|Reviews for Checkmate|
| Supernova18 chapter 51 . 9/22/2013
It's nice to see all the changes in the games with the stylists and the twists on sponsoring. I'm so glad Ruben and Adria had a moment together, at least they had that.
Myia as a mother scares me, even if she'll be loving for sure.
Pizza. I'm hungry now. LOL. Mama Mags indeed. She's trying to get them to get along but it'll be harder and harder the more victors there are and they're already much too different.
The Jabberjay was just sick. I hate the Capitol too.
| Flibidi chapter 51 . 9/22/2013
I had almost given up on you (I'm joking, I had read your profile).
I enjoyed way too much Mags tearing into Lucian because he'd changed his look.
Glynn is in trouble but I have no idea what Achlys wants to do and I don't see you killing her (this isn't a challenge lol).
The mentor byplay and introducing Comet in a different light was interesting as always.
Seeing Sylvanus again was very interesting too, he's really the opposite of the stylists and he doesn't seem to think he's unique (usually there's only a single nice Capitolite in fics).
I hadn't expected the gamemakers to pick on Adria. I though she would die because she's young and not so experienced. I hadn't expected her to be so strong and still die because of the Capitol. That was brilliant. And horrible.
A very good chapter and I hope the promise of weekly updates was no lie (or else... lol).
| shadesunrider13 chapter 50 . 9/15/2013
I think the first part of this chapter was definitely the strongest, although it was fairly gruesome. Berle definitely got the worst punishment. But I'm wondering how Dover will do in the Games, or if you'll just skip them completely and move ahead to Achlys' fall. Since D4 is a Career district, or is on its way to becoming one, there should definitely be more victors by then.
Hmm...maybe there should be some in-it-for-the-glory Careers mixed in with the rebels. That could be interesting...
Good chapter, and I'm looking forward to your next update.
| shadesunrider13 chapter 49 . 9/15/2013
Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this.
While the cat's away the mice will do dangerous things, apparently. It's interesting that instead of going to the mayor - presumably Creneis has one - the Peacekeepers bring issues to Mags. Is it because they trust her more, or is it because Achlys ordered them to? I don't recall such a close relationship between victors and Peacekeepers in canon, but it works, somehow.
Glad to see Mags and Dylana working things out.
Squid Achlys. I laughed when I read that.
Overall, good chapter.
| minkspit chapter 12 . 9/10/2013
So this is the Games after all, no one has realized that the Capitol has been poking around in their brains like jelly, and the beginning is explained (well well well, the Capitol wouldn't just let the tributes run off after a trainwreck or sabotage after all!) For a moment, I thought Mags and Fife were seers- because I have been reading Redwall for a an unholy long time- and then I reminded myself that this was the Hunger Games, and magic doesn't fly. But the Capitol is definitely having fun with altering memories. I wonder if Fife, Constantine, or Mags have been bugged...?
On a lighter note, when it comes to animal symbols, I can see Mags as a Magpie, Fife as a cat, Vicuna as a... well, Vicuna, and I'm not sure about Constantine. But the thought just popped into my head and amused for a moment, especially when Constantine was talking about family crests earlier on. He really is a bit of a privileged guy, and I wonder if that fact is going to eventually slap him in the face later on, or if he just doesn't care. Time will tell.
| Guest chapter 50 . 9/5/2013
Not ego lift intent but your story is the first fanfic I've ever read and I enjoyed it so much I now compare all others stories to yours. Thank you for the laughs,the tears and the suspense. I await more.
Guy of Griffin
I need to read canon!
| Well of wishes chapter 50 . 8/29/2013
Esperanza made my day. She was shouting in my head as I read:
[Esperanza eyed her sister crossly, as if she'd committed a terrible social blunder.] Mags, God dammit, he's flirting with you, you're SINGLE, flirt back!
[The boy shrugged and grinned. "Who needs a girl?] How dare he say dating's not THE most important thing!
[So are many girls] Now he's asking for it!
Dylana cracked me up because she's so not over Yarrow, even if she may not love him anymore. Also her WTF reaction at having to dye her hair then how she figured she didn't care was cool.
It was also fun how Mags panicked because she realized she had no clue who Adria was. She might end up with Caspian since Glynn little-brother-zoned him.
Marquise reminded me of Barney Stinson (How I met your mother) when he's like "I'm Ted's best friend" and Marshall doesn't need to say anything because he KNOWS he's Ted's actual BF. I don't even think Glynn gives a damn about being anyone's best friend as long as she gets to have intelligent conversations and to travel around the world but Marquise strikes me as the possessive kind.
[At least the dual training would have her and Dover be the solidest alliance ever formed.] Cool, update!
[ut also because his twin was eligible just one more time and, with him volunteering, he was sure Samson would be safe and able to pay off his family's debts] You're right, we just didn't care enough about Dover before. Sigh.
I didn't comment the execution because I felt bad for once at being sarcastic over stuff that is epic.
Plot twist: Mags hunts the Giant down and marries him. (I couldn't resist)
| Iacopo chapter 50 . 8/29/2013
Not sleeping is the key to having inspiration and writing well? Then I will try it for sure! :D
[Yes, I am just that awesome. I get children exiled and forced into a profession they detest instead of killed. And adults killed quickly instead of slowly.]
Better than nothing. The execution was terrible and seeing the difference between Falx who felt right about the punishments and how Marquise and the rest of Mags' guard helped her how they could was very telling. I wonder where Lucian's records ended.
I was first surprised then happy to see Mags angry at seeing Galon. They're treating her like a cash cow and I'll bet Galon never apologized or thanked Mags (his best friends are dead!)
