|Reviews for Coffee|
| Captured Moon chapter 1 . 5/27/2014
I love that they still hold onto their Saiyaman costumes even after retiring. Very adorable one-shot! Your characterization of Videl was great. I could see her dropping a random proposal question.
Thanks for posting!
| gue22 chapter 1 . 5/8/2013
When she dropped that proposal on him I absolutely sputtered in my seat as well. Loved it! I could really feel the chill in the air frm ur writing despite the fact that its so hot here today that im back to reading stories in my undies.
A wonderfully written, very suttle but definately mature romance.
Glad I found this XD
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/9/2013
| Saiyajin-Love chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
First the critique then the things I liked. It’s like the bad news first, then good :D Anyways,
‘They chattered happily, some taking gulps of the drinks they ordered.’ That line was a bit confusing. For a second, I thought it was Videl and Gohan who had already began drinking. Which leads me into what I’m about to ask next. Well it’s kind of related to the overall critique I have.
I nitpick things so I have to say, shouldn’t the ding dong have occurred as soon as the door was opened and they saw those people there. Or were Videl and Gohan originally staring at the door and saw people enter/exiting before they entered themselves? I did have a tough time envisioning it as you can see. I felt that at the beginning the scene could’ve had a bit more descriptions. You had enough and you almost perfectly had balanced in the right amount of details, but it wasn’t enough to not have me point it out. The ambiance could’ve been described a lot better. You definitely got the part with her being enticed by the delectable aromas floating out from the shop, its warmth capturing her cold nose. And I enjoyed the eagerness displayed by Videl. Also, it does seem that you may’ve rushed some of the dialogue. It could’ve been spaced out a bit more. Maybe her thoughts or even her gestures could’ve been mentioned a bit more. And, you do tend to overuse commas. XD *knows so b/c she does it herself*
"I still remember back in high school, she'd get a boyfriend every other week or something, or quicker.” I had no idea what you meant by quicker. It was a confusing word choice and made me think, “eh?”. Like... I had to reread it to realize you meant sooner. Like she’d get a boyfriend every other week. Sometimes it’d take her even less time than that! - Something like that would’ve been easier to understand.
‘Pants’ Gohan had said that. I think you meant boxers. I was like what? XD, then oh when I got what you were talking about.
Lastly, when Videl posed that question about proposing . It really surprised me. But there is a good surprise and a bad surprise. Yours leaned more towards good, but I still felt a little bit that it may’ve been too abrupt. I get she was dwelling in the atmosphere, taking up all the lovely feelings basking in the room but what would’ve made that perfect if she had met his eyes full of those sweet emotions.. Then she had the most serious expression when she asked bluntly blah blah blah. You could even make it seem as if she was a bit jealous of the lovely couples around. Which would add a bit more depth to Videl’s character.
Now, I actually really liked it! Your characterization of Videl and Gohan are very accurate! :D This one-shot definitely captured my interest in the beginning and before I knew it, I had read it in no time! I actually want more. And everyone knows I don’t normally read anything Gohan x Videl. But I can’t deny the cuteness that took a hold of me XD You’ve definitely improved Goshen! Keep up the good work :D
| Kai Galaxy chapter 1 . 1/15/2013
I have to say, this gem brought a smile to my face. I love this couple and when I stumbled upon this one-shot I had to click on it. To say the least, I loved this.
| Vaccant Account chapter 1 . 12/24/2012
This was so cute Shen! I can see this really happening. xD
| 1 Hungry Werewolf chapter 1 . 12/20/2012
My favorite part was Gohan's reaction when Videl asked if he was going to propose to her. Gohan was soooooo cuuuuute!
| Dbzlover500 chapter 1 . 12/16/2012
Wow, good one-shot. I love how they just went back to the past and talked about old memories. And I really liked the ending...just like the old times. lol
great job, keep on writing more stories!
| Ayamari Uta chapter 1 . 12/13/2012
Really cool! Enjoying this... *Rubs hands together in an 'evil' manner* Ha ha ha, you are so getting back in the DBZ fandom. :D
Anyway, I like it. I like it how you added Angela in this. Hey, sugar is not that bad. :P
Lol, "dirty" thoughts. And I am still laughing at how Gohan had those underwear.
Cute how Videl was joking and Gohan took it seriously. xD Ah Gohan.
Anyways, loved the ending too. It is really cool how they sorta just went back to the past. :)
| dcp1992 chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
Great story! Loved it, it was very original. loved the talking too and the end when they were going to save the day again. Would love to maybe see another story (or more) of Gohan and Videl in this timeline. Maybe a Christmas one or something or one where Gohan really dose propose to Videl, and maybe one when Pan is born; so many possible one-shot squeal ideas for this. Hope to, maybe, see a squeal sometime; or just another Gohan/Videl story!
| KaosMoshpit chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
Really original iv never read anything with a similar plot very well done
| Lilly-sama chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
What a lovely, fluffy, cute oneshot. I love those snapshot-like stories, and yours is (unsurprisingly) very well-written, and kept them both in character. Great work.
| DarkVoid116 chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
The *hint hint* *nudge nudge* *wink wink* isn't necessary to get me to review Shen :P
This was soooooooooooooooo fluffy. If I could pull off Sierra's facekeyboard, I would. It would just look dumb coming from me, though.
I really enjoyed this, especially the line where Videl asked about a potential proposal. It made my insides all warm & happy. Excellent job Shen
| lancecomwar chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
Awwwwwww fluffy bunnies
| chaos267 chapter 1 . 12/12/2012
Interesting its good writing i would really like to see a fanfic on the years after Buu thats closish to what it could of been in cannon