|Reviews for Swords of the Living Dead|
| Guest chapter 6 . 2/28
I'm not going to go through and review the particulars of your writing style, but I do have a few general suggestions (and some specific requests!) for you.
-consider switching perspectives a little more freely to suit the action of the story, and/or stop having time progress so quickly. I'm missing out on a lot of interesting action and there's no way to get it back other than flashbacks. Every character has changed both in personality and ability throughout the course of this story, but the only character who's change I've actually been able to see is Sinon. What about Kirito (he's a bit under the weather, depressed, and generally ripe for character development)? Asuna? What's Silica-chan doing?
-I wanna see the zombie aspect of this fic actually count for something. Mostly because I really like the idea of Kirito engaging in epic duels with high-leveled zombified parties/players. p Maybe even a necromancer type enemy that can direct the actions of player zombies (which respawn every day, I recall)?
-despite this being a generally darker fic than the original SAO, I am NOT getting even the slightest sense of danger, and precious little emotion (your characters occasionally sound like the same jaded, sarcastic person, although it could be a lot worse). Show me some fear and horror with the semigory near death experiences, plox! Just to give you an idea of what I mean: no one has died since Diabel. Agil is paralyzed with a boss right in front of him, prepared to attack, and his response is "Oh, come on!". Sinon has a similar near death experience and her response is minor annoyance and a witty remark about her aim being diminished. If that's what you're going for, that's OK, but I like the idea of a darker, heartrending fic, especially since zombies are especially suited for that.
-There are a lot of different ideas and plot lines started now, none of which have even begun to be resolved. You're already at the 1/4 mark...further if you want to game to end early with Kayaba's death. Consider sketching a very rough outline for what you want to happen and when, so that you don't find yourself on floor 60 with seven unresolved subplots.
-I know that you've started a lot of ideas and arcs that you still have to do something with, but if you have time, I'd be interested to see the world explored a bit more. Is there teleportation in this game? How do you travel between areas? Is the place just one massive continent? Does this world have a backstory? Are there going to be unique zombie types capable of tactics or generally being awesome? Tournament-style PvP? Extra skill trees? Those totally awesome cursed weapons you thought up?
-This is entirely personal, and maybe not even a good idea, but I like the idea of Kirito having a nemesis in this series. Someone every bit as skilled as he is, and maybe more so. I tend to be a sadistic writer, so I like seeing my protagonists pushed to their limits, and sometimes to their breaking point. Of course, in a SAO fanfic, most probably don't want to see Kirito getting beaten down, but...PoE has the potential to be a very interesting character. (;
Oh, yeah, and I should probably mention. I've LOVED your writing so far. It's unique and interesting with loads of room for growth in exciting new directions. I may have a lot of criticisms, but that in itself is a compliment, since I don't finish most of the stories that I pick up. So, keep up the good work! (
| Draco Oblivion chapter 8 . 1/29
Hahahahha wow, that idiot Kirito is too bloody nice! xD
Nice to see Kirito own that douche Kibaou, shame that he wasn't found dead or broken though :(
This chapter is beyond awesome and intense! It's really made me fall in love with some of these more minor characters so even if I saw it coming when he wasn't with the rest I hate you for making Phileas play hero!
Not completely sure what happened at the end, did she kill Kibaou?
| Draco Oblivion chapter 7 . 1/29
Hahaha Kibaou's getting what he deserves. I guess even with the support of the guild if he loses his reputation with every other guild he will eventually lose his standing. Hopefully he won't do anything too stupid or dangerous in response to being backed into a corner like that.
| Draco Oblivion chapter 6 . 1/28
Kind of loving this, appreciate the fact that Sinon's getting her own little followers :3
| Draco Oblivion chapter 5 . 1/28
Damn, when will that bastard Kibaou die! This is precisely why I don't feel large groups of sober people are worth the effort of being around!
| Draco Oblivion chapter 4 . 1/28
Aw, I always have to respect a martyr but I always kind of wish they'd wise up and act a little more selfish, hopefully PoH will help Kirito do that :P
| Draco Oblivion chapter 3 . 1/28
God damn it! I REALLY hate Kibaou, he's such a troll! Can't someone just target him for a MPK? :/
Other than that loving everyone, kind of worried for Sinon though. Wouldn't have had to do it if she didn't have to deal with other people, how annoying :(
| Draco Oblivion chapter 2 . 1/28
Haha pretty much loving this fic. Everyone's awesome and yeah the grittiness of your world just adds to the excitement. Also happy to see awesome characters other than Kirito since that was my problem with the novels :P
| Guest chapter 8 . 1/22
| Scootafreak chapter 1 . 1/18
Yay! Everyone dies!
| WOOOOOOOW chapter 1 . 1/18
I love this story! I wish it had no end to it! so yeah pat yourself on the back you did a good job. :D
| Silver Water 7 chapter 8 . 1/18
Nice! I love your Sinon! I can't wait to read more! Keep up the fantastic work and update soon.
| Lord Sia chapter 8 . 1/9
| Uraharaisgod chapter 8 . 1/8
Aww, Phileas went out like a badass.
Quite an interesting story, would be awesome to see more updates. Still found it curious that Kayaba made his move so early in this story, was he actually waiting in the Sewers at the start because it was the Spawn Point for the Hecate? Was he there to make sure if any proved capable of claiming it, he could guide them out safely and leave an impression to join him later when he started his Guild?
Did you have any plans for anymore Cursed Weapons besides the Hecate rifle? It would have been an interesting idea if Kirito's Midnight Cloak had been a Cursed Armour in the same manner, rather poignant as the Beater if his armour itself was locked on him. Is it actually possible to remove the Cursed Weaponry if you *destroy* the equipment?
| Tellemicus Sundance chapter 1 . 12/31/2013
I suppose it's pointless to be worth asking at this point, but is Asuna in this story? Then again, she doesn't technically show up until a month's time into the game and this is only day one. So I suppose her absence is easily excusable.
That aside, you're definitely doing something creative and original. This story kinda reminds me of that other story 'Fairy Dance of Death', same basic concept of changing the world into something else. However yours is much closer to the canon version thus far when compared to that one. Regardless, I somewhat like what I'm seeing so far and wouldn't mind reading further. I just hope that you've either maintained or improved on the already-impressive story you're working with here.