Angel chapter 1 . 12/25/2012
I think this is sweet...and adorable. *dies of cuteness*
| Whatsy chapter 1 . 12/11/2012
This is such a good story! I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT! At last, someone has made a story about ShadowClan lovers :D I shall look out for your other stories!