|Reviews for Identity|
| houseofanubisfan2 chapter 9 . 5/9/2013
Hope someone will adopt your story. It's a great story and I would like to know what happens next.
| Alexandria chapter 1 . 1/8/2013
Haha:) that be my name!
| houseofanubisfan2 chapter 8 . 1/10/2013
Love the chapter. Hope you will continue with it soon.
| futurewriter102 chapter 1 . 1/9/2013
you need quotation marks
| houseofanubisfan2 chapter 7 . 1/8/2013
Love the chapter. Hope you will continue with it.
| houseofanubisfan2 chapter 6 . 1/1/2013
Great story. Was hoping you could have continue with it.
| MoriartyandHisTardis chapter 1 . 1/1/2013
Right, okay, this isn't a flame or hateful review. This is constructive critism. First of all, you need to have speech marks when the characters are talking. You also need to start on new lines when new characters are speaking, eg. "I'm Jerome." said a boy with poofy hair.
"I'm Alfie, have you seen any aliens?" he asked with a crazed look in his eye.
Also, you need to use paragraphs so that your text doesn't end up in a huge chunk. Furthermore, you need to make the action a bit more believable.. Why would Joy call this girl names already? How would the other house members react? Just adding in small details like that will make the story much better and more interesting. You need to use full words, instead of writing 'a boy w/' you need to write 'a boy with' because using abbreviations like that are very unprofessional and make the story difficult to read.
These are just some pointers that I wanted to share, please don't be offended and I hope you listen to my advice and you continue writing.