Reviews for The Adventure of the Dying Detective
Ballykissangel chapter 1 . 2/11/2014
Poor John, I love him so much. The DD is one of my favourite story's and I hope they will do a Sherlock episode about it in the future although, John needs to be the one for some whumpage soon. He's always worrying about Sherlock and he deserves some worry from him.
Alosha135 chapter 1 . 12/1/2013
Oh dear! This was absolutely hilarious, and I can definitely see it happening. Sherlock and Watson were mates made in heaven . . . Not that they always look at it like that :P
McJunker chapter 1 . 11/7/2013
First off, let me say that the original ACD story of"The Adventure of the Dying Detective" is one of my favorites, mostly because it's the only one that I managed to solve before the reveal, and that I really like how it transitioned to the modern day.

So, let's discuss all the things that went right. John's Christmas shopping is excellently done, particularly with that second sentence about never knowing for sure if the reciever will like the gift or not. This happens to be a constant worry in my life too, and I've never heard that sensation described more succintly.

I also empathize with John's attempts to confront Harry with her drinking. My friends have a longstanding agreement to watch over each other when drinking, so I've had a few times of trying to control a raging drunk guy insisting that he's fine, he's good to drive, etc. The sensation is a strange mixture of frustration, anger, and love. And if that doesn't sum up John's relationship with Harry, I don't know what does. In fact, you might have even gone further- in the second paragraph you make the connection between trying to deal with Harry and trying to deal with Sherlock. Why not delve deeper with that observation? Maybe the reason why John can live with Sherlock's eccentricities is because of his experience with his sister. I don't know, I'm just tossing ideas out there. Either way, I think some concrete details of his stay with Harry might have been beneficial.

Sentence structure, grammar, and dialogue are all pretty solid. But you knew that when you wrote the piece.

The fsct that Sherlock actually starved himself and stayed dehydrated for 3 days was a little bit surprising. I'd have thought that the crust in his mouth and haggard appearance were make up tricks. Apparently Sherlock is willing to go to stupidly insane lengths for his art.

There is another angle to this fic that I don't think you saw when you wrote it. John Watson was an army medic. Part of the medic's job is to monitor his soldiers' health and make sure that they are all taking care of themselves to stay combat ready. While I was reading John's reaction to seeing Sherlock strung out on the bed having not eaten in three days, I thought about what our medic would do. I can pretty much guarantee that if Sherlock had dug his heels in to keep John at a distance, John would have called in Lestrade to hold Sherlock down so that he could give him a sedative, and that set up an IV while he was out. That's because John will take care of his lads whether or not they like it.

Anyway, good job, great fic
W. Y. Traveller chapter 1 . 10/7/2013
I love how you've taken the Dying Detective and converted it into a BBC Sherlock vision. Brilliantly done. :-) John really needs a medal for that patience of his.
MarienSully chapter 1 . 7/28/2013
That was bloody brilliant! How far will Sherlock Holmes go to test a theory... The best part is that the whole scenario could have come right out of an episode.
jack63kids chapter 1 . 5/7/2013
That was so unexpected and ACD canony with BBC overtones and characterisation that I'd hug you if I wasn't having my own sic-non-fic currently.
What a tonic to a day in bed with a cold!
starlight.moon.princess chapter 1 . 5/5/2013
Ah Sherlock, the chaos you create.

The BBC depiction of Sherlock has quickly become my favourite, and you wrote him perfectly in this piece.
I love that you started the fic with John's thoughts on Christmas shopping. They're extremely easy for a person to relate to, especially the part about forgetting someone important until the last moment. (as a side note, would that person happen to be either Mike Stamford or Clara?)
The fact that John finds the idea of something happening to Sherlock completely impossible is perfectly in character for him, considering the fact that Sherlock is a sort of superhero problem solver for John.
Your depiction of Sherlock's childishness and the petulance he is capable of when he wants to is perfect. He's perfectly capable of troubling both Lestrade and Mrs Hudson to the end of their rope.
And of course, he isn't ill at all in the end. It's just like Sherlock to fake illness and then refuse to let John near him for fear that he would figure it all out.
John's worry until he realised what was happening was spot on, and his panic was exactly like what I would imagine him to experience.

Just a bit of a personal nitpick:
[He's impossible, Doctor.] I don't think the BBC version of Mrs Hudson would refer to John as Doctor. Their relationship is more that she would refer to him by name.

