|Reviews for In Strange Waters|
| DeathRayBob chapter 10 . 2/2/2015
Nicely done, I rather enjoyed that, even if I have come across it quite late.
Your OCs are also excellent fodder for further stories, being surprisingly well rounded and showing hints of interesting back stories of their own. I'm hoping that you intend producing more in this universe in time.
| Theralion chapter 10 . 4/28/2014
This is a good concept in showing how tankery's done in another country; you seem to have put a fair amount of thought into how Canada does things differently. In particular, the "quarter-flag tank rule" seems like an interesting approach.
The battles were quite entertaining, and made use of the new elements described. On the other hand, I agree with severstal's points about the battle, especially the contradiction between not wanting to tow Leopon Team in spite of relying on them, and not wanting them to tax their engine.
Regarding your OCs, they aren't one-dimensional, and are more interesting than most Girls und Panzer OCs, but they aren't quite up to the main cast, which is to be expected, though.
I don't think boys were necessarily excluded to prevent world wars, but because of an apparent lack of interest among males, at least in Japan, according to the Blu-ray booklets. Since this is not the case in Canada, it seems plausible that this reason would not hold true, though.
The idea of learning more about tankery while abroad is an interesting concept, particularly if Oarai eventually goes up against their former opponents after they've had a chance to do something similar, but the exchange of knowledge does seem a little one-sided. It's understandable that most of Oarai's students except for Miho are beginners, but one would think that Vimy would be able to learn more from Miho's style of commanding.
I also have to wonder why Yukari would suggest, as a compliment, that Lucius's senpai would be a good fit in Black Forest or the Nishizumi House, since the main reason behind Yukari's admiration of Miho was the decision Miho made that cost Black Forest its victory and went against the ruthless principles of the Nishizumi House.
In any case, however, I'm interested in hearing more about Lucius' hatred for the Nishizumi House, although I'd like the story, if not Lucius himself, to acknowledge Maho's ulterior motive for being a Nishizumi heiress, and the fact that she's considerably more compassionate than Shiho.
On that regard, I have to wonder who's being accused of leaving the flag tank open in your version of the tournament finals, since arrogance seems to be more of a trait associated with Erika than with Maho.
There were a few minor mistakes, such as:
-"her question died in her throat on(c)e she saw him"
-"a team was using a hummel(capitalize) for direct-fire"
-"I could not in all consciousness(conscience?) vote against the proposal."
-"Why is it so cold(?)"
I'm interested in seeing where things go from here, and hope you continue writing this story.
| Guardian54 chapter 5 . 12/16/2013
I sense Miho's father right about now.
| severstal chapter 10 . 10/6/2013
Nice battle. It seems that like the show, the long break had allowed you to think through the battle and how you want to write it.
But I thought that topless vehicles were out after that little accident? Wouldn't even "warheadless" artillery be a bit dangerous under the new environment?
| roguespirit chapter 10 . 10/6/2013
You have a real tallent for writing battles. I love how you've shown the different philosophies used by the three commanders and show how the battle unfolds. I look forward to the next chapter.
| fuji92 chapter 10 . 10/6/2013
Wow, that was some battle there...and about time you update. Good chapter overall. - Fuji92
| v.ren55 chapter 1 . 8/22/2013
Vimy Ridge? Canadian academy? OOOOOH yes. People seem to forget that Canada did operate tank forces in the Second World War.
| severstal chapter 9 . 7/10/2013
Overall, the concept of Chapter 9 is OK, but details need work.
Vimy's battle plan is not awfully inspired, really one step up in creativity over a frontal attack, but functional enough. Approximately 40% of the tanks are grouped into the Danube-Rhine Team (let's call it DaRT) under Danube troop's commander (Gemini) who are to feint an attack in the north. The remainder, the Britania-Euphrates-Africa Team (let's call it BEAT) under Lucius (Ferrata) will move in after the enemy is (hopefully) committed.
「Sorry, but no. I don't want my tank to be leashed to something when the enemy attacks.」
Hardly very friendly of these Vimy people. It is plausible, because while the invitation was for an exchange of knowhow, this way this story runs is fundamentally that of Oarai the Student & Recipient v Vimy the Teacher & Benefactor, so a hint of superiority complex on the part of Vimy's people is reasonable. Still, the degree of hubris here is stunning for a team that will eventually have to run and hide behind Leopon, and immediately causes this casual reader to dislike Vimy (doubt this is what the author wants!). Especially since we will soon learn that this concern is unjusified and even counterproductive.
Still, some of the blame here has to be ascribed to Miho, who hadn't learned about the need to stand up for her teams when playing as junior partner in a "multinational coalition" environment. This kind of crap should have been coordinated between the leaders beforehand :-)
「"Gemini to Claudia, Engage and continue forward. Inform future contacts," a feminine voice from XIV Gemini, command tank of the Danube troop, answered.」
We learn that not only do the platoons have names, so do the individual tanks instead of going for alphanumerics. This massively increases the number of call signs everyone (including the reader) has to recall and partially defeats one of the advantages of increasing the hierarchical depth. Claudia in particular is a waste of time because she gets snuffed out faster than Anteater in the KMM ambush... surely, Danube-1 is good enough for such a character.
「Guns thundered off in the distance.」
We now learn that DaRT's formation is so widely dispersed that the rear elements don't have visual contact with the firefight at the front, thus greatly reducing the validity of the stuck-up Vimy tanker's justification up there.
