Reviews for Star Control - Fall of the Milieu
BukaX chapter 1 . 9/4/2018
Veri n1c3B0pst0riNW
JL chapter 1 . 8/11/2015
Amazing story. What a great imagination!
Aquatic-Idealist chapter 1 . 5/4/2013
You "tell" the reader too much, and fail to "show" what is going on. A maxim in writing is "show, don't tell." This is very difficult, and many of us fail to do this, but a good way to make the story seem less like a news report or a cold, distant recital from a robot is to use the active voice. It really helps to catch the reader's attention.

Now, it's cool how you try to give voice to the Taalo, but the last scene seems rather, well, contrived. Instead of giving the Taalo a fighting chance you give the Arliou tech they shouldn't have and mess with time travel. The tone doesn't fit the tone of Star Control II all that well, or Star Control 3 (which unfortunately exists)'s either. Now it's just a story of revenge, so common.

Anyway, good luck with your story. I hope others will enjoy your tale.