Well done (:
johnsarmylady chapter 1 . 5/1/2013
Hi,
Just found you, so I thought I'd start with a one-shot.
Excellent - love how Sherlock had them all fooled, but his timing could have been better - after all Christmas is busy enough!
JAL
MasterSpy chapter 1 . 4/11/2013
Wow, another great fic! I've found that I always seem to enjoy your writing style. Everything I read seems so well-written and constructed.

I really enjoyed how Watson was trying hard to remember the person he knew he'd forgotten. We all feel that way; it made him seem so human and normal, which made me connect with him even more as a character. The way he talked about everyone so casually and normally gave a sense of familiarity to the characters which helped introduce them to me :)

The change of pace between the paragraphs as soon as Watson hears form Greg was very well executed. Before, he seemed to have all the time in the word for thinking and browsing but as soon as the message arrived, the feel of the story changed into a more panicked atmosphere. I noticed that your sentences became longer which helped with the hurried feel of the whole event. I also loved how Watson didn't even consider something happening to Sherlock; of course nothing could happen to him! It's one of those little lines that you've put in that makes me, as a reader, feel that something bad's about to happen—he's probably jinxed it :P

Sherlock's thick-headed stubborness along with rudeness was definitely in character. I appreciated how he was defiant even though he was clearly not in a position to be, fighting with all might against everything, even his friends.

I have to say, reading through now, after noticing how determined Sherlock is to not have any water, I can't help but think he has rabies. Being the brilliant genius he is, I doubt he would've felt the need to abstain from something so important unless he was forced to.

I was not expecting that! (Although maybe I should've, knowing Sherlock and the crazy things he does.) It seems like such a Sherlock thing to do, faking your own almost-death. I loved the twist! I really enjoyed how you started his explanation with "Well, I've been working on a theory as of late." It was a brilliant start and very reminiscent of Sherlock. It sounds exactly like something he would say. I also really liked John's response to that, repeating the word "a theory." I remember him doing that in the series and it seems like a very typical thing for him to do whilst he's processing another one of Sherlock's crazy ideas.

[Really, that man knew how to stretch the loyalty of friendship to the limit.] Just wanted to say that I loved that line. Not only is it extremely true, but I imagine it's something John thinks about quite often :P

Here are a few things I noticed, along with my humble suggestions:

-["It's half nine in the morning, said John, deciding to humor him] Just a minor typo. You've forgotten the second quotation mark after "morning."

-[Sherlock was referring to his friend by his surname.] This is entirely a matter of opinion, but it seems a little odd to me when John refers to himself almost in third person, although I understand why he does it. I personally think it might flow better if you had something like [why Sherlock was referring to him, his friend, by his surname.] or [referring to him by his surname.] since the fic is in John's point of view.

-["But you really haven't eaten or drank anything in three days, have you."] Since this is phrase as a question, I wonder if it might be better to have a question mark on at the end instead of a full stop, although I do see how John might say it like a statement.

Another great fic that was a pleasure to read :) Kay
Lazerwolf314 chapter 1 . 4/2/2013
Oh Sherlock, how complicated you can be. Great job here, because I could totally see Sherlock faking sick as part of an experiment, and you wrote it in what I believe is extremely true to canon.
Also, I laughed out loud at this [There'll be no Christmas presents for you this year, you old…] because it was spot on as Watson.
An excellent little oneshot that was slightly fluffy and funny at the same time. Well done.

