|Reviews for Should I be Worried?|
| MeiTenshiDarkAngel chapter 10 . 7/15/2013
GAH! this is sooo good!
I'll be watching out for the next update!
i gotta admit, i didn't think this would be that good when i first started reading it (no offense) but after the first paragraph, i had to read more!
So good! 3
3 3 3
| Angelic Fluffle chapter 10 . 7/7/2013
YAY! THANK YOU FOR UPDATING! I love this chapter, filler or not!
If I was turned into an animal and transported into FMA, I would probably have the unfortunate luck of being turned into a hamster. Maybe a cat if you imagine.
| LeFay Strent chapter 10 . 7/7/2013
Oh my God! She said 'wowzers'! That's one of my favorite non-words right there! XD
Not much happening in this chapter but I suppose it's okay to try to ramp up the inspiration. Got to get something out, right? Skylar's little rant at the end was funny at least. But man, when Ed was like, "Not my problem." I was expecting her to go lay on him or something and MAKE her his problem. Hahaha!
I don't know how much you can do with the upcoming events, considering that Skylar's a dog, but I hope you change up some things or bring some originality to it. So many people do this next part far too closely to the timeline that it becomes boring and repetitive. So I hope you mix it up a little. Shake it fast! Show me what you're working with!
Any animal, eh? Hmmm, I really want to say wolf but I bet a lot of people would pick that. How about...a snow leopard? Either that or a kangaroo just so I can see the FMA characters go, "What the frack is that?! O.o" I think I asked my sister the other day what animal she would be. She said a giraffe or a platypus...yep.
| Angelic Fluffle chapter 9 . 5/12/2013
Squee! That was really good! I loved Ed's play-by-play commentary on what he was hearing!
-Angelic Fluffle of Demonic Tendencies
| LeFay Strent chapter 9 . 5/11/2013
Haha! You used the Jimney Cricket bit! That was fun to see. And the inner arguments Skylar has with herself, and then the brothers' reactions to it cause they could hear it...priceless! Very funny, especially when Skylar was trying to think of other things and going, "lalalala!" XD
I think it would have added more to the chapter had you drawn out the brothers' shock a little more at discovering Sky's human, or was originally. Al kinda just goes with it and says the whole, "It makes sense," speech. From what I know of their characters, I think Al and Ed would have spazzed out, maybe ran around the room, and ranted a couple of times about how people can't turn into animals. They'd try to rationalize it more, probably bring up the fact that even human based chimeras aren't so flawless and that the person usually loses their mind in the process. And following that Sky probably would have bit them for considering her to be a chimera. XD But yeah, it was okay, but could have been improved upon.
I'm also not sure about this telepathic link she apparently has with the brothers through Al's blood seal. At first I was turned off by the idea because it seemed implausible. But then you brought up the really good point that Al can talk and yet he has no vocal cords to produce sound or mouth to talk with (which I've always wondered about). Then it became a little more believable. If Al can talk, why can't Sky have this telepathic connection? So I think it can be plausible. Maybe... Eh, I feel like there should be some basis for it, some reason to give the idea more ground, ya know? Like Lie made it possible or maybe she's seen the gate (and I can't remember if she has or not at the moment) and that somehow established some connection. But you may have already come up with a cool idea and will show us later and I'm just rambling for nothing.
...I'm sure there was something else I wanted to comment on but for the life of me I'm drawing a blank. I'm very sleep deprived at the moment and I was just about to go to bed when I saw that you had updated. My thoughts were like, "Eh, I'll just wait until the morning to read it...wait, Ed and Al just found out about Sky. I MUST READ IT NOOOOW!" And so I read it and I enjoyed it and now I commented on it and now I...I...I like ponies. But wouldn't it suck if there were zombie horses? I've never seen a zombie horse before. Like, of course not in real life but in movies or games. I saw one get eaten by zombies though. But not one single zombie horse. I think there's some prejudice going on for horses. It's a conspiracy I tell you. HEY! You should put zombie horses in your story! Yes I can see it now, Ed Al and Skylar walking through the tall grass when a wild zombie horse appears. Ed chooses Skylar and commands her to use her Bark Attack. Sadly, Zombie Horse is unaffected and proceeds to eat them all. Except Al, what with him being inedible...wait, Gluttony ate him once... Um, I'm not sure what my point was anymore... Just disregard everything I said.
| rabbit keys chapter 5 . 4/2/2013
brotherhood is the original storyline (follows the manga plot)
Very good. I like this a lot.
