|Reviews for Whiskey In The Jar|
| Wereteen25 chapter 7 . 7/30/2013
I smell trouble with Kon and will grim make a appearance
| lito.dellamas chapter 7 . 3/28/2013
oh cant wait for the next chapter
| MidnightEden234 chapter 7 . 3/26/2013
D'aww... :D :D
| Grisia chapter 7 . 3/24/2013
Omg I don't know why I laughed when I think about how wrong Shiro is of Kon. I seriously can imagine Kon's reaction when he sees or finds out about Shiro. Pfft, ok sorry. Laughed too much LOL.
Anyway, I look forward to the next chapter *Grins*
| Hollow Ichigo-Ichigo chapter 7 . 3/24/2013
Awww. :D Shiro being so possesivly cute! :D
| MidnightEden234 chapter 6 . 3/16/2013
D'awww! ...SMEXY! HORAAAYYY! :D:D:D:D:D
Hichigo: We're never going to here the end of THIS one!
Ichigo: Nope... need ear plugs?
*running around in circles* Lemons! Lemons all around!
| MidnightEden234 chapter 5 . 3/16/2013
I loved the ending of this chapter! Absolutely perfect!
| MidnightEden234 chapter 4 . 3/16/2013
Then, he vanished in the night, leaving behind him blue feathers…
Uhh, creepy much?
| Veluthi chapter 6 . 2/19/2013
Thank you very much for writing this fanfic; I was really happy about the message that it had been updated! Since I prefer to receive feedback which helps me to improve as a writer myself, I'm going to try and offer some constructive criticism.
At first, I want to point out what I like most about this fanfic: It's the course of the story and the way it is told.
- You put many interesting, original ideas into this one. There are a lot of really cute and unexpected moments, for example when Ichigo falls down on the frozen street and Shiro stands right next to him to pick him up or when Ichigo forgets his sketchbook and Shiro realizes it is full with drawings of him (and nothing but him). *g*
- I'm also curious how things will go on between Ichigo and his brother; I guess Kon won't be happy about Ichigo's new lover at all. You created quite a difficult relationship between them.
- From a stylistic point of view, the whole text is neatly written and pleasant to read. I'm under the impression that your writing style has improved slightly since the first chapter - please keep up the good work!
So, what could you do to enhance your already good writing skills further?
Well, there is one detail that bothered me a bit: Some of your paragraphs are very short, only consisting of two or three sentences. This isn't always the case (in the first chapter for example, I'm perfectly fine with the length of the paragraphs) and can be a nice stylistic device to emphasize certain parts of the text, but you shouldn't overdo it in my opinion. If a chapter has a lot of dialog plus short regular paragraphs in between, the text as a whole looks fragmented with a space line after almost every written line. Maybe you could think of a way to keep your sentences closer together, especially around dialog scenes?
All in all, you did a great job! I'm definitely going to follow it further and I'm looking forward to the next chapter. :)
| Akuma No Asahin chapter 6 . 2/18/2013
aww, that was an awesome scene, and its nice ta see this story uploaded too :D upload soon plez
| Grisia chapter 6 . 2/17/2013
FINALLY! Finally they had sex. Oh it was so hot.. *nosebleeds*. I look forward to the next chapter *grins*
| Hollow Ichigo-Ichigo chapter 6 . 2/17/2013
So hawt! :D
| Wolf of the Nightly Moon chapter 6 . 2/17/2013
The devil and his bride. I like the sound of that. Can't wait for the next chapter! I wonder what your gonna do about Kon though.
| Hollowshirosaki413 chapter 5 . 1/19/2013
Will there be another chapter? Or is this he end? Dx
| Genesis chapter 5 . 1/11/2013
Love the Seductive Part that Shiro Used on Ichigo. So Hot! Keep up the good work