It was really interesting to see someone who obviously shared a lot of thoughts on some of the weaknesses in the Twilight characters. Jasper as a character fascinates me. I've considered writing a story around him myself but haven't worked my way up to it. Jasper is definitely a character that could be shifted either into the darkness or the light with just a little tweaking. Edward is a creep in the original Twilight sneaking into her bedroom and watching her sleep, the whole abandonment and controlling thing, the thoughtless exhibitionist suicide attempt that would likely have ended up with every member of his family slaughtered (jump in lava or something dude) and Bella is kind of twisted too: self deprecating but controlling,... Alice was okay in the original but you needed a villain and her gift is rather extreme. I understand the whole just leave the werewolves out of it thing. I think from the books the part that speaks best to the shiny veneer over darkness that is the Cullens is the young vampire they watched the Italians murder after they said they would spare her if she surrendered.

Renee was lucky that Nan didn't tip the gravy over her head.

I'm picturing Edward as a fairy and Malice as the troll under the bridge.

sexy time with Jasper, delicious!

oh, poor Eddie, he lost an arm. asshole was lucky he didn't lose his head! did he learn nothing from the James incident? Alice is another one who was lucky only losing a patch of hair, I bet she didn't see that coming, and she instigated it!

Carlisle is overstepping his boundaries by attempting to tell Jasper's MATE anything at all! where does he get off? the Cullens always have had a bad habit of sticking their noses into the others relationships with their mates when jasper is a grown man with vastly more experience being a vampire than Carlisle will ever have !

the gruesome twosome ar going to bead very soon, they won't be able to help themselves, especially Eddie , from trying to kill Bella.

Alice is a total twat and Eddie will probably run a close second.

great, now she won't have to sit with Eddie.

I really enjoyed reading your story 33333

A Canadian with a sense of humour. I think I'm obligated to like this story now, no matter what.

loved this story, thanks!

Eddie got off to easy, Alice too. Carlisle was really at fault for spoiling them both, letting them believe they could do no wrong, and always putting them first over the others.

Renee REALLY needs her ass kicked!

that was really nice of Charlie to invite people to dinner and expect Bella to do all the work. Renee needed a good backhand to the mouth.