|Reviews for (Short Story) A Christmas Errand|
| Annie C chapter 1 . 7/14/2013
Interesting truce... Love the Triela and Hillshire banter, too! :)
| Chronic Guardian chapter 1 . 1/8/2013
Interesting. Well written (but then, I wasn't expecting any less out of you) and engaging to the end. Triela was the best choice for the story, she plays well off of her handler and allows for dynamic interactions.
As for trivial details, here's what I picked up:
At what point in the timeline does this happen? Triela has six bears but has met Pinocchio? I thought at that point she had eight. Hilshire's thoughts about Triela growing though seem to fit the Pinocchio arc though; that girl really shoots up around then.
"Her eyes flashed a spark of curiosity at sight of the bag, but she said nothing."
Perhaps "at the sight of the bag" might work better. I know, I say add words and you say subtract. The sentence still works but the wording caught me a little off guard.
I think that a little more detail could enrich the tale at time. For example: Triela looks out the window. True, nothing much more NEEDS to be said for your purpose here, but a brief word or two about the blurred world outside that she is attempting to lose herself in might help.
I do realize that for the story purposes as well as the nature of the conflict between the Lega Nord and the SWA cremation is the most convenient choice. This still bothered me though, particularly when the exchange took place at a Catholic cathedral. To my knowledge, the Catholics are usually fairly opposed to cremation. In fact, according to this link below Italy only has a 7% cremation rate.
However, on closer examination, this is not an inconsistency so much as a powerful component to your story. The SWA and the Lega Nord both fight for Italy (albeit, radically different forms of Italy, but Italy none the less). But the nature of Gunslinger Girl is often to protect through (for lack of better words) unapproved means. They have both fallen from the standard that they are trying to protect. To put it in the words of Dycedarg Beoulve: "What purpose do laws serve when even those who would enforce them choose not to pay them heed?" Yet in the midst of their doubtful existence they still strive forward. Despite all they have done against the "old way", they cannot break free of it. Even for all the "advances" they are still bound by the rules of the world. Mayhaps I read overmuch into this, but I still enjoyed what I got.
In short: you got me thinking. And for that, I am grateful. Well done, Taerkitty, well done.
| Asukaforever92 chapter 1 . 12/30/2012
Interesting and unique story idea here. I really liked it. Nicely done.
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/27/2012
Wow. A 'Christmas Miracle', enemies pausing from their unending fight to remind themselves that there are other things of importance in this world besides their conflict.
I presume Jean doesn't know.
| Kiskaloo chapter 1 . 12/27/2012
That's a real neat idea. Cool story.
| Odon chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
Mmm. This was a good one.