|Reviews for Tales of Two Brothers|
| WalkingInTalaria chapter 6 . 5/12/2015
Nice to see more of Thorin's character here, in addition to Fili-Kili-cuteness. Thank Mahal they all made it out safe and sound, the sweet little dwarves.
| WalkingInTalaria chapter 5 . 5/12/2015
Yikes. But they've got to make it out okay, right? *looks worried* Right?
| WalkingInTalaria chapter 4 . 5/12/2015
Awww...they're so cute! I'm quite surprised that the whole shelf didn't follow Kili down from the wall, but dwarves are masters of engineering...
| WalkingInTalaria chapter 3 . 5/12/2015
Yes! Dis giving Thorin a scolding for his obvious immaturity! It's very funny to imagine Thorin making faces at himself in the mirror, so thanks for giving me something to laugh about for a while.
| WalkingInTalaria chapter 2 . 5/12/2015
Doom! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake! Doom! They're all DOOMED! Hooray!
| WalkingInTalaria chapter 1 . 5/12/2015
Hah! Serves Fili right. This is an interesting change from the ever-sweet-and-loving Fili who always cares about what his brother has to say.
| Cansei de Ser Sexy chapter 2 . 12/1/2013
And once again, they started doing their silly faces, hah, then got caught by the Uncle Thorin. I can perfectly imagine Thorin let them locked up there in the closet more, making each other faces and fighting :d
Again, quite humorous, I kept reading it with a smile on my face. The young sibling dynamics were funny as hell, though I have no idea if they are canon or not, though they seemed to me, but we never saw any dwarf youngling, right? So, who cares? I certainly not. Especially when they are this evil, and funny.
Liked what you did with 'you will eat your words.' It's actually funny because dwarves can take the words sometimes a little bit too seriously, can't they? And how liked how 'manipulative' little Kili was. Evil :)
For the writing style, I don't remember it from the first chapter, but I saw you here breaking the fourth wall, twice, and I rather liked how you did it. Normally, I found this technique very tiring, but with your narrative it really worked well.
PS. I really don't have any idea which of you write what, so, because the last chapter of Every Miles wasn't something I could easily review, I chose this one. :) (Chapter Nine was quite nice too, btw. :D)
| Winged-Violoncelle chapter 6 . 11/29/2013
Wow. Definitely your best chapter, and the chapter with the most grandeur of ME that's so captivating to me.
You've got my attention from Thorin's guilt in the beginning. It seems totally him that he'd watch and do nothing, in hopes that this will give Fili and Kili some backbone. I was a bit surprised he didn't follow them sooner, but then I suppose he had better things to do. You described his trepidation very well, with how he tried to ignore the wind eating his bones, and how his pace quickened when he had terrible images.
His singing of the song, and Kili's being brought back to spirit by it, had quite the archaic heroism that's characteristic of Tolkien-verse. I quite loved it. I could hear the theme from the movie playing in my head, even though it's not the same words. Thorin rumbling "Awake" created such an image, and I guiltily say that it was a bit of an amusing one. I regret nothing /shot.
My favourite part, of course, is when Thorin sees in Fili and Kili a younger and more spirited version of him and his siblings. It wasn't angsty to me; it was simply how the cycle of life worked, and tragic in a way considering the way Thorin's and the brothers' fates collide. My heart was heavy when I finished this. Thank you for this chapter, and for the story!
| Winged-Violoncelle chapter 5 . 11/29/2013
Not sure if it's Celt or Mihi who was tagging, so I went back to this.
Wow, you guys sure like to start out with fluffiness and end it in painful!Angst! The beginning of this chapter really brought a smile out of me, especially the part where Kili tipped over a gigantic mushroom which had a name. A characteristic ME-esque name at that. All that whole part of them causing mischief almost seemed hobbity :)! The quick glimpse at Dis was also nice; she's always been a soft spot of mine.
Perhaps you could consider the use of a line break before and after the flashback? I know it's indicated in italics, but I still found it just a bit abrupt. The content, however, was rather nice. Love how Thorin scolded just Fili, and how he sees Fili as being more responsible. There goes Fili to prove him wrong again in the present!
The war of the water was also very amusing, though I probably wouldn't have thought so if I'd foreseen all the upcoming angst. I think you wrote the storm very well indeed, and the comparison of it to a dragon (and snow as the falling ashes) was very apt. Well done. I'm not sure what will happen next; the most logical guess is that Thorin would come after them. Looking forward to more!
[doubtless learned from hours of refining] - "doubtlessly"
[a dark-haired dwarfling covered in dust and hysterical with relief giggling in his mind's eye] - I assume you're referring to Kili in this? Perhaps you could make it a bit obvious, because in my first read through, I couldn't really make sense of this.
| Winged-Violoncelle chapter 4 . 11/25/2013
I think a reason that you found this hard to write is that it's pretty hard to imagine Thorin bonding with anyone xD. But I think you did a pretty good job! The beginning was very cute and made me chuckle. It was hilarious that Kili didn't seem to share Fili's rebelliousness at all, although the age difference is only one year. I don't think they really acted out of their age either; I, for one, have done much crazier and stupider things than climbing a shelf at that age, so I can totally relate ;).
