|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Witch Queen|
| Temporal Knight chapter 13 . 7/10
So first off let me apologize for not doing a review of the past few chapters. I've read through the remainder while away from my computer and haven't taken notes so instead of a full in depth review chapter by chapter, you get a set of the biggest points that have stuck with me.
-I am really liking where things are going and must confess that I am disappointed that you ended this chapter without showing how Dumbledore teased the time travel (or visions of the future excuse?) out of Hermione/Harry and why they ended up including Andromeda. Granted I like that they included Andromeda especially because I really like her character in this fic and it leaves the door wide open for Tonks to step in sooner rather than later.
-I really like Sal and find it extremely ironic how Hermione has a snake familiar. It's pretty cool and an interesting counter point to both the Slytherins and Harry's Parselmouth.
-I honestly see a bit of overpoweredness seeds in Hermione but in universe that makes perfect sense. Considering she pretty much becomes Queen Bitch of the Continent if not the hemisphere of the world with Voldemort only really being a threat since he can't actually die long term.
-Neville and Ron really do need a bigger part if they are going to be part of the main team as I truly think the twins are kinda upstaging them a bit. I love the twins though so it's more of an observation than a criticism. Plus Harry noticed that in story so, yeah.
-I am very curious who the mysterious invisible attackers are that either have it in for Harry, have plans for Hermione or want to keep the timeline as it was.
-I look forward to seeing the things you mention with Fawkes panning out!
-So what exactly did Luna do to him? The forgetting they were married thing is obvious since he needed to move on and not hold a grudge or a flame but did she have to take away them being friends or any memory of them at all? That seems like overkill honestly.
-The comments that Hermione made about not having a Vengeance tab and that being an annoying oversight was epically hilarious! Totally appropriate and I love the glimpses into how her mind works!
Overall, this fic is really, really good. It's not your typical one or your typical story/setup. I am really looking forward to seeing how things progress! If you don't end up continuing than any chance of a pm'd summary of how you had the plot going in general? Please keep writing! I need to know how it finishes or at least the answers to the questions left hanging!
| Prime Prodigy chapter 11 . 7/9
Seriously, I don't think I can read anymore of this story...I tried at least getting to this chapter. You are practically effacing Harry's character. I understand not all stories are Harry-centric, but this is biting the cake! A Harry losing his power and cannot strive to get it back, when the entire plot is built around him avoiding the mistakes of the future? Something is fundamentally wrong.
| Temporal Knight chapter 10 . 7/8
Oh interesting development.
Fantastic so Voldemort is being creepy still. And is considering converting his great nemesis and super strong consort into lieutenants who can breed him an army. I feel like I should be disgusted but I hover somewhere near impressed and slapping my head in frustration.
So my new suspect for the attack is the fae I think. Maybe they were affected by the ritual as well whatever they are? I honestly have no other ideas beyond that since canon-wise only Voldemort would be so bold. Or the house elves but the little buggers aren't exactly planning an uprising until Hermione gets involved in her badfuture version.
The book gift was both incredibly smart and horribly badly delivered. There were such better ways to give a girl a beauty book. Ways that didn't make it seem like you feel she's ugly.
I love how the twins have gotten involved so early and are practically full on conspirators. I'm definitely betting now they get taken into the time travel confidence before the end of the third year. Hell I'm practically willing to put money on before the end of this year if they keep seeing everything. They are some of the most brilliant people in their year after all even if all that intelligence goes into making jokes and stuff.
On that note though I definitely notice a severe lack of Ron inclusion. Again, I'm not necessarily opposed to this but he isn't really a true part of the core group at this point. I think his role needs to be stepped up a bit if you still plan to have Harry going to the Burrow for some summers.
| Temporal Knight chapter 7 . 7/7
Well damn. Here I was all prepared to actually like Snape for once and then he had to go and be an even worse asshole than before. At least when he hated Harry he had an excuse and Neville does legitimately suck at potions. False persona or not, that was just needlessly cruel. Her boosted magic is almost seeming as if Harry's lost bit was added to her's during the time travel which could lead to some interesting effects if that proves to be the case. I also like how the twins respect her. It would be utterly hilarious if they end up giving the Map to her instead of Harry.
Oh good there's the scary, assault happy Voldemort we all know and love instead of the strangely protective and nurturing one implied from earlier. Much better.
| Temporal Knight chapter 6 . 7/7
I honestly never figured that Harry would tell Hermione just how scary and singleminded her badfuture self had become until at least fourth year. Maybe fifth. Definitely not less than a week into the first year. That poor, poor scarred girl. As if her backstory isn't bad enough here...
