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Guest chapter 29 . 6/12/2017
steamrick

You're overlooking some things.

Ritual.
A) You're working under the presumption that Crouch Jr. would know of the ritual.

It's obscure, because most magicals are lazy. Even if he isn't, doesn't change the fact that the ritual isn't exactly part of the Hogwarts syllabus, or even most common Dark Ritual books.

Our"Mad Scientist-Wizard" is the Durmstrang equivalent if a Ravenclaw. More likely to be digging into rare books than most.

Plus, Durmstrang teaches the Dark Arts, means the odds of him finding a vague reference to the ritual and then digging in and actually finding something is far greater than a Hogwarts Slytherin coming across the ritual or reference, unless it was part of the Family Library.

The Blacks are one of the few in Britain, who might know of it.

As an aside, I wouldn't be too surprised if Tom knew of the ritual, due to his travels and digging.

Course the odds of him SHARING knowledge like that is low.

B) You're presuming that Barty. Jr. would have the magical strength to use the ritual.

Even with magic, there would be a difference in output and endurance.

There's the weightlifter output and then there's the Blacksmith endurance. In both cases strength is required. The first only requires a burst. The latter a constant expression of the strength and maintaining that level for as long as it's needed.

Even if the weightlifter's output is higher than the Blacksmith, he couldn't imitate the latter if he couldn't keep up the pace.

Same with a ritual, it would require a steady flow of magic. Or to use some fictional numbers. MSW's Core is worth 100p. His Output is 75p, whereas his endurance is 80p.

Now Barty Jr's. core is also worth 100p. His output is 90p, but his endurance is 65.

And the ritual requires an output of 75.

See the issue?

_
Humiliation/Anger vs Brain washing.

C) Our little Assassin-Witch has had countless memories implanted into her, to teach her the skills she needs. Which would include maintaining cover identities.

However, our memories help shape our personality. They help define who we are.

In this case, her personality would be the results of a consensus of her memories. She's more a collage, bits and pieces everywhere, rather than a painting..

She'd have more in common with Legion the Geth from Mass Effect 2.

If most of the memories were taken from relatively moral people, then she'd be relatively moral. Immoral people, then immoral personality.

But even the latter wouldn't appreciate being used, the whole sex rituals etc.

So no I'd argue that our dear author hasn't goofed at all. And that this story definitely has the potential to go somewhere in the care of the right writer.
Guest chapter 25 . 6/11/2017
Sakura Lisel

The reason why she'd be called Zoe Kal-El, is the same reason why Supergirl is called Kara Zor-El.

Krypton has certain Patriarchal/Nobie influences, and daughters are identified by their fathers in name.

Faora Hu-Ul , Allura In-Ze, Asha Del-Nar, Fedra Shu-El, Karsta Wor-Ul, Lara Lor-Van, Nadira Va-Dim, Tes and Thara Ak-Var to name a few other examples, whereas Ursa is probably from "common stock".

Although I did see some other female Kryptonians with just a House name. Not unreasonable to presume that they're "common stock" marrying into a House.

Meaning that if Ursa and Zod married, rather than be Friends-with-Benefits she'd become Ursa-Zod. Whereas any daughter, to join their existing son Lor-Zod, would be Name Dru-Zod.

To reflect this upon the Wizarding world: Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa Cygnus-Black. Or Ginevra Arthur-Weasley, Luna Xenophilius-Lovegood.

It's something that would matter to Pure-bloods and Half-Bloods of higher stations. Muggleborn wouldn't care about it.
Guest chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
Story definitely has legs on it, far as I can tell. Hope someone adopts it, although I'd go with the name Hedwig for irony's sake.

Two German feminists, one of Goebbels daughters and a lot of "German" noblewomen have born the name. Combine it with the Witch, who apparently gained sainthood. Possibly the one who became Patron Saint of Orphans.

Well.. A cruel sort of irony to take a name that would otherwise be beloved and make it a dark reminder of agony and humiliation beyond most people:s ken.

As for potential lovers. If this is MCU Marvel, than a frustrated Sif or possibly Brunehilde from the upcoming Ragnarok movie. AFAIK, they're going with a straight Carol Danvers., so she's out.

Brunehilde is Bi in the comics and the Valkyrior are somewhat reminiscent of the Amazons, so girlxgirl pairings wouldn't be that odd. Sif is also a former captain of said group, as is Brunehilde.

If Viking Society is in any way a reflection of Asgard, then there'd be a more open view towards sexuality. Least if my reading of articles on this issue is correct. Been awhile.

Although I'd switch their appearance. Directors forgot that Heimdal and Sif are brother and sister. And the actress they have playing Brunehilde has a better chance of being mistaken for his sister, than the actress that they had play Sif.

Taking nothing away from either Lady's acting skills. Just a little "detail" they forgot when they picked the actors.

Comic Marvel would open up more possible choices. From X-23 to Daisy "Quake" Bridges, iirc anyway.
Guest chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
I like this start an I hope someone adopts it! I wish I had the talent of writing with plots like these! Please keep us updated on its progress
sjrodgers23 chapter 29 . 6/12/2017
thank you loved it
Danyael Prince chapter 29 . 6/12/2017
I can see some potential in this...
Slytherin Studios chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
I like it, please update soon.
steamrick chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
This one's premise is... iffy.

For one, if an Imperious ritual did exist, Crouch definitely would have used it rather than having to continually refresh the curse on his son again and again and again and risk having it show up should anyone ever need to check his wand's last spells.

Also, when brainwashed from age 7 to 17, would she even have enough individuality left to feel humiliation, or consider the things Hydra ordered her to do terrible?
WhiteElfElder chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
Don't create a weapon that you cannot control...because sometimes they come into someone else's hands.
torvalds42 chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
An interesting plot idea, I must say, much like the others Will there be an alert whenever one is adopted or continued ?
Thanks for the work, and good luck for your projects,
Torvalds42
Jostanos chapter 2 . 6/11/2017
If the new DADA professor is 'The Pink Toad Bleep' she (Umbridge) may have a field day.
MichaelSeverusGajda chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
Well, first things first; every sensible, reasonable citizen knows that you don't feed shite to kids and throw them into that kind of situations. Just don't. Otherwise bad things are bound to happen to erstwhile rulers, crazy scientists, mad tyrants and other fucks of this world.
Sinister deserve to burn forever in HELL for what he did. So is Joker.
Now, it is quite easy to image what kind of things she would do to her captors, now that object of most grievances is dead.
Let's not mention Malfoy. Dumbledore. Or Snape, for that matter.
Good one, anyway. I would like to hear about someone who would dare to write something like this.
anthony.pengelly.10 chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
good hope for more wot of ginny and hrmioe
wildman9002 chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
If this is continued please can you tell me where
Lotus'Guard chapter 29 . 6/11/2017
It's interesting for sure, and I admire your ability to find rare names. As a native speaker, I wasn't aware that any germanic language has "dkh" in any word. But a quick Google confirms it, so I learned something new.
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