|Reviews for Second Chance|
| Avo385 chapter 12 . 9/26
So, I remember Vegeta telling Goku that his dad was the one who created the power ball technique.
| Guest chapter 26 . 9/23
Oh, I caught that Ultimate Gohan reference FP ;) "Fight you? No, I'm here to kill you." "Fight you? No, I want to make you suffer."
| fuzzy122672 chapter 7 . 8/21
Uh... Shorty and scarface BOTH had a power level of 3000, and your numbers for "relaxed" Nappa and Vegeta are them at full strength.
| justlovereadin chapter 2 . 8/20
I actually think you made Bardock a little to weak you got to remember that Dodoria had a power l of 22000 and he was barely able to defeat Bardock so i think he should be stronger at least as strong as current vegeta how has a power lv of 18000. Also by having bardock skip his travel back in time you fuck up the whole dbz timeline
| CallmeDeku chapter 11 . 8/20
Awesome FanFiction! God Bless You All My Brothers And Sisters! God Loves All Of His Little Children! No Matter What They Have Done! Christ Jesus Died For Our Sins! Spread the Gospel The Good News! God Is Not Dead He Is Surely Alive! He's Living On The Inside Roaring Like A Lion God's Npt Dead He's Surely Alive! Always Remember Jesus loves You So Much He Died For You! Christ Jesus Our Saivor Died For Our Sins!
| Guest chapter 33 . 8/18
Thank you for your time with us. May God bless you.
| Super Vegetarott chapter 26 . 8/13
So... can I adopt Second Chance? :3
With all jokes aside though, I would like to personally thank you for your comments about me in your closing note. I truly am touched that I held an impact on you, personally or "professionally," and I can firmly say that you have held a similar impact on me in kind.
(I didn't respond to your message on Twitter because I wanted this to come as somewhat of a surprise present, so hopefully you enjoy what is likely to be my last ever "mega review".)
I guess I should start with my personal opinion of Second Chance. I don't know if you remember this, but you pitched me the idea of Second Chance about three or four days before you even started it. And honestly dude, although my response to you at the time escapes me right now, I just want to say that from where I'm looking at it now, it was a kickass idea. A part of me is honestly even a little jealous I didn't have it first, because there was always a part of me that did want to tackle Bardock, but do so in a noncliche way.
That said, the execution of the story... was honestly a little shoddy. I think we can both agree that due to this being your first epic, you definitely had some core writing issues that didn't do the beginning of the story justice. That said, it's forgivable because you were really just getting your feet wet(especially with semi-colons :P) and I'd like to think that the Namek Saga of the story truly does signify how far you've come as a writer. Your Bardock and Vegeta made me cringe during the Saiyan Saga, yet they were extremely compelling in the latter half of the published story that I couldn't help but consider them two of my favorites. Although I could have done without the "wanting to kidnap Gohan" angle, there's even a part of me that can understand it considering how much of an impression Gohan's hybrid power held on Vegeta in his initial appearance - a factoid that escapes most writers.
Without a doubt, your biggest flaw in the story - and I'm bringing it up for a specific reason - is Bella. Like, there is definitely no way to excuse this laughable OC, and we've both known it for the longest time. But she held a pivotal role in your writing, I believe, solely because you learned from your mistake. Although I doubt I would have dropped the angle as abruptly as you did, you were able to identify a core crux in your story and exterminate it promptly. From then on, things seemed to be more mapped out, more focused, and more sequential as opposed to "this has to happen for X reason, so it'll happen now." I hope that makes sense, because I'm typing this out after having removed my wisdom teeth and I'm not exactly 100% yet XD
Your biggest strength in the story, as I've mentioned, was your adaptability following the Saiyan Saga. It was honestly incredible for me to read, if only because it solidified my opinion of you as a good writer. I'll always claim that I saw potential in you, FP, but that's when I thought to myself "okay, he just had a rough start to the story due to it being his first attempt at a signature project." I know, deep down, that if you were to pick up a pen tomorrow and rewrite the beginning of Second Chance, it would far eclipse what's here today.
That's not a bad thing, by the way. Stories with spikes in writing ability demonstrate a growth, an evolution, within an author. It's definitely shown me that releasing content episodically is honestly a laughable concept, because there's always going to be a part of you that begrudgingly thinks "this could have been done better, but I can't alter it now because it will ruin my continuity." I know this full well because I have had similar doubts and issues within my own work, and it's why I would whole-heartedly recommend finishing a story before uploading it to mostly anyone I've come across. Professional authors don't release their books on a chapter by chapter basis, right? Can you imagine how terrible their first attempts at writing must've been?