The teaser about Luna being part something else was interesting. I'm guessing fae but without more info it's barely even considered more than a hail mary.
Voldemort is feeling protective of Harry... O.O Well now...that's um...I'm not sure at all how to respond to that. I ALMOST feel bad for the Dursleys considering how they keep getting blamed for causing his screwed up magic but then I remember how they are just the worst sort of people in canon and seem even worse here and the sympathy devolves into evil cackles.
So the snakes happily talking about Hermione being in love with Harry and his brain basically grinding to a halt was freaking priceless and had me laughing up a storm. It's interesting how she has a familiar already. This might help the whole Basilisk thing go a bit smoother later on down the road.
| Temporal Knight chapter 3 . 7/7
Okay so I was going to say how it's mostly a canon compliant universe with a few somewhat minor changes until the last year it seems when shit hit the fan with a jet powered assist. Then I got to the last section on Chapter 3 and realized just how much you mean it when you say your universe is infinitely more grimdark than canon...I'm rather surprised that current Harry is managing to fit in somewhat well seeing just a tad of the issues there. I do like how Luna was a badass in her time and I also like the explanation for why Hermione is so awesome. Though granted it does take a little something away from her simply being an epic genius on her own so yeah, double-edged sword there. It is interesting though and does open up a lot of possibilities for the future. Harry definitely did screw up that first meeting massively though and of all the people to do it to...I am definitely liking having a conspirator to help with the change the future events though especially with said conspirator being the one who essentially took everything over herself for a nice ironic twist.
It's good to see Neville will be integrated into the group to begin with and I do like how they are both actively trying to avoid too much of a butterfly effect while keeping a small one going. Hopefully they end up saving Ginny too. The twins should be interesting and honestly I'd say they would have the best chance of figuring things out after Hermione. I've seen the threads where you mention he gets over Luna now which I have to say I am looking forward to. I like Luna and the flashbacks are fun but I always liked the Harry/Hermione ship to begin with so of course I'm partial there.
Bring Tonks in early! I love Tonks! She'll only have just graduated anyway or she could still be there with a minor tweak! Tonks is awesome! And with her mother there specifically for Harry it's a perfect segway to the girl. She could even be the tutor during the summer months! Not the best student sure but Tonks is closer in age than any of the teachers so she could relate better.
| Temporal Knight chapter 1 . 7/6
Well I am finding this story extremely intriguing indeed so far. I like the Bad Future which Hermione pretty much the scariest person in existence there. Ginny was bit off putting honestly though I got a great laugh when Harry wished for his arch enemy to come and save him from his best friend.
I also found it rather amusing that Harry immediately freaked out that he had been found out while everyone was simply treating him like an abused child and how his reactions only further cemented that cover. The parallels to Tom Riddle are mildly worrying as it almost sets up him being misinterpreted as the next Dark Lord if he isn't careful. The reaction to the child abuse was awesome. Totally awesome. I definitely like how Dumbledore is a good guy here and taking an active role. Too many people devolve into Dumbledore bashing during time travel stories.
The magical backlash is worrisome as well and I hope that goes away with a few days/weeks/months. It's a good way to keep him depowered though that could just as easily be handled through not actively using spells his age group shouldn't know beyond severe intensive study.
I also hope he still ends up being friends with Hermione. There definitely did seem to be some feelings still behind the sheer panic at the beginning. All in all, an interesting Peggy Sue story that I am looking forward to reading!
| Lerris chapter 13 . 6/10
This is a favorite, because of originality if nothing else. If by chance you were to do a similar story in the future you might consider making the point Harry returns later on in Harry potter canon, just to make your taks more manageable. In the future, if this is continued, I'd hope Harry would get back his normal power levels, since he is going to need them. Luna is also waiting in the wings, so that should be interesting. The only other advice I can think of is to make the story more about action rather than planning for action, but the problem with that is your main character is one to plan and then overplan and then create ten other possible plans. Your writing as it is, is quite in character. In fact your Hermione is a very well thought out character. Still perhaps changing to Harry's point of view more might be worthwhile...
| Slenderbrine chapter 13 . 5/20
HOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING
| Catrick chapter 13 . 5/18
One of the most revolutionary Harry Potter fanfic so far.
| Anla'shok chapter 13 . 5/5
This story is very interesting and I haven't read one quite like it before. It's always difficult to write a compelling super smart, super powered character but Hermione is well done (on the flipside is Hermione's mom hotness a plot point? because that felt unnecessary).
