|Reviews for Curse of the Phoenix|
| tamashiyuki chapter 8 . 12/23/2013
| Make war not love. war is fun chapter 8 . 11/4/2013
interesting story tho is he still affected with the phoniex curse?
| Dawn of Erised chapter 4 . 10/16/2013
Your story doesn't seem to make sense. Harry's just moved, and so no one knows him. But Edward has been left broken hearted - no matter how much he says he's over Bella and suddenly Harry is handing out blood pops and the only slightly in character is Rosalie?
You need to look at your character situation, then think about what they'd do when certain things happen. For instance a random boy knowing who and what they are is going to cause the Cullen's alarm not have them sitting next to Harry on the first day.
If you wanted interaction between the Cullen's and Harry then have them not notice each other at the start, but Harry sits at their table during lunch forcing them all to interact, while in low tones the Cullen's discuss Harry. Now Harry's immortal not a we'rewolf or vampire so he wouldn't know what the Cullen's were saying.
The 'slow' relationship between Harry and Edward is too fast. They should become friends first. Not have Edward say something along the lines of 'I am interested in you but since I've broken up with my long term girl friend I want to go slow.'. With Harry replying 'sure thing,' then both giving the other a short chaste kiss within the first few months of meeting. Let's not make Twilight worse.
Also stick to a point of view, don't change it so we read the same thing from two different perspectives. Whose side would be more interesting? Then stick with that POV for the chapter, of not the story. Read To Kill a Mocking bird or The Mediater series to see a POV that is in first person - written wonderfully better than Meyers ever could - and to see how neither changes the POV even though other perspectives may be interesting to read about.
Stick to a tense, are we reading the story as it's already happened? Will you be using past tense? If so then consider changing to third person, otherwise if you're writing in the present tense then stick to it, try not to use I too often, I'd rather read in third person as its easier to understand that way, doesn't make the story seem as though it's written by a 7 year old, or at least 3rd person gives a story more depth into other characters than 1st.
Overall it's a good plot line you just need to sit back and read through your chapters. Before you wrote a new one. If anything makes you. Cringe or wince or just doesn't seem right, change it. You could make this story into a master piece.
I wish you luck and please don't take this as a flame. If you want me to expand on anything, or you feel I'm wrong then by all means PM me with reasons and I will reply in kind :-)
| rmiser1994 chapter 8 . 10/10/2013
Great story so far .
| jgood27 chapter 8 . 10/2/2013
Love this story and can't wait to read more
| Charlie0925 chapter 8 . 9/22/2013
Wow, Bella sure is delusional huh?
Cannot wait to read more! ;o)
| Kuramaworshiper chapter 8 . 9/19/2013
plz plz plz update soon.
| Yuki.yaoi1 chapter 8 . 9/17/2013
I liked this chapter I'm glad you updated :)
| HarryPotter'sCharmedTwilight chapter 8 . 9/17/2013
Great chapter... I can't wait to see Bella get her's...
Update again soon!
| Angel4EverLostInLife chapter 8 . 9/17/2013
More please! XD
| Wishfull-star chapter 8 . 9/17/2013
that was great oh I hope bella dies in the fight she is such a bitch I cant see her surviving:) love it cant wait for what happens next:)
| Lady Kaiki chapter 8 . 9/17/2013
Awesome chapter ! Plz, update soon !
| candy4beth chapter 7 . 9/1/2013
| Charlie0925 chapter 7 . 7/27/2013
Loving this and cannot wait to read more! ;o)
| emthereble chapter 7 . 5/9/2013