|Reviews for Drowning in your Shadow|
| CosmicEssence chapter 6 . 12/17/2007
o-kay. That last chapter was the best of the lot i have to say..mind you i suppose the run up made it so huh? Your grammer needs serious improvement in parts its almost unreadable adn you use far too many question marks and 'um's'. Its like your writing it as though your constantly trying to find the right word and have left those 'umm's' in there by mistake. Only on one occasion does the umm work in the sentence according to whose speaking at the time. My advice is if you are trying to show a pause in speech or thought, either write a pause in or leave a space i.e. three dots "..." or - or similar.
Is what you've written about the three souls thing correct...at first i got confused (that thing always does) but if its right then that has to be best explanation - and most understandable - ive ever read! Also the real soul room meeting with Yugi's angel self was a bit confusing but in a funny way...i laughed at this bit:
"I need to figure out this ‘other’ me. No ‘me’. I think I need an aspirin." chp6
On top of the whole paragraph of course (which i'm not rewriting out lol) is real amusing and perfect...as is the scene in the kitchen which follows.
Also really liked the reactions to Yugi's new look...now how did Isis know that? And the bit where Liv thinks about crying & flooding the 'garden'..your not trying to suggest the GReat FLood are you? Her metaphor on the sun as well is cool...never quite thought of the outside shining raging inferno way before...and her nickname Sunshine...dunno something about that name i always find funny (lol probably doesn't help ive been called it by a mate before :P) but it fits in with your story is all i'm saying.
So some good bits, like the way its going, but does need some more work as well.
| insanechildfanfic chapter 6 . 5/2/2004
this is great
| MoonCigar chapter 1 . 9/15/2003
update soon please its been a really long time and alot of people want to see wat happens
| Personwhoisn't chapter 6 . 9/7/2003
| Maliks gurl2 chapter 6 . 8/10/2003
hey this is really good! Continue it!
| Alana chapter 1 . 6/28/2003
Alana:KEP WRITEING PLAESE!_!
| maria chapter 6 . 5/27/2003
yay! bad-ass yugi rocks! he always seems like such a wimp but now he's very cool! keep writing!
| the birdster chapter 6 . 5/9/2003
*Scratches head puzzedly* What did Yami do some... 3,0 years ago? .o I dunno...
_ Update soon! .
| TenshiKurama1 chapter 6 . 5/9/2003
Please, write the next chapter. Or I'll threaten u with a frying pan *hehe*.
| DaughterofDeath chapter 6 . 4/19/2003
add new chapter
| rox-the-chaotic-one chapter 6 . 3/31/2003
This is so good so far! I hope you write more soon!
| Zero Tribal chapter 6 . 3/29/2003
Zero: I just love this fic! A war that was never finished huh? Hm...This is getting so cool! Update soon!
| Sakurae Kirisa chapter 6 . 3/19/2003
WAI! SUGOII SM-SAMA! *glompz* _ Can't WAIT for more! _
YAMI MIRAKAI: By Ra... My hikari is hyper...
KIRIKO: No... Just over trd... *giggles*
YAMI KIRIKO: So are yo for that matter... ALRIGHT! Everyone get to bed now! It's _WAY_ past two in the morning!
MIRAKAI & KIRIKO: *stare at clock for a moment* OO *scramble of to bed*
| Senket chapter 6 . 3/17/2003
ay, the wait was ok...I've done worse...haven't updated my R/B story since November, if not September...-_-U I like the frying pan
| kiyoko-chan chapter 6 . 3/16/2003
You updated! _
And Livi wants Yugi to go back to Yami? But why?
anyways, I hope you update really soon! can't wait 'til the next chapter!