At first though I totally thought it was going to be humour, because the mentioning of blueberry jam amused me. But when I saw poor Kili's fate, I realized it wasn't the case. You made it rather angsty, lol. The little squeak of "Stay?" was too cute, although perhaps a bit too... I'm not sure, I imagine a 10-year-old in pain would bawl his eyes out and scream, but that's just my own opinion. I guess it's also hard to imagine Kili bawling his eyes out. XD I loved Fili's thought process after Kili's plea. You outlined the guilt very well. And Thorin's reaction was great. Loved how he chided them but didn't rage on them, and how he showed his concern for poor Kili. Kili's last lines were beautiful. You brought me straight to thinking about the ending of TH and feeling the tragic element. Well done.
A nitpick: [We can't just walk back in there and sit, Mother will notice us...] - change comma to semicolon
| Winged-Violoncelle chapter 3 . 11/21/2013
Oh my god xD! I thought they were all fairly in character, again because of how little we know about them. There's absolutely nothing canonically on Dis other than her family tree. She was only mentioned because of Thorin, Fili, and Kili's fates. But I loved your version of her here, dignified even more so than her brother. It also increased how bad I feel for her because of (I'm assuming you know why). I sometimes imagine how she gets through everything after all the events in The Hobbit.
I suppose I was wrong to expect a hilarious Thorin. No, he must stay dignified at all times, even if he felt a bit sad (sort of) at his nephews thinking of him this way. But I was happy to see that he didn't get angry of course :); that was rather in character of him. I can't imagine him getting angry at all, particularly at the adorbs Fili and Kili. His chuckle was well-timed (and his nephews' reactions are hilarious), and his attempt to make his nephew's face at the end was simply priceless. Dis's disapproval made it so much better. xD
And Fili and Kili were just ADORABLE :DD! Fili more so in this chapter, with his brave I-will-protect-you front and all and stating in a matter-of-fact manner that he's educating Kili by having Kili confess to Dis about what they'd done. Priceless :).
Loved every bit of this little story. Thanks for sharing & catch you later!
P.S.: Checked out that Dis picture you posted. IT IS NOW MY HEAD-CANON.
| Winged-VCelle chapter 2 . 11/21/2013
Crap, accidentally clicked the button when I'm not even done. Anyway, it's simply my own opinion, plus Fili did make it literal later :). It was all great fun to see :).
And the ending was simply priceless. "his shadow filling the room" - I foresee disaster in a humorous kind of way. As haughty as Thorin sometimes can be. I'm sure he gets a little mischievous sometimes too, particularly in front of his two nephews. :)
Great work & thanks for sharing,
| Winged-Violoncelle chapter 2 . 11/21/2013
I tagged you again because I really wanted to review your Maglor poems. But then I remembered how much I suck at critiquing poems *facepalm* so here I am again (though I must tell you I did read them, and they were lovely :)!
This chapter was again absolutely hilarious. I like to think that Fili and Kili are in character, and I'm saying this because Tolkien himself didn't really shed any insight on their characters. It's a bit hard to flesh out twelve three-dimensional Dwarves in a 200-300 paged children's book. I've only ever quite gotten the sense that Fili and Kili, being the youngest, have the most energy out of all of the Dwarves, and I'm certainly seeing that here.
I loved this line: Fili's mouth twitched up. Am I reading too much into things or am I getting the sense that Fili is trying to train Kili in some awesome elder-brother-ly way?
The "eating words" part threw me off a little. Nine-year-olds actually know quite a bit, and Kili taking it literally made him look more like a six-year-old than a nine-year-old. But that's just my own opinion.
| Winged-Violoncelle chapter 1 . 11/21/2013
Hilarious start. I've always wondered what Fili and Kili were like as children :). Being stuck in a closet, I think, foreshadows disaster.
In terms of language, true, it's not very ME-esque, but then again they were 9 and 10, so that's easily forgiven :). I do loved how Kili was the one to get bored first, while Fili seemed the slightly more sensible one. Although honest, a face-making competition? Quite an idea.
If the storage door locks by itself, then how did Fili and Kili get in there? Was it open to begin with? Maybe you should explain that somewhere in the narrative. There was also a slight bit of confusion at the end where you wrote "Fili was almost pouting now". I do believe you mean Kili :).
Quite a relaxing comic piece. Now, one more question. Will they go to the ME-equivalence of Narnia :D?
(yay 100th reviewer)
| Cansei de Ser Sexy chapter 1 . 11/20/2013
Ah, siblings quarrels, never get old, don't they? In a few words, I liked this, I got that comedic almost looking for excitement fiber from them that I'd taken from Hobbit movie, it looked close to the scene in the Bilbo's house when they came to the dinner. :)
Frankly, I don't remember Fili well, but I do remember Kili, because he's portrayed by one of my favorite actors, Aidan Turner, so I'd say he really sounded like a 'child' dwarf, in fact, both did. I also liked the idea of making faces at each other, lol, and how Fili thought his brother looked like an 'squirrel', heh, batting eyes certainly has that effect, I wholeheartedly agree. But Fili, playing with his hair-bwhaha, I could perfectly visualize that women, down to his expression, and it was damn funny.:)
Overall liked this, short but sweet, the only critic I could have(if I had to) would be about the narrative, the writing style, as good and easy as it was to follow, unfortunately it sounded to me too much modernish, not very Middle-Earthish. I know you can't use 'archaic' language with dwarves like you could with Elves, but I still thought that you could have added something a little bit, at least just to catch the Tolkien-istic ambiance.
Thanks for writing and sharing with us, and I hope this would be helpful for your big one-oh-oh :D