|Reviews for Trigger|
| KShadeslady chapter 3 . 3/9
I really like this one. I hope you and your muse pick up this story line again.
| mtnikolle chapter 3 . 11/7/2013
What an intriguing premise and story!
| maray chapter 2 . 8/26/2013
I love this story already, so pliz update it soon!
And thank you very much for it.
| Nai-Reedus chapter 3 . 8/23/2013
I need more!
| BoredGirl17 chapter 3 . 8/22/2013
No I want to take up pole dancing. You took flirting to a whole new level for Sesshomaru and Kagome.
| LoveInTheBattleField chapter 3 . 8/21/2013
So late, great chapter. Please update the next chapters quick, keep it coming.
| Sakurawallflower chapter 2 . 3/9/2013
This is a really cool story and an awesome plot keep it up please
| Cayah chapter 1 . 2/24/2013
pleaseee, update soon! :) I hope you didn't abandon this story, it's almost March already :o
| princess-snow510 chapter 2 . 1/16/2013
| LoveInTheBattleField chapter 2 . 1/11/2013
Keep it coming, Happy New Year!
| Angelus chapter 2 . 1/10/2013
OH MY GOSH A MONTH? Pleaaase I need moaaar. :(
| 21me21 chapter 2 . 1/10/2013
Great job! Can't wait for the next chapter :)
| victoriarogue chapter 2 . 1/10/2013
This was a pretty good chapter. There's some comic relief involved, which takes away from the serious details of the plot, and that could serve as a realistic view for the story. Reality is more relatable than fantasy. Alright, so on to the constructive criticism:
I'm glad you used line breaks to separate your scenes. They create a much better flow to the story. The only problem I have with the line breaks is with scenes 3 and 4. I think it might've been better to connect them since Sesshomaru and Kagome are going to the same place to eat breakfast before work. You also forgot to mention where they work and what they work as. I'm guessing they're cops, but if they deal with demons/youkai, what kind of cops? What's the name of their agency? What does each character specialize in? All these help give a description of who is what and why.
Also, try to describe where everyone is. The battlefield thing isn't a big problem because half the time a battlefield in the past is on a barren wasteland, a desert, or a forest. But you can pick out the details in someone's armor, horse, or even show the reader if there's blood or cadavers lying around somewhere. Some demons are capable of flying. Were there flying demons taking their human enemies sky high and dropping them like potato bags? I like to see heads decapitated in battle. Do heads roll?
Now with the city scenes where your characters interact, it's a little bit harder to describe where they are because there's so much going on in a city. You limited it down to their living areas and them parking somewhere. How did Kagome get her job if she's still living with her parents? I'm assuming she lives with someone if she doesn't have room for her books alone? Did they park outside of their work facility or the company lot? That's something to consider. Where are the company cars that Kagome talks about?
I think that's about it. This is a really long review anyway. I probably sound so harsh. But can't wait for the next chapter. I'm sure you'll do great!
| Cayah chapter 2 . 1/10/2013
I already love it! Can't wait for the next chapters and patience has never been a strong point of mine, but it's good that you already said you'll be updating once in a month, so we won't think you've abandoned this story.
Until next month! :)
| victoriarogue chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
Your story read fairly well. It keeps your interest going right to the end. The only advice I have to offer is the use of line breaks really; although, I don't believe you honestly have to. If you think about it, when you read a book the prologue is usually separated from the first chapter. By you having a prologue, it needs some separation from the current times of the first chapter. That's about all the constructive criticism I can give, so I look forward to you updating in the near future.