|Reviews for Subjugate|
| SincerelyChristina chapter 1 . 6/23/2014
Beautiful! Simply brilliant! I loved it! :D
| Mariketa12085 chapter 1 . 1/5/2014
Good story but you spelled jibe wrong.
| ilovemanicures chapter 1 . 2/4/2013
OMG This was way too adorable. I cannot even begin to explain to you how much I enjoyed this.
Marik, Bakura, and Yami' bickering made me laugh the whole way through. Marik' constant subconscious flirting was soooo cute. And Bakura' brotherly outburst were like icing on the cake.
The beginning was eye-catching, the middle was amusing, and the ending was absolutely perfect. I seriously believe this to be one of the best one-shots I have ever read. Thank you so much for sharing it.
| tenderglories chapter 1 . 1/1/2013
Okay. I'd just like to say that I am in an angstshipping-induced coma right now. Like I said before, I can -totally- imagine Ryou as a computer hacker! And Marik's little accident innuendo in the middle there, it did make me chuckle.
I think they're all characterised really well - and I love how it's an AU, but it's practically canon, if you get what I mean. I'm gonna assume that you do. :P
One request; needs more angst! As in the shipping, not the anger or whatever. Although the ending was unbelievably cute, despite their difficult situation!
Good luck for the contest, I'm sure you're gonna do really well. :D
| mapplepie chapter 1 . 12/31/2012
okay, that definitely took wayy more than a second, but I loved every minute of it.
oh, I want to gush about how cute the ending was. Of course, I highly doubt any sane person would completely ignore being held at gunpoint and start arguing/cuddling (but no one said they were sane ;)). And yet the idea of them doing just that made it so much sweeter.
When I was reading the summary, I was wondering how you would manage to get Marik and Ryou together since they were rival gangs and all. I was almost doubting it was possible to get them from hating to loving each other in one chapter. (but that was one looong chapter ;D) The amount of love they have for each other is just the right amount (well, according to me, anyways). Not overly and unbelievable from the one/two days they've only known each other for. They have a interest in each other that seems to be sprouted from curiosity of each other (or at least that's what it seems to me), and it works :)
Although, I'm surprised Ryou wasn't more freaked about Marik's multiple personally, or at least more cautious about Marik because of that. Speaking of which, did that personality (Yami Marik) just disappear suddenly (from the power of love (and also from logical reasoning)) ?
And before I forget, I want to mention that AUs aren't my thing because usually they're soooo AU it hurts to read (but utterly fun to write). But in this fic, I love how everything more or less is canon with a few things tweeked. I swear, when I read "Kame Tavern" I was so amused because I hadn't expected that :)
Also, I would like to add a "I knew this fic would be awesome!" In other words, stop freaking out, cuz I honestly loved it from beginning to end, and so will the judges :)
| nihao.muse chapter 1 . 12/31/2012
Ah, what a great AU this is. You managed to bring many of the canon relations into this story seamlessly. I loved reading about the antagonism between Bakura and Yami. When Marik accidentally asked Ryou how far he would go, I laughed pretty hard, since he really is suave and composed most of the time. Both Ryou and Marik's perspectives were done well. Even though this story was serious, there was plenty of funny moments too. I noticed a couple of things you might want to change- Bakura reveals Ryou's name, but then gets mad at Yami just a minute later for saying his. Also, Marik's described in one part as having "his shoulders tense and alert... He appeared relaxed." Both of those things seemed contradictory.
Seriously, I loved this! Good luck in the contest.
| Fatin Adolfina chapter 1 . 12/30/2012
I really like this story. I think you did a really good job on it. I loved Marik in this story, I don't remember how many times I laughed.
| albino shadowz chapter 1 . 12/28/2012
Gurl, why were you so worried about this? xD
I liked it, particularly the interaction between Bakura, Marik, and Yami. It was funny to have them bounce off of each other and I think you managed to keep them in character. But for some reason, one of my veeeerrry favorite parts was at the beginning when Marik was having the little convo with Ishizu. I liked it as an opening and an introduction to Marik.