Glynn is so spoiled, except spoiled is the wrong word. She's incredible, she always gets her way and she wants to travel, and when she says things like "if this is too abstract for you, pretend" I don't know if I want to hit her for be so patronizing or love her for being different. Would it be possible to have a scene with her and Lucian in it? I see them getting along, insulting each other and getting all intellectual.
I think you showed in a subtle and clever way how Glynn is very privileged for Creneis. She's not the usual spoiled rich girl (Marquise is a spoiled not-rich girl, which is funny), she's different.
| Lollipop chapter 50 . 8/29/2013
Random Lucian lol, and only Achlys gets away to celebrate democracy by being called Her high mightiness. I didn't even know it was historical.
the condemned being drugged is the kind of detail I read this for. It's so coherent with Achlys' way of doing things that I should have predicted it myself. I also really liked when Mags started hating Falx for having Berle whipped. Her relationship with peacekeepers has always been a bit special.
Probably the best execution scene I've ever read, also how it clashed with Mags' opinion of executions before she saw one up close.
Caspian's back! handn't seen him in a while. Glynn big sister zoned him and Dylana wants his babies. Lol! Galon's grown up, Esperanza's tagging along, Mags turning guys down and people are living in the academy.
And struck by lightning.
Lol, these people need a break.
Great chapter, I'm hot for the 11th Games.
| ETNRL4L chapter 50 . 8/28/2013
I ALWAYS think you're high, dude. How else could you come up with this crap?
I KNOW you deserve a great review, baby, but I'm in so much pain and I can't take the right dosage of Percocet because I can't oversleep for work. I didn't get any recovery time.
I'm sorry. I promise I'll give you good reviews when I feel better again. You know, when my jaw is pounding and I don't have to eat like an infant? LOL!
F.L.A.S.H. is sooooo cheesy, it smells of feet. LOL!
I want Marquise and Alaric to stay together. They fit.
DO NOT hook Caspian up with Dee, man. That chick is freaking nuts!
Why did the executioner have to be a freak? That's a stereotype.*snorts*
I look forward to all of these, babe. Keep 'em coming.
| TheWomanWhoCodesAndWrites chapter 50 . 8/28/2013
Seven thousand words! What a chapter :).
The execution is vividly scary, I can imagine every scene in my head. I feel proud of Mags for taking the whip and finishing Berle's execution quickly. It's so brave yet noble.
I have to laugh a bit at poor Oliver Blackpool and his social cluelessness of Mags' disinterest. I laughed more as Caspian pointed out that there was no one else for Oliver to date; it's true that dating and finding someone to marry is the matter of life and death when you are a district teenager :). I'm not sure what to make of Caspian and Dylana, or whether Caspian like dyed redheads ;). The matter of who-is-dating-who is a nice refreshment from the heavy understory, though. I need that little fluff :).
When I started the last part about the storm, I thought someone's gonna die. Glad that both Volunteers were intact, they have to live to see the next Games (I think it's a less fruitless way to win; at least they saved two other teenagers by volunteering). And the fact that some rebels had grown up and started seeing things a little bit more clearly... that's good. It laid a clever foundation of how Four was one of the most favoured districts and a 'career' district, yet one less Capitol-oriented than One and Two and still one to join the second rebellion during the 75th Games :).
Marquise and... Alaric? Whoa, whoa, whoa there. Glad that Mags set her straight on that. Marquise was only in for a heartbreak with the upcoming rotation. I hope there'll be someone new in the picture, though - just for the sake of fun, because Marquise is fun ;).
| Vyrazhi chapter 50 . 8/28/2013
Wow. The first part of this chapter made my stomach drop into my feet, just like it does whenever I see the final revelation in an H.P. Lovecraft tale. It was revolting, yet I couldn't stop reading about the executions. As for the other two parts, they were great, yet almost anticlimactic after the opening scene. *shudders* Poor Mags, and poor Berle. How can people watch deaths like his and remain sane, especially those who haven't been desensitized via military training or the Hunger Games?
| Supernova18 chapter 50 . 8/28/2013
Mags is happy because Alaric and Marquise are only sex friends and Esperanza is on a dating spree. All those loose people... (kidding, kidding, don't throw stones at me. lol)
So did Caspian and Dylana start dating? I found Caspian's dad quite relatable and funny really.
Don't apologize, fluff is cool. Even if this says Mags going to stay single a while with her fear of dating.
"Mags wished she had looked into it much earlier, even though she knew the girl would have thrown the medicine right back at her the year before."
What's the actual rule about helping people? I thought Mags couldn't buy medicine except for close friends. Does Dylana still count?
Loved every bit, keep writing, even at night. Lol
| Flibidi chapter 50 . 8/28/2013
An update! Super! I was starting to lose hope.
Haha, FLASH, it's awful and yet so good. I can imagine Careers strutting around about being called Stormborn.
The Giant was scary and I enjoyed seeing him demystified. He gave Mags the whip immediatley, maybe he's not so fond of hurting and killing as people think. The whole execution was perfect, and how Mags' wish to spare Berle turned against her was brilliant too, so very double-edged.
The storm description was very vivid, great writing!
| Flibidi chapter 49 . 8/20/2013
Will the execution truly be so sober, despite the Capitol's love for the grandiose? It must have taken a lot of courage for Dylana to admit her mistakes. She's only eighteen and surrounded by people like Yarrow. Mags gave up on her, and from Dee's point of view, betrayed her. I liked seeing her come back, because it fits that Mags' best friend (former) would be remarkable, even if they can't be friends anymore.
I very much like these quieter chapters where Mags can think more in depth about the world she lives in.