|Reviews for Inferno - Part I: The Awakening|
| lydiamartins chapter 2 . 12/25/2013
i was sort of confused when i started reading the story, because i wasn't sure if this was in the middle of mockingjay, and then slightly au with a few other details being canon, or if everything in the story was completely au, but by the end of the first chapter, things seemed to clear up - you've done a great job with setting down the foundation for the premises of this story, and there's actually quite a nice balance between the amount of dialogue and the amount of descriptions as well. you're not rushing along the plot too much so far, and i can't wait to see what you're going to do in terms of character development in future chapters, and how the plot is going to move along. i think that the pace of the plot that it is right now is good, because much faster and the story might seem a little rushed, but slower, and then there might be some more filler chapters formed. overall, great chapter, and i can't wait to read more into the story! (also, happy holidays/merry christmas!)
i really wish that peeta would recognize katniss b/c this is absolutely heartbreaking, and hopefully, at least after a few chapters, he'll recognize her and remember everything that they had together. i think that this fic is post-mockingjay, right? hopefully, it might be like how it was in mockingjay, when peeta was finally able to remember, but i really hope that at some point in this story, peeta will remember.
| HybridsRose chapter 1 . 12/21/2013
Wow, I think this is really good. Can't top the original trilogy though, but it's still a fantastic, creative and inspiring (and not to mention: extremely original) story on it's own!
Some tips would be: Use more metaphors and similes because so far there's only been a first person narrator, using description to set the scene and tone. Perhaps a few more word play or literary techniques would make it more interesting, and try not to start every sentence with an 'I', otherwise it'll start to sound like a monotone.
I think the plot is really interesting, and it can definitely go far. How you linked the end of mockingjay to the beginning of this story is really smart, and now the reader has enough information about the orientation of this story to properly enjoy whatever comes after. Overall; a good job.
| Silver Medals chapter 1 . 12/21/2013
I really love this, especially the last line.
I agree with Estoma; the sentences are rather short, but the longity (not a word, I know) of the chapters makes up for it.
You did a bit of telling instead of showing, especially in the last few paragraphs, but otherwise you painted a perfect picture of the scene.
I like the first person as it makes it feel as if it's an extension of the trilogy.
| Estoma chapter 2 . 12/20/2013
So I'm going to liveblogg a review, okay?
Reading along, reading along.
First impression; you use a lot of short sentences. This, combined with the first person and present tense does make it feel a little bit choppy, abrupt. Perhaps it would be smoother with a bit of a mix of sentences. Though, could just be me; I don't much fancy first person.
So, who are they going to rescue, hmmmm? I am really hoping for Finnick. Any AU where Finnick is still alive is A-Okay with me!
[Bonnie passes up her tools, and I realise how heavy it is.] I'd go for 'I realise how heavy they are.'
Aha, it's Pollux. Well, I was hoping for someone else, but I am interested to read more about him. He was always an interesting character. I wondered what he did to become an avox. I hope maybe you'll explore his character a bit.
Oh no, the plan all went rather wrong. I wonder if Bonnie can be counted on to rescue everyone the second time?
This new Peeta sure is interesting. I think I'd like more detail, but then, that's just how I like to read and write. I'll just have to keep going.
| Estoma chapter 1 . 12/20/2013
Hey Cooper, it's terrible, but I've not read much of your stuff at all! I'll say right off the bat, I'm not a huge fan of stories that change canon in this manner. I prefer pre-canon, post-canon or canon-compliant, but, saying that, I read the whole chapter and now I am quite curious to continue. You're well on the way to changing this old skeptic.
What I'm really liking here is Bonnie. I've never actually read anything about her, and now here she is, a total super-spy and rebel. The idea with the conveyor belt and the rubbish being collected is extremely clever. I love the idea of Bonnie surviving on the leavings of the Capitol, right under their noses. The comparison to Foxface is a good one.
Where I think you could have improved is perhaps going a little more into depth with Katniss' feelings. She just realised the last twenty years were a lie, and I think you could have explored that in a bit more depth.
Oh, and the radio called Cooper, tee hee, you couldn't resist, could you? ;)
I'm definitely interested to keep reading.
| Guest chapter 8 . 12/19/2013
| The fans chapter 8 . 12/18/2013
Please do continue this much needed series we all love it and, for me, i was very disappointed that there would not be a 4th book. But i love what you write and am happy to read, so please continue From-The fans!
| Alexandra chapter 8 . 12/9/2013
please continue with Part 2 :)
the story was brilliant, one of the best I have ever read :D
| Edhla chapter 1 . 11/29/2013
Hi, just as an FYI I'm a bit shaky on my Hunger Games knowledge, but I'll do my best. :)
I like the choice of using first person narration, though I did think there were a few too many pronounces (I, me, mine, etc), which got a little distracting, and some of the descriptions are third-person descriptions with the pronouns switched out (e.g. "I shoot up from the bed" is a visual, but a person couldn't see themselves do that.)
"I panic"- your mileage may vary on this one, but to me this is a summary - it tells, rather than shows.
"Yeah..." Having Bonnie start every sentence with this word gives it a casual sort of vibe I'm not sure you were going for and is a little repetitive.
I really like the premise of this fic, btw... it's a real human impulse to fear the idea that our lives are a lie. I thought perhaps some of that information could be seeded in slowly, as it seemed way too soon to unravel the whole premise - Bonnie and her information - in the first chapter, but again your mileage may vary.
I also really liked your last line!
SPaG seemed pretty clean to me, and there are some very nice little snippets of imagery and information seeded in, like Peeta and the raspberry cake. Keep writing like that - that's your strength :) xx
| Guest chapter 8 . 11/24/2013
| Peace Love Hunger games chapter 8 . 11/23/2013
Please continue I love your writing and really want to read part 2. You are an amazing writer, and this is and amazing story that should be finnished.
| Hungry-Potter-Games chapter 8 . 11/23/2013
This is the most powerful continuation of the series that I have ever read. With the way you take advantage of the original material no character or detail goes to waste. You tackle them all without missing a beat. You have such a unique storyline that every chapter blows me away. It’s refreshing to read a fic with such a clear direction like this one. It’s obvious you don’t just write it down as it pops into your head. You know what story you want to tell and you know how to tell it. Plus I love that you’ve connected this story to all your other fics. First with Tyler and then again with Henley and Livia.
I vote that you keep writing this! Pleeeease! Part 1 was fantastic and if you write Part 2, I will definitely keep reading. I really really want to read what else you have up your sleeve. If Collins came out with HG4 tomorrow this is how I would want it to continue.
| Fighting The Inevitable chapter 7 . 11/23/2013
I love your story. The idea is very unique and I love how you advertised the story at the end of "The Adventures of Little Finn: Boy Hero". I thought it was brilliant. I just started reading your story this morning and I have to say that I like how you did the alternate ending to "Mockingjay". I really couldn't take Finnick's death and your idea that all of that didn't happen was got me to read the story and I do not regret my decision. I look forward to your next update.
| Camphalfbloodforever323 chapter 7 . 11/19/2013
AHHHHHHH cliffhanger! im so exited to see what will happen next
| Alexandra chapter 7 . 11/11/2013
the story is amazing :)
I love it :)
please update it soon :D