If there's one thing I have to say annoyed me a little bit, it was that dialogue took up most of the story. I know it's your strong point, lovely, but you've got to be sure that there's lots of yummy description and other such things to balance it out, y'know?
OH! One more thing! I love how it seemed like Marik was about to snap and go YM on us towards the end there and the word "fool" was firmly integrated into his vocabulary. When he was clutching at his hair and such... WAHAHAHA! Unfortunately, Ryou is Odion in the story and he didn't... uwahh... I wanted delcious ultra violence... Guess I'll have to settle for Ryou getting slashed. :D
Great job, buddy, and best of luck in the contest! :)
| Not In Use. Dead. Delete chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
... Needs more Angstshipping, much more. Other than that this is awesome! The AU was appropriate and I like how its cannon based. I especially liked when Yami Marik appeared and made Marik go nuts. No punctuation errors got in the way and this is nice and long. I loved it! X3
| sessiles chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
oh my god okay okay i'm freaking out (in a good way) give me a minute this is gloriously beautiful this is everything i wanted tHIS IS ALL I NEEDED IN LIFE I CAN DIE HAPPY
THIS TOOK ME FOREVER TO READ BECAUSE I KEPT WANTING TO READ IT SLOWLY AND SAVOR IT AND WOW I CALLED MY GIRLFRIEND AND TALKED ABOUT WHEN RYOU AND MALIK WERE TALKING ALONE LIKE DANG WHAT CUTIES...sWOOnS
okay okay i'm sorry it's just that i've read everything for angstshipping and so little of it is good and this is GREAT okay serious review time
malik's character is portrayed PERFECTLY, and i love the dialogue in this! dialogue is something have a really really hard time with but this is perfect, especially when wow they're almost flirting with each other what cuties i'm gonna burst into flames bejesus, and ryou as the cute hacker boy is perfect! at first i was wary because i'm not a big fan of the super shy/kind/innocent ryou stereotype buuuut this was portrayed perfectly and just wow i'm going to cry
my only critique is to have had them escape or something at the end, i mean it wrapped it up with ryou not pulling away (what a perfect ending line "but he didn't pull away" gosh perfection) but it woulda been nice to see if they escaped i mean kaiba had bakura at gunshot how's he gonna get out of this one (although it could always end up with flirting with kaiba cause yknow antagoshipping is a beautiful thing oops)
yeah anyway this was great and you get a tumblr if you don't have one cause you seem p cool and are a great writer and we could ttly be friends ye i'm sorry this sounds creepy but this is how everyone introduces themselves to each other over there i'm used to it i'M SORRY I SOUND CREEPY OKAY ANYWAY
i really really enjoyed this aaand i'm gonna add it to my fic recs page on tumblr, aka the page that many a person has asked me how to get on, omg, i'll just point to this and say dang write something this perf okay anyway
you definitely certainly have my vote for the contest gosh okay bye!
| literalspoon chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
You did say review at the end of this, and you did review my entry, so I'll go right ahead and review yours. I'd like to say this is quite a nice fic you have here - very sweet concept, and well executed!
I always like to give my reviews a little bit of actual feedback to them, though - so here goes:
First up, I'm not a huuuuge fan of AUs. That said, you were tackling Marik X Ryou here, something that's quite hard to do without being somewhat AU anyways - and I have to say that I really enjoyed it. People were mostly IC, so it sat fairly well with me. Only concern with it is that this could seriously have been a multi-chapter story, maybe a little over-complicated for a oneshot... eh, what do I know? It worked well.
You're right in that it was quite a long fic (I think because of all that explaining the AU's background, you covered it pretty well), but it did have sufficient detail to keep me going. Personally, I'd have preferred a little less dialogue (you really relied on it to show what was going on), and a little more description when it came to setting in particular - it'd certainly help the atmosphere, IMO. In addition, you may not want to refer to Marik as Marik every sentence; the same for the others - it gets quite repetitive fast.
Other than that, this is an awesome thing you've written here - very creative! :D Well done, and good luck for the contest.