「"Danube, rearrange; Gemini will take lead, Cromwells follow," with that, a Comet with an "XIV" inscribed sped forward.
"Rhine will do the same. Rhine, rearrange!" A male voice this time spoke, and another Comet followed its friend.」
There's something to be said for allowing initiative, and something to be said for the rapidity of a direct order. Gemini shouldn't have left this decision to chance.
「Gemini replied, "Not yet; don't tax your engine. We need all tanks at their peak performance without breakdowns. Continue at a comfortable speed."」
If you were that concerned, you might have ordered a few of your tanks to tow Leopon around.
Or at least you could have considered unit integrity and the need for a speedy response, and slowed down so the formation can go into battle as one. Based on future events, you could have done that and maintained the coordination measures mandated by Lucius.
「"Gemini to Ferrata, contacts in pass. Targets light, no troubles yet," the assigned commander for the northern attack reported to Lucius.」
Gemini's report is quite optimistic. She had lost about 10% of her force so fast that no report was possible (if it had been real life, "Claudia" would have gone off the air without a word).
「"Unless something changes, in seven minutes and 20 seconds."」
Lucius seems to be using only time as the coordination measure. This is not really appropriate b/c Lucius cannot really even be sure whether DaRT will make it to the hoped for position in time, let alone where the enemy would be. Place or event based coordination would seem to be better in this situation.
「"Negative on that. Your job is to look like the main attack, not to be the main attack. Pretend to push as hard as possible without excessive casualties."」
Uh, Lucius, are you grasping what is going on? DaRT (actually, now only DaT) really is in little shape to push, and had already taken excessive casualties. They started out with 8 organic tanks (11 total) and now they are down to 3 (6 total and since the Char 1bis is not really heavily armored in the face of late war class armament and its guns a step above a peashooter in the late-war environment, you have 5 effective tanks) - effectively they are under 50%.
Has the variant of rushing in with BEAT to the rescue NOW even occurred to you?
「With twenty seconds to spare, Ooarai's three heavy tanks reached the front line of the pass, where German, American, and British guns fired off round after round of various AP shells and shots, mostly bouncing or missing. Credit to the gunners though, most of the misses were no more than a mere 30 centimeters off target.」
Assuming the Oarai tanks were closing with a closure of 12km/h, they had been left over 500m behind the Danube formation. Really, with three minutes and considering the enemy's earlier speedy dispatch of Rhine troop (who from all appearanaces had been advancing parallel to or even behind Danube), Danube troop should have been dead by now. This would be fitting punishment for their lack of appropriate compassion and even attention to maintaining formation, and also to Lucius' apparent lack of compassion for his own people PLUS lack of understanding that his battle plan was in serious risk of falling apart.
Instead, the author rules ... apparently no further casualties, even though no one even gave an order to pull back and there is no sign Danube has pulled back into cover ... hmm...
Really, not a very satisfying ruling on several grounds.
「A low ridge in the middle of the rugged pass prevented Sagittarius Academy from spotting the new dangers to their defence. The Tiger P, KV-85, and Renault B1 stood shoulder to the Comets, alive and knocked out.」
In this paragraph alone, the writing is inconsistent. The fact they can be "shoulder to a knocked out" Comet says the enemy has LOS to the position (it doesn't help that previously it was stated the two sides are trading fire), even as the first sentence says this is a covered position without LOS. Which is it?
| IcyBlaze4545 chapter 8 . 5/6/2013
That was grim, I hope the other schools will be making an appearance as well. Something tells me that romance plan is going to backfire. and what could jack possibly be planning? very interesting )
| GBscientist chapter 8 . 5/6/2013
How exactly were the tanks moved to Vegas? By rail?
I predict that Lucius plan to deflect Saori and Jack will backfire.
I like most of your details about the ban on open-topped tanks, but I have a suggestion to get the American Tank Destroyers back in the game: after-market roof kits. If the Ooarai girls can find a kit that turns a Pz 38(t) into a Hetzer, which was actually a new-build vehicle on the 38(t)'s chassis, there must be kits to put armoured tops on the American TDs. Such kits did exist for the M36 and could easily be made legal for the M10 and M18. The artillery pieces wouldn't work with such a conversion, though, as they were designed without sufficient space for the crews to work inside the tank.
| fuji92 chapter 8 . 5/5/2013
well, again looking forward to it. - Fuji92
| IcyBlaze4545 chapter 7 . 4/24/2013
Nice!, things are finally getting interest- *sees cliffhanger*... -_- *Goes back to sharpen knives vigorously*
| fuji92 chapter 7 . 4/24/2013
Cliffhanger? Really? Oh dear...gonna have to wait for another new chapter. - Fuji92
| GBscientist chapter 7 . 4/24/2013
Mary Hillson is reminding me of Balalaika from Black Lagoon.
| GBscientist chapter 6 . 4/19/2013
Well done, sir. I was thinking of writing a story along these myself, but now I'd rather just read yours. The point of Canada's academies simply being isolated land facilities is exactly what I would have done, as it makes a great deal more sense for a land-rich country like Canada. I'm also glad you included male Tankers in the story, as the all-girl Sensha-do of the series didn't make much sense to me. I'm curious about what the Chief Executive's goal is in all of this and I really like Park's command style. You do realise, though, that Park is a Korean name and Koreans generally hate the Japanese's guts, so Park and Yukari's families may have problems with it if they get into a relationship.
On a more picky note, why the Sexton and Churchill AVRE were banned from competition? I hope you'll go into the regulations in a bit more detail to explain this.