|Reviews for Fallen|
| WhisperingTrees chapter 1 . 12/17/2013
this is beautifully tragic.
| The Ducky Pirate chapter 1 . 6/30/2013
I like reading the ones where the troopers in the Originals are veterans of the Clone Wars. I'm not sure how plausible it is, given the age acceleration, but the stories are usually too good for me to care about that. One reviewer said the paragraphs are too long; I think that's just and effect of the formatting. You use a few too many ellipses, but that's an easy fix. Otherwise, good fic, keep writing.
| Bloody Phantom chapter 1 . 5/30/2013
This was different. I'm use to reading one-shots of clones feeling bad about their betrayal, being force to destroy the Jedi...having a clone feel betrayed by Anakin was a very interesting twist, one I never thought of before.
Though, I saw were you could use some work...not so much grammar as structure...to make it easy to see when one person stops speaking and another begins, you should put it in a different paragraph...And, I don't think it's your fault (it it could be just my computer), but the format is a bit discouraging...the way its all to one side...ummm, maybe trying to describe the scenery so more, sunshine, rainy, cloudy, noisy, the busyness of the city, the sound of rushing speeders...try not to make too long paragraphs, they are hard to follow sometimes...try and add more emotion, Rex's heart twitch in pain at the reminder of Anakin, eyes felt heavy from experience and age...you need a little more description like that... grammar-wise, I only saw one place where you forgot a punctuation mark...it was somewhere in the last paragraph...
It was a good story and it was a very interesting idea...I seriously never thought of the clones feeling betrayed by Anakin...and I liked the description of Vader, "..a cold, unfeeling metallic suit, filled with rage and anger." I do like the last paragraph, you did really great there...with the differences of Anakin Skywalker and Vader...and I liked the last line too, that was a really great last line..I think I said enough...it's one long review! lol...I hoped it helped
| PilotLost chapter 1 . 4/4/2013
I liked this.
| Steel Celestial chapter 1 . 12/30/2012
Very good! I am a huge Star Wars nerd, so this was good to read. It was interesting to see how Rex felt with Anakins transference to the Dark Side.