|Reviews for Mist of Memories|
| Googlemo chapter 28 . 7/18
Ok, Im done with this story, this is how puretrash fics look like, a fcking canon rehash!
Im wtf?! There is ZERO originality to this story, you didn't even try to include some original content about Luffies thoughts and dialogues that wasn't in Manga or Anime... And why the fck you answer reviews inside this fic?! USE A PM for Gods sake...
Gum Gum in your ass, at least use japanese version and not a braindead western one.
And don't get me started on repeating yourself over and over and over again, I think I read Zoro being proud about his captain like 10times in this fic... at least try to express that differently...
Anyway this was one of biggest waste of time for me, retarded rehashing of canon isn't a fanfic its vomit of person who lacks any imagination, period.
| Guest chapter 12 . 7/4
I love your story! The little bits of analysis and your own personal theories intertwined within the plot of One Piece is well put together! Keep up the amazing writing!
| Guest chapter 39 . 6/3
Thank you never in my life would i have imaged a fanfic to help but the quote you but at the end of this chapter helped with something i have been going through it was what i needed to let go of what happen.
| caballero.d.laurent chapter 20 . 4/28
| Chrisfragger chapter 14 . 4/1
You missed the bit with Dragon saving Luffy from Smoker? That seems like an interesting thing they could have commented on.
| Chrisfragger chapter 4 . 3/31
Almost got me to mist up a bit this chapter at the end. That line "It must be nice to be around people who aren't afraid of you." That one really hit home.
| Chrisfragger chapter 3 . 3/31
I know I'm late to the game and all, and it will likely be explained but HOW are they supposed to help, if they are simply watching memories?
| Guest chapter 45 . 3/26
Your story make me want to watch one piece all over again,great job..
| SilentXD7 chapter 41 . 3/1
This is the best one piece story I have ever read. It made me cry like a little bitch and I love it. I really enjoyed reading your story.
| Protoman32x chapter 18 . 2/21
0 are own a hustler story your
| Nightspirit152 chapter 45 . 2/18
Remarkable story, your writing was amazing and most chapters were tear jerking. You are an amazing writer, and I wish you the greatest of fortune.
| Money D. Lars chapter 8 . 2/3
Please, make a story about Luffy and Sabo meeting.
And make it sad as possible.
| SiZodiac chapter 30 . 2/1
why didn't they hear Bon Clay calling for Luffy and staying by his side the whole time during the healing process. should at least give credit where it's due, especially since how relieved Bon-chan is afterwards.
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/13
This actually make sense because through the entire series the only time he interacts with kids his age is ace and luffy no kids have ever appeared in Windmill village
| Smexy Dolphin chapter 32 . 1/7
Okay since I feel like this is the story's turning point I'll say my opinion as bluntly as I can so sorry if I sound like an ass. I like your grammar and your writing style. Your spelling mistakes and such are minimal compared to a lot of things out there that I have seen. Which is really fucking great. However in the past 30 chapters had absolutely no content. By that I literally mean none. While I was reading this, it became pretty apparent that you had literally just written out Luffy's past with the occasional added commentary/line of dialogue that has no real effect or impact on the story itself. I skipped 20 chapters and wasn't surprised to see that I had missed nothing. I would suggest that if you plan to write another story like this, either cut out more of the scenes, shorten them as much as you can or do some kind of system where the straw hats have a deep and meaningful discussion after each new big reveal of Luffy's past and maybe even tweak some parts of the canonical storyline. One of the first things I learnt in advanced English is that when writing any body of text, all dialogue should have a purpose. Eg "Hi, hi, how are you? I'm good thanks. How about you? I'm great" does absolutely nothing except for draw out the story in the most boring way possible and increase your word count. Perhaps every time Luffy thinks of his crew, it is actually them calling out to him while looking at his memories. Or maybe an image of his crew flashes by in his mind whenever they are particularly stressed out while watching him. Something that symbolises their bond as a crew. Or something because otherwise this fanfiction literally becomes a recount that is extremely and painfully predictable and people like me who are already fully up to date lose interest VERY quickly. Sorry about the long and critical review but it's my honest opinion. I actually am somewhat enjoying this read by skipping several paragraphs at a time but as I said, it's quite predictable and rather boring but I'm interested to see what happens at the end which is really the only reason why I'm still here and not browsing some other work. You do have a lot of potential, as long as you work on your structuring and cutting out the unnecessary bits then you're good to go.