Great story! I loved all the twists and turns, and I definitely thought the leak was Tank. :-) Good job with the red herring!

Good story...narrative gave the reader a rollercoaster ride of emotions and anxieties...perfect denouement

I may have reviewed this before, I don't remember! But, I've just read it again and just enjoyed it so much. Love the interaction between Danny and Melissa. Loved Danny's leadership and dedication and taking no nonsense from the lady he was protecting. I also so appreciate a well-written story like this one without misspellings and with good grammar! Thank you so much!

That was a fantastic conclusion! I was with Danny as he called out for Steve from outside the courthouse when Donovan tried to take him away. That was quite a moment with so much happening all around and no one paying attention to the danger Danny was in until Steve comes to look for him - thank goodness for his impeccable timing but, boy, was that a close one! This line was so in tune with McGarrett's character, I loved it:

Furious at this turn of developments, Steve tightened his grip on his gun. "You have nowhere to run," Steve reminded him. "This is an island and I can have it secured so tightly that a gnat would not get out without me knowing about it."

Your portrayal of the McGarrett volcano was spot-on.

Another highlight in this chapter was the light-hearted dialogue between Danny and Steve as they share a joke about the patrol car Danny "borrowed".

Finally, we find out who the leak is, Melissa and Danny are safe, Kono is recovering well and Haliburton is behind bars along with his surviving hit man. It was a nice touch to see Melissa's transformation from the spoiled, rich girl to the compassionate and mature young lady she became after her 48 hour ordeal. I'm glad she finally learned the true value of appreciation and friendship. The last few lines were also nice.

"Smiling, Steve patted his arm and left. There would be plenty of time to tell him about the trial tomorrow."

Perfect line to a terrific ending of an excellent story.

I see your your muse was kinder to Danny in this tale :-) Seriously, while I very much enjoyed reading your Danny H/C stories, this was a nice change.

Mahalo!

Very suspenseful! I liked how Chin is the voice of reason and wisdom as he supports Steve through this tough predicament. Great writing! I also liked the scene between Melissa and Danny - always the gentleman, Danny still tries to remain calm and collected as he reassures a frightened and frustrated Melissa who has been brought down from her pedestal and all luxuries taken away. I hope, by the end of their ordeal, she will really learn how to appreciate those who have done everything they could to keep her safe from harm.

Some solid detective work and forensics by Che in this chapter. A good read.

Thrilling chapter! Poor Kono. Saving Danny's and Melissa's lives at the risk of his own is something very characteristic of him to do. You've done a great job on his character. I've noticed the more you write for the series, you've grown more confident with refining your work, which includes Kono's pidgin dialogue. While at the moment it's still a little inconsistent as sometimes you have him speaking pidgin and other times he doesn't, you're making a sound effort and it makes your stories even more enjoyable to read as Kono's voice can be heard through your words. Examples include "da" instead of "the". Sometimes you have him say "da" while other times he is still saying "the". Apart from that, I really enjoy reading your stories and you're getting better and better the more you write :-)

Loved the light touches of humor where Danny imagines about how a warrant for his arrest will be waiting for him. This is in contrast with the scene between Chin and Kimo aka Pedro. Chin being a devoted and loyal husband and father while Kimo is the complete opposite - good choice on having Chin be the one to question the hustler.

Great chapter! So Tank is a suspect for being a leak and crooked cop. Looking forward to reading more of this.

Another excellent chapter. I particularly loved how you have nailed Danny's character - he would protect Melissa with his life no matter how annoying and unbearable she was because that is what makes him who he is. Great job! This just gets better.

Ah...a fine ending to an enjoyable story! I'm glad that Melissa has changed for the better after this experience. And Danny, so professional, so brave is okay. After he's rested up, I'm sure you will have more adventures for him. Thanks for the great entertainment! :)

OMG cliff hanger alert! Intense. Fantastic. A great chapter to read. I only wish I had the time to read this story through to the end in one sitting!

Oh, poor Danny! So close that he can see the Palace, but he doesn't dare contact Steve! Perhaps Steve will be able to feel Danny's presence close by. Sometimes he seems to have a sixth sense (he calls it "cop instinct"). Very good story telling!

Another exciting chapter. I can feel Danny's fatigue and worry about Kono as well as Steve's anxiety over Danny sill missing. Good to hear that HPD is clean of bugs. And here's hoping that Melissa really has changed for the better! Looking forward to your next chapter.

Excellent chapter. Steve's impatience was described perfectly. It was great to see Che helping out. I assume this story takes place early in the series sometime in season 1 perhaps since May is the secretary. There aren't many stories with her in it so it is a nice change. The plot is moving along nicely and the story just gets better as you update. Reads just like a Five-O episode.
BTW that was me reviewing chapter one under the joint account "Five-O Fanatics". My phone was still logged on to that account - sorry!