|Reviews for Lion Unity|
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 65 . 7/3
It looks like you're going to closely copy the tasks of the TWT. That's too bad. The TWT is ridiculous because the audience can't see the second and third tasks, the second task takes place in a lake that might well be frozen over in February, and only three individuals actually compete in what is supposed to be a contest that promotes international cooperation. Not to mention that contestants regularly die in it. The whole thing is just absurd.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 64 . 7/3
Strangely dark for a chapter labeled "Everything's Alright".
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 62 . 7/3
Your Cedric is nothing like canon. Canon Cedric was well-liked because he had it all: handsome, talented, fair, loyal and yet not big-headed. His father was the big-headed one and it embarrassed him enough to not go in that direction. Cedric was intended by JKR to be the kid we all hear about occasionally on the news: great promise, well-liked, but met a tragic end as a teenager through no fault of his own.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 61 . 7/3
That was a surprise. I've seen plenty of stories where Sirius is sterile, but not Remus's GF. And Remus doesn't know, so she's the one with a secret and not him.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 59 . 7/3
Harry seems pretty contented for this to be the "Summer of Discontent". He even got a civil visit with Aunt Petunia. In keeping with the tone of the rest of the chapter I think I would have let Petunia be her usual, hateful self.
This chapter does leave me wondering why you've written all the young adults' first jobs to be such letdowns. Percy and Oliver really should be pleased to get jobs in the fields that they've always wanted. These days it's hard for adults just out of school to get full time jobs at all. In canon they're content with their jobs.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 58 . 7/3
I always thought that Remus was rather too easily distracted in canon when he "forgot" to take the wolfsbane potion that was sitting right in front of him on his desk. Thanks for closing that plot hole.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 56 . 7/2
This story warms my heart. I like Harry's letters to Dumbledore and his replies. I like that he actually used his political power to accomplish something good for a change. I like the Gryffindors all pitching in to match Remus and Charity. I like Remus and Charity showing genuine concern for the Gryffindors. This is the way it should have been in canon.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 54 . 7/2
No need to suffer writing Hagrid's accent. Use the Hagridizer: rephrase box /hagridizer
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 52 . 7/2
I absolutely love this chapter (the scene with Lupin). I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 51 . 7/2
Actually, it's Snape's patronus that's a doe, supposedly in honor of Lily. We're never told directly that Lily's is a doe, and it doesn't fit with her character. She's a redhead, stubborn, with a temper and doesn't easily forgive. She's more of a tiger than a doe. If her patronus is a doe then it's because she's in love with James Potter and his is a stag. Snape is probably deluded. Certainly he is about her supposed love for him. For all the time they spend together, Snape shows surprisingly little knowledge of Lily's character. She defends him to fellow Gryffindors but she hates his friends and complains about them to him. He apparently hides his Dark Arts obsession from her, probably because she would complain about that too. She never does anything to encourage his romantic ideas and their friendship remains entirely platonic she abruptly ends it.
Augusta failed her charms OWL. If she's now "rather proficient" then something drastic has changed (like, for instance, a change of author).
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 50 . 7/2
You can make the full moon whenever you want it. JKR didn't bother to look at a moon chart for 1993 when she wrote PoA. If she had she would have made the full moon 12/28/1993.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 47 . 7/2
Trust Luna to casually mention the painful truth.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 46 . 7/1
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 45 . 7/1
Hermione lies to herself and to Oliver here. Fortunately it's what he needs to hear. But Hermione gets very unhappy when someone else does better than her. She's very focused on comparing herself to others. She even gets unhappy when people refuse her help or make it clear that she's not indispensable. She's rarely positively happy at her performance. She expects outstanding scores as just due for all her efforts. She looks to her scores for self-validation, but more than that, she looks to her scores to prove her superiority over her peers, including the purebloods. She's actually a very insecure person because if she gets less than first in her class she believes that she can't be part of the group. Her self-image won't permit her to be just one of the gang, she's always got to be above the rest. It's obvious to all her peers, which is why she's got so few friends.
Poor Oliver. You really gave him a heavy burden.
| GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 44 . 7/1
Something's missing in "could an argument".