[It was from Greg.] - Personal nitpick; you've already mentioned Greg in the previous sentance, so I would change this to, it was from Greg himself (or something along the lines of speak of the devil), because it would give a little bit of humor and a little bit of mystery to it, but that's just my opinion.
[cursed inwardly at the ridiculously leisurely girl who was ringing his purchase] - This confused me. Is she just leisurely as in, a nice and kind girl, friendly and the like, or is she moving leisurely, much too slow for Watson? If the second is the case, I would suggest just clarifying it to, cursed inwardly at the girl ringing in his purchases and moving much too slow for his liking..., or something of the like.
[ him to speak, but he was determined to speak nonetheless] - Repetitive of speak; try changing one to a different synonym.
[He knew that a message from Greg Lestrade of that caliber was not to be taken lightly] - You use that too many times (technically, you use it multiple times throughout the piece when it's simply a useless word that doesn't need to be there at all, but this is a good example). Actually, you don't need that at all (as my english teacher would say, it's a zombie word, purposeless and brain numbing). For example here's your sentance without it, He knew a message from Greg Lestrade of such caliber was not to be taken lightly, which overall sounds much cleaner and nicer when read outloud. Basically my suggestion is this; when you write out a sentance with that, read it out loud to yourself without saying that. More often than not, that can be cut. (That turned into a bit of a rant, sorry, but it's been drilled into my head all zombie words are evil to a writer).
ReadingBlueWolf chapter 1 . 3/8/2013
I like how Watson is struggling with Christmas shopping. I really like how it sets him on edge. That is so realistic and I love it. I like how you touch on Harry’s drunken state. I also like the simplicity of the statement Harry fighting tooth and claw. It’s simple and yet says so much. I’m worried about what that text from Lestrade means. It has me a little worried and with your title… I hope it’s a prank they’re pulling on John or something. So Sherlock’s sick and didn’t tell John. Typical Sherlock. Oh goodness. The dramatics that Sherlock is bringing into this was really funny. Asking if he should speak in French was pretty funny. The ending was really funny. The way Sherlock played him was great. I think it was great to end it by saying that there would be no Christmas gifts for him. That really made me laugh. I thought this was a really good story! Nice job on it!
darkaccalia520 chapter 1 . 2/23/2013
Oh, my gosh! This was hilarious! Ah, I loved the beginning and speaking about Christmas shopping. I certainly sympathize with John. Giving gifts can be fun, but buying the perfect gift can be a chore...especially when he can't remember who exactly he's forgotten. I also loved the bit about Harry as well since we all know John can certainly be tested by those he cares about,Harry being one of the biggest offenders. Oh, dear, the text from Lestrade certainly ruined that shopping trip.

But of course, it's the other offender: Sherlock himself. Ah, he certainly can act like a spoiled child when he wants to, can't he? I do love, of course, that Sherlock planned all of this, that he wouldn't let Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade summon John earlier. And when it came time for the examination, I think it's hilarious John finally realizes it's a trick. Well, not a trick exactly...an experiment, right? At least in Sherlock's case. I do love that John tells him he won't get any presents for that stunt. Serves him right; I wouldn't get him anything either. Ah, poor John. That man has a heart of gold to put up with everything he does. This was lovely, and I really enjoyed it. Well done, darling. :)

One little thing:

knowing that the only think he could do now was to wait.-I believe you meant thing instead of think.
DjinniFires chapter 1 . 2/19/2013
Ah, I remember the original Arthur Conan Doyle story-one of the few where Sherlock praises John's medical knowledge (the reason he wouldn't let John get closer). I like your version very much and can see the John Watson of the contemporary TV show in the long suffering, no nonsense portrayal here. Having Harry as a peripheral character is good. I'm still wondering, though, who John forgot to get a gift for!

Some nits from the first scene:
Paragraph 1: "seasons" should be "season."
Paragraph 2: "Naturally, there was Sherlock and Harry" should be "there were."
Paragraph 4: Remove "the" before "distress."
Last Paragraph: "The only think" should be "thing."

I can also see TV's contemporary Sherlock in the scene you give us here. Well done.
hiddenhibernian chapter 1 . 2/18/2013
I really enjoyed the twist! I thought this would be a standard sick fic and was completely taken by surprise when I finally could see where it was heading, around the time Watson was finding a healthy pulse! Some of us are clearly a bit think, the summary should have tipped me off now that I look at it again… I do wonder if Lestrade was on to him though, given the short message in the beginning…

I also liked the way you kept both men very much in character, right down to Sherlock taking John’s offered drink and raising it to ‘a small sandwich and a sponge to remove the makeup?’, showing no remorse whatsoever. Sherlock’s vocabulary is very spot on as well, more formal than the good doctor’s.

The writing flows well too, just taking a small section of the text towards the end as an example: ‘Sherlock propped himself up on one arm…’ followed by ‘asked John, letting the wrist he had been holding fall’, and so on; the action tags neatly tie in together and keep me engaged as a reader. I preferred this part to the beginning, where it was more difficult to sympathise with John’s concerns for his shopping list and struggle with Harry without the help of dialogue.

Well done, very enjoyable overall!
The Pearl Maiden chapter 1 . 1/27/2013
Oh my gosh. Sherlock...you are such a child. But...we love you anyway. :)

Very funny. :)
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