Omake was hilarious xDD
| Technochocolate chapter 8 . 3/31/2013
wow, i am so excited yay lol
looking forward 2 the next chapter
| LeFay Strent chapter 8 . 3/30/2013
Wow, this exceeded my expectations. You're writing is very detailed, both in scenery and the characters' thoughts. You've got quite a knack for writing.
So I love what you did with this. One of my favorite parts had to be when Skylar opened the door by herself and Winry was shocked so Sky just winked at her. Haha, I can imagine Winry's face. And you did really great with the reveal, going from some little things to outright non-dog behavior to make the Elrics conclude that she could understand them. Very believable and well paced. I also liked how Skylar is almost running from herself and is afraid to know the truth. I think she knows that whatever it is, it's not good, and I doubt it is either. The one thing I find that can be improved upon is how you slip into third-person PoV now and then. That's understandable if it were from the Elrics' point of view or someone else, but you occasionally mix the point of views within the same paragraph, like the one towards the end:
"Chalk. She wants chalk." Edward whispered unobtrusively, if not dubious. It was strange; he didn't know how to believe his own words. How was it that they were able to understand her? It had indeed happened a few times before – but nothing to this extent. Before, I could only communicate on whim or such, but I had just purposefully communicated exactly what I wanted.
It seems like you went from Ed's PoV to Skylar's PoV within the same paragraph. That can get rather confusing at times. I don't recommend jumping to other people's PoV when in first person. If you want to mix the PoV's a little more without stopping and pointing out each other the changes, then I recommend doing third-person for everone and whenever jumping to a different PoV you start a new paragraph as well. Sorry if this sounds confusing, I'm trying to explain in the best way possible but I'm not sure if you get what I mean. If you get nothing else out of this ramble, then just remember to be more clear on the point of view.
Now I'm wondering what she's gonna write. I kinda think she's not gonna know what to say so she's gonna write "Hi." and then face-palm. And then the guys are gonna be like, "...hi?" Or maybe she just writes her name, or...I don't know. What does a dog write to two young alchemy prodigies to let them know she's more than just a dog? Maybe she writes the word, "Human"? Arg, I want you to tell me but I want it to be a surprise! On the brightside, only a week until the next update, huh? Yay!
As for another name for Inner...it beats me. Something insulting though, cause it seems like Sky is thoroughly annoyed by Inner. Or you could have her call it Jimeny, ya know, after Jimeny Cricket, cause it's like her voice of reason at times.
Good luck with the next chapter!
| LITTLE RED FOXX chapter 8 . 3/30/2013
nooooooooo cliff hanger please please please please please please please please please please please please please continue this story!
| Angelic Fluffle chapter 8 . 3/30/2013
OMG I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! I read it like three times before posting this review and I adore it! I will be waiting with bated breath for the next chapter! -
| An Echo In Time chapter 8 . 3/30/2013
Ah, what an awesome surprise to wake up to. I was wondering where you'd gone. :)
Can't wait until the next chapter!
| Angelic Fluffle chapter 6 . 3/26/2013
Why where is your update? I'm crying Its been nearly a month and I love this story so much that I turned into a zombie penguin while waiting for the update. SOBS ARE EATING THE GENTLE TIGERS AND WAILING FROM THE BROKEN HEAVENS! ME. NEED. DIS. STORY. TO. SURVIVE!
| Angelic Fluffle chapter 7 . 3/9/2013
I love this! It has got to be one of my favorite stories ever! How many authors make their OC a dog? I wish I'd thought of it . Keep Posting!¡
| Dragonfire Alchemist chapter 7 . 3/1/2013
Your idea is unique, well thought out, very interesting, and now you've got me hooked ;) I also love that you have great spelling and grammar! Keep up the great work, please! *favorites*
| annoyed by you chapter 7 . 3/1/2013
I love this story! It is for sure, my favoritest story on this site, end of story. I can NOT wait til you post the next chapter. I can't wait for the next chapter