I like how the plot and character exploration are entwined. I wonder why Harry hasn't asked Snape to lay off Hermione, unless he figures it's not worth opening that can of worms.
Really like how you delve into the magical system, even when it starts feeling a bit like a lesson.
I'm eager to see what you'll be doing with Fawkes.
On a sidenote, I wonder why so many fanfic portray the HP world as grossly patriarchal. There's nothing (except maybe the lack of women among named death eaters, which may be more due to Tom Riddle's gender bias, or just the fact that he was 'friends' with guys back when he started recruiting at hogwarts) in canon that indicates sexism. For all we know Sirius is the Black heir because he's the firtborn in the main line, not just because he's male.
| Anderfail chapter 2 . 3/29
A Hermione leads Harry around by the nose story because Harry is too pathetic to do shit on his own story! Yes, another story where Harry is a pathetic loser who needs Hermione to wipe his ass because he can do nothing without her help. It's bad enough that canon Harry is like this, but at least he was powerful. This Harry is just as much of a dumbass and barely above a squib, so I have no reason to continue with this story.
I like Hermione because she's smart, completely loyal as a good friend or lover, and because she is a perfect compliment to Harry. I love the H/Hr pairing, it's by far and away my favorite pairing in HP fanfiction, but I don't understand the incessant need of H/Hr writers to have Hermione essentially be Harry's mentor, trainer, guide, teacher, superior, etc. to the point where the relationship is totally one sided and Harry contributes nothing beyond being a warm body for Hermione to use. I'm okay with Hermione being a genius or super powerful if and only if Harry is also super powerful. I don't care if she's a genius and he's not because she is clearly smarter than him, but if she is both smarter AND more powerful then he has nothing to do beyond being her lackey or errand boy. It would be one thing if it was solely the rituals and such that made her powerful but Harry clearly spells out that she naturally blows him away.
At this point he's now a minor character who is not particularly integral to the story. I'm sure you're probably wondering why this is difficult to read, so I'll explain it. As an adult man, I despise feeling useless and will never allow myself to be put into such a situation. I cannot fathom not continuing to further my own knowledge or to improve myself physically or mentally. It's hard to read because I cannot dissociate my own innate competitiveness from Harry, so I see his lack of effort or power or skill or desire to improve any of them as pathetic. He comes across as a total loser to me and it almost makes me want him to lose. Does this make me callous? Possibly, but that's real life for you. Men who are simply content with the status quo are men who are ignored by society, so it's very difficult to relate to a character that can do nothing on his own.
I gave this story a shot, but I can't stand to read stories with a weak Harry so I'm out. Regardless of my own personal feelings, the story was good and well written, which is more than I can say about most stories, but it's just not for me.
| CracktheSkye chapter 13 . 3/15
Finally got around to reading this story; oof. It's wonderfully set up, and very well cast. Harry and Hermione especially. Poor Harry, though. He's been broken so many times that at this point he doesn't seem to place much value on himself anymore. The only things that I've seen him be concerned about are other's well being, especially Hermione, and his own capability to complete his purpose. To borrow a Type-Moon phrase, he's distorted.
Also. Question: no plot to kill a student can be accomplished in Hogwarts? What about Moaning Myrtle? Is the Basilisk exempt from that geas? It makes sense during the second opening of the Chamber, with everyone just being petrified, but not the first. Also, was Albus' binding active in the previous timeline? Because Umbridge would have been in violation of it.
More questions appear. Looking forward to the next stage of first year!
| CracktheSkye chapter 9 . 3/14
Oh, God. It's the Fae, isn't it? It would be just like them to plan long term for Hermione to come to them for power. Thus, them trying to keep Harry from becoming her Morality Chain, because anyone else isn't protected by fate/destiny/phlebotinum ; case in point, after Neville bought it, she lost it. That's...pretty damn terrifying, considering the power the Fae can bring to bear. Which makes you wonder: with Luna's yet to be revealed secret, is the entire backstory a result of the Fae scheming?
Lord, what fools these mortals be!
| Aki02 chapter 13 . 2/24
Increíble historia una de las pocas que realmente disfruto leer asta altas horas de la madrugada...
Ja JaJa -_-
espero con ansias el próximo capitulo.