Reviews for Dishonored: The Novelization
The Fox Familiar chapter 4 . 7/13/2013
Whoa, whoa whoa. Talk about no suspense! Don't you think Corvo would want to get to know these guys? Or at least get his stuff together? He's asking way too many questions and seems all ready to go given the fact that he just broke out of prison.

I don't think you re-read this. Most of the sentences don't make sense and they're clunky. Again, for a novelization, it's poor.
The Fox Familiar chapter 2 . 7/13/2013
You seriously did not just write BOOM in exchange for an explosion. Great. More bad writing.

It is Coldridge prison, not Coleridge.
The Fox Familiar chapter 1 . 7/13/2013
Now here's where the bad stuff begins. For one, Corvo did not know Daud's name until The Outsider told him. Second, everyone knows the intro. We know what happens, we know who says what. Nothing original or gripping here. For a novelization, it fails to interest me.
Charlotte chapter 12 . 4/5/2013
Okay so this is good but your dialogue needs fine tuning. If two characters are having a conversation and it's just the two of them, you don't need to have a dialogue tag after each line of dialogue. For instance:
"I can't believe you stole my hairbrush," said Sally.
"I did not!" said Jessie irritably.
"Yeah you did!"
"Did not!"
"Did so!"
etc.
As opposed to:
"Yeah you did!" said Sally.
"Did not!" said Jessie.
"Did so!" said Sally.
Also: it's important to remember that using dialogue tags such as "retorted, snarled, yelled, quipped, asked" etc should be used in moderation. "Said" is usually the way to go. The only time you really wanna use a different word is if you're really trying to get across a certain emotion.
Anyway, hope it helps!
xXxTheOncomingStormxXx chapter 2 . 2/2/2013
Really enjoying this so far, I like how your put your own extras in rather than purely sticking to game. Great job :-)
Lord Divestre Croft chapter 30 . 1/7/2013
How outrageous! I can't wait for the conclusion.
Mermaid Ninja chapter 22 . 1/2/2013
Maybe Emily should sit the next mission out.
Bearybeary chapter 21 . 1/2/2013
Umm I hope they realized that lady Boyle have sister wearing the same outfit but different color they need information of which party costume is lady Boyle in without making a mistake.
rebfan90 chapter 20 . 1/1/2013
Another great chapter! I have really enjoyed how you have included Emily a lot, and I loved it when she called Corvo daddy!
rebfan90 chapter 19 . 12/31/2012
Great chapter! Really enjoying the story so far! Keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to future chapters!
Mermaid Ninja chapter 18 . 12/31/2012
Hmm. Should Emily behave herself at the Boyle party, or cause a distraction?
Mermaid Ninja chapter 10 . 12/29/2012
Too short.
Mermaid Ninja chapter 7 . 12/28/2012
More please.
Alleonh chapter 1 . 12/27/2012
Fwee. I kinda sorta love this for a few reasons. First of all, I've discovered from a few hours of play that I ABSOLUTELY suck at this game. I don't know why! I try to be stealthy... but I always end up surrounded by corpses... that being said, I probably will only be able to witness the good ending with aids such as this and youtube. Secondly, I'm not a huge fan of silent protagonists. I get why they are around, but you lose so much character! So I say give him some personality in your story! Anyways, it's well written so far and I hope you continue. Good Luck!
Mermaid Ninja chapter 1 . 12/24/2012
More please.