|Reviews for The Prince of Time|
| Astraea802 chapter 5 . 5/23/2013
So, sorry this took so long XD.
Part of the reason I didn't review this one right away was because I wasn't sure what to think of it when I first read it. Reading it again, I'm still trying to puzzle it out. This isn't a bad thing, actually. I've often found that the best stories are ones with multiple levels, even when they are a bit challenging.
First, after three chapters of pretty linear events, it seemed strange to start with Hank, Liir ,and August in the mines all of a sudden. I don't know why, and I don't think you should dramatically change it or take it out. I guess maybe what I was confused about was the amount of time between the events of Chapter three and this chapter. Or maybe I was surprised you had a dark, introspective chapter like this so early in the story. That plus the fact that I don't know why August is there and he doesn't show up next chapter may have just made this a weird chapter for me. Would you consider switching the placement of Chapters 5 and 6 or would that be too weird?
I do love a lot of the ideas you introduce here. Liir in particular introduces a very interesting element into the story. He's one of those characters whom I wouldn't necessarily be friends with but find fascinating to read about. I think he's a good balance for Hank – someone who knows what's going on, unlike the other characters in the story, and is on the side of good (or at least following Henry, which is always good), but who also questions Hank's decisions, particularly on whether they should change established events or not. In fact, I'm surprised how convincingly you wrote Liir's point of view on Hank and his family's morals, considering how you usually portray Henry/Hank as in the right, so props for that! Plus, Hank and Liir discussing their misguided mothers is always fun (“What, didn't your mother have a few frivolities beneath her castle?”)
I'm also glad that you're incorporating the discussion on killing and revenge that's been going on in canon in a new way in this story. I do feel like killing when aroused in battle, killing in self-defense, is entirely different from mediating and killing in cold blood (especially the way Snow ended up doing it in the show) – afterall, there's a reason why killing in self-defense is judged and punished less severely than premeditated murder. There's an entirely different psychological mindset. But I can see why Liir doesn't feel that way, and why Henry also doesn't feel the need to correct him, and am interested to see how you expand on this in future chapters.
All in all, you're setting up some great stuff here, I'm just not sure if this and Chapter 6 were placed quite right in the narrative. Keep up the good work!
| reader chapter 6 . 4/13/2013
Please update this soon. I can't wait to see what happens next.
| thequeenstolemyheart chapter 6 . 3/25/2013
I really like this story! Can't wait till the next update.
| Guest chapter 6 . 3/25/2013
just a suggestion but maybe you could bring regina from the future back to storybrook to tell herny (hank) off about messing around with space and time and all that shit and go all mothering on him
| blossom.prince chapter 6 . 3/24/2013
This is pretty damn good I hope u update pretty soon
| Fanfiction Bard chapter 6 . 3/24/2013
Great chapter! I like how you made the magic and mythology of the Once Upon a Time Universe. Nice touch with bringing Mulan and Aurora back. I can't wait to see the look on Gold's face when he realizes Henry is his grandson! Update soon!
| yuiop chapter 6 . 3/23/2013
| Fanfiction Bard chapter 5 . 3/23/2013
Interesting chapter! I like the friendship between Hank and Liir, how they don't always agree with each other, but they still stand by the other unconditionally. I can't wait to see what happens next. Update soon!
| WolfieRed23 chapter 5 . 3/22/2013
Update fast! Love this story!
| Mere-Brennan chapter 5 . 3/18/2013
yay! cant wait!
| Fanfic Fan chapter 4 . 3/16/2013
Okay, there comes a time when not continuing fanfics as good as this just gets old.
| Astraea802 chapter 4 . 3/8/2013
Ooh, lot's of good stuff this chapter despite it being mostly exposition. But it's needed, so yeah. I liked Henry hugging Regina when she came in, that was nice. And interesting how you've set up the conflict - the Dark One being named, something so scary even the Blue Fairy is freaking out (by the way, glad you don't seem to be vilifying her. I've seen a lot of posts and fics that really seethe against her when she hasn't really done anything that horrible in canon). Again, I really like how Hank talks to Henry and to everyone else, authoritative yet gentle. Loved the reference to how screwy poor Henry's family tree is, and Hank telling Emma that Neal really isn't a bad guy - interested in seeing how you pull off the family reunion in your version. Finally, magic lessons for Henry! (grins) Can't wait for the next post!
| maddy chapter 4 . 2/27/2013
lol I cant even imagine whats going to happen but I know its gona be gooooooooooood
| Loverofallthingscharming chapter 1 . 2/26/2013
I have loved this! Its one of the stories I look forward to reading all the time !:)
| chicapee90 chapter 4 . 2/26/2013
As promised:) I actually don't normally read this type of story but the title caught my eye and then I read the description and I could not pass the story up and well I would have read through all 4 chapters early this morning but work called. I reread part 4 again this evening and now I can't wait for the next chapter. Keep up the good work while I go read ur other stories:)