But let's stray away from that. This review is to celebrate you and a genuinely successful run on FanFiction, and I would like it to commemorate just that. Your personal growth, both as a person and eventual career in writing, has genuinely made me happy. You were someone who, as mentioned above, used the semi-colon so much that I think I found 60 or so in Chapter 12, and you've been able to improve past that to become a great FFN writer and a professional sports blogger. It's just... I don't know how to fully describe it, but I would like to think that, in a way, I've really gotten to see your evolution as a person. A lot of people remain painfully static in their lives, yet you are one of the few I consider dynamic. I love when people are able to change and reinvent themselves, because it signifies what we are in life. To never be content. To always strive for something greater. With all the idiotic meme-spouters, illegal medication abusers and heartless people in the world, having this quality about you reminds me why I'm grateful to have you as a friend. You are perhaps one of the few people that can understand how my FFN career went, because I believe I understand yours just as equally. We were just two DBZ fans who came to this site to unleash our potential(as the site's tagline loves to say) who realized some of our most ridiculous ideas on paper, and then we were constantly putting ourselves through the wringer in order to improve(with several setbacks along the way) before culminating in the people we are today. I hate to bring up popularity, especially on a site like this, but I think we've carved out our own respectable identities on this site. It makes me happy, thrilled even, that your work was celebrated by a community and given praise in a similar light to how I viewed the stories that got me going on this site.
I could continue this review for a while yet, I believe, but I think I'll save the remainder of what I have to say in the days and months to come. I hope that in some way, this review brightened your day, and that our friendship will continue for a while yet.
All the best to you, FP. And here's hoping the next chapter of your life is even more fulfilling than this one.
| Jason9000 chapter 33 . 8/2
It's a shame everyone seems to be disappearing. Your reasons are why I just about stopped writing. Too many cringeworthy OC's, pairings that made me want to hate everyone, and Super just isn't doing anything for me. Well I wish you luck in the future endeavors. Good luck out there.
| FireStorm1991 chapter 33 . 8/1
Yikes, poor Tien is all I can say for the first scene. I skimmed the end of it, but I got the picture.
And once again, Bardock and Vegeta get along. Guess that's what happens where you work with someone who was raised the same way basically. And the Ginyu Force wants fair? Would they truly play fair? Especially when one's a body switcher?
It's too bad we won't get to see the rest of the fights, but you did a great job sticking with this story for so long. Your writing continues to impress me, and I'm glad you'll continue to write. Good luck with everything :)
| FireStorm1991 chapter 32 . 7/31
Guldo is a really annoying villain, so not much of a loss. lol. A battle royale sounds interesting, though now their numbers are skewed. I wonder how well that will go over with the rest of the group. Tien with Frieza? Welp, that's a pickle. And it's kind of entertaining to watch how fighters who don't trust each other in the slightest need to work together, Vegeta already planning his future attack/kidnapping. Time to read the next chapter. Sorry it took me so long to read this one.
| LordTicky chapter 33 . 7/30
It's a shame to hear that this story is ending. I had only recently discovered it and was looking forward to reading much more. But I do understand your reasons, and I wish you luck with your writing career!
| StarBorn Michael chapter 33 . 7/29
Yeah why did you cut out Bella for again I actually like he just WHY.
| uchiha12367 chapter 17 . 7/4
Will Bardock be on the same ship as Goku? So that he can train in the Gravity Chamber.
| MalikJamalTimberlake chapter 33 . 6/1
Read all there's is to this so far and I must say I like it. There's no bashing of one character (except Guldo but it didn't last long) Yamcha's actually trying to help and isn't joke tier, Tiens getting kills. That's epic Man.. Interesting plot for Goku though is him learning Nappa's Lightning Aura and perfecting it in place of the Kaioken (until he gets a different yellow power up XD) would be a interesting concept seeing as Goku did learn the Kamehameha after seeing it once and (if you count Tree Of Might) the destructo disc. that's just an idea though, hope to see update soon, Good luck
| SSGSS Goku chapter 33 . 3/22
Man its been so long since uver read fanfics. This is still one of my favs