|Reviews for I Knew You Were Trouble|
| Random Reader chapter 1 . 10/5/2013
Interesting concept that I see having potential for a longer story. One thing that was a rather weird annoyance is that in the beginning, you have Jake's mom dying about a year or so before, but then at the end of the story, it says she died almost a decade ago. The time frames don't match up, and the thought of a 7 year old mercenary is rather disturbing.
| KatFromMars chapter 1 . 2/25/2013
I LOVE IT! i can't wait for the next chapt.! :D
| Emil Lime chapter 1 . 1/26/2013
I really, really, really liked this one-shot! I'm so sad that you aren't making it a chapter length story. There's so much you could do with it!
My one critisim is the fact that Jake is a mercenary that works 'around the world'. I can see how it would happen, what with him knowing someone who would take him to a different country to do a job, but I don't feel it's as realistic as if he were simply a gang member or a hired fighter in California. Regardless of this, I still liked the aspect of him being a person for hired and that you stayed very close to what his life is like in the game. The fact that you included his mistrust of people and his trust of money really made him life-like.
I liked how you portrayed Sherry and her family and I really liked the idea that she would have to move around a lot (if you were to continue this wonderful one-shot, you could have their research come to light and something happen with that or, if you so choose, you could have an outbreak in the school. Just saying. I wouldn't mind if that jock guy died. I wanted sherry to punch him, honestly). It made her detachment and lack of interest in people believable and then, consequently, when Jackie offers to be her friend, Sherry's almost anxious reaction was very real. I really did enjoy that portrayal of Sherry and I felt it was very canon. I can see her being someone who doesn't try to make friends and you painted that up real well. The only thing I felt was wrong-and this is because your story is a one-shot-was how fast she came to accept Jackie and Jake. The one-shot wouldn't have been as good if she didn't become their friends but it does feel rushed considering she really doesn't want to make friends (hey, something you could change if this were a chapter fic ;) ).
As for the environment of high school, you portrayed that wonderfully. It has been a couple years since I was in high school (college is my turf now) but your depiction really reminded me of how crappy high schoolers are. Very real and very convincing.
I freaking loved how you had Sherry almost 'imagine' what was being said. Like the thing about hearing about a new girl in homeroom but not really catching it because of being obsessed with looking at herself in her phone. That was hilarious! (I would love a re-write of this one-shot strictly from a first person Sherry pov. Incorporating her thoughts about people and the things they do would be wonderful to read and since you already capture Sherry so well, I think you'd do a good job writing it from her perspective. That kind of non-chalant and almost unconscious train of thought you gave Sherry was brilliant and could really be utilized in a first person pov).
I did love the scene of how Jake and Sherry first formally meet. The piano and the apples stacked on top was a wonderful writing move and teases some at the game. Isn't it twinkle twinkle little star Sherry plays if you have we play the piano instead of Jake? Anyway, that was a wonderful scene and felt like it was straight out of a romance movie, only you didn't drown it in cheese and sexy glances. It was romantic and yet realistic at the same time! I loved it!
I'm so very sad that this fic isn't more than just a one-shot, as it has so much potential! It was well written and the only errors I saw were ones that proof reading a couple more times would take care of. You wrote Jake and Sherry very well, you write ocs well (Jackie was believable ad very relatable, at least for me) and you did a good job at pacing the events of this one-shot. I encourage you to consider this fanfic and the world of it a little more. It has serious potential to be a fantastic chapter fic!
Great job and, regardless of if you choose to make this longer or not, I still enjoyed it! Thanks for posting it!
| NAmesdontmatter chapter 1 . 1/14/2013
As expected from you,such a nice shake fic! Update soon,i hope you'll change the rating to M
| Antiqua-hime17 chapter 1 . 12/29/2012
So damn cute :D
| Mrs.Ukki chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
Complete? you can't! what will happen next?ç_ç
| MissGigglesx3 chapter 1 . 12/23/2012
This is lovely! Shame it's only a oneshot, but I still love it nonetheless c: 3
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/18/2012
This was really great and can't wait to see how this progressess
| HelenaKennedy chapter 1 . 12/18/2012
Are there gonna be more chapters?
Because im really curious as to whats coming up next. The story is really good and i will always support sherry and jake forever! _
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
I like this story. Love Jake/Sherry probably more than Leon/Ada. I was also amazed when I first heard Jake play the piano very well in RE6 LOL. More Chapters PLEASE!
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
Great story! keep going please!
| Boss-Awesome chapter 1 . 12/19/2012
This was great, I mean really great.
| Ayunat chapter 1 . 12/18/2012
good start, please keep going :)
| 61wisampa chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
okay, this is a really nice start :DD i actually thought that Jackie was Claire when you described her first-some author's depict her hair as brown instead of red-so i was a bit disappointed that it wasn't XDD not for too long though. i like Jackie's character :)
i hope you'll update soon :)))