|Reviews for Checkmate|
| melliemoo chapter 101 . 7/14/2015
This is a very satisfying almost ending to the story. I'm glad there will be a bit more. I would love to see if the 76th/Capitol Hunger Games happens or not. A bit of the future would be nice too, to show how Panem is settling out.
| paul chapter 101 . 7/10/2015
one other thing I'm kicking myself for not thinking of. If you're going to show and evolved Panem, it would be nice seeing Capitol citizens reconnecting with the Districts and/or looking back at their old actions and behavior with shame. That way there would be even less risk of history repeating itself and Mags, Finnick, Gilly and all the others would be leaving behind a legacy that truly did them justice.
| paul chapter 101 . 7/10/2015
also just noticed how you seem to imply Coin came up with the Capitol Games at least partially just to break Snow. Nice touch
Two other Quick Suggestions (they just came to me and since there's only one chapter out whenever I think of a new suggestion-you are asking for them after all-I have to post it ASAP) It might be nice to feature Mags' surviving family members in the epilogue, maybe gathered together with Annie, Glynn and certain other characters to look at a memorial, or celebrate Annie's baby's birthday or something. Also, if you don't plan on having Wolfe settle down and intend for him to be after the murderous District 13 soldiers-hopefully being smart enough to be careful about it-it might be nice for him to go over a list of people he hopes/plans to kill in his head and for it to include surviving Capitol officials, maybe including Caesar (I'm sorry if I keep stressing this point but after chapters 84, 86 and 97 I have a special hatred for Caesar that was never present before and makes me feel upset at the thought of having him survive and prosper, you have every right to do that if you want to, but it would still be nice to see him suffer and/or squirm in the last chapter).
P.S. I really hope you get more reviews over the next couple of days, and not just mine, this chapter really deserves them.
| paul chapter 101 . 7/10/2015
just re-read this chapter and a couple quick things to add. If Wolfe does wind up killing a DIstrcit 13 soldier in the final chapter, I hope you specifically say which victor/s was/were killed by his victim in order to give it a personal touch. Can accept Caesar living but hope he doesn't get off scot free. Hope beetees prediction of more Games won't be true. Am glad Lyme and Bahamut are alive and apparently at peace, I'd missed that the first time around. Hope Haymitch, Mercury, Johanna, Enobaria, Beetee and even Lyme, Bahamut and Wolfe to a certain degree can find ways to let go of their demons and reintegrate themselves with normal life (I don't include Katniss, Peeta and Annie because they're aftermaths were already mentioned in Mockingjay)
| Paul chapter 101 . 7/10/2015
Nice that this came out so fast. Liked Glynns speech to the others. Wish coin had broke snow. I'm surprised to hear that coin didn't mean for prim to die, but I guess that's a plausible theory and she was still responsible.
Wish Caesar had really died in the way faked his death and really hope he dies or suffers some severe feelings of emptiness in the next chapter. Glad lauding is confirmed to be dead, the SOB had it coming. Glad how you implied plutarch wasn't responsible for the bombings-after all, his own children were apparently there-I'd always hoped snow was lying or mistaken about that. Having coin show signs of being little better than snow was a good touch. It is stated that snows granddaughter is alive in mockingjay so I'm mad that you killed her, although in all fairness word of her death just might not have gotten out yet or she may have turned up alive later. Liked paylor's cameo. Happy to hear Glynn, wolfe and probably Lyme and bahamut are alive. Disapprove of beetees feelings about another hunger games, I wish it had just been left the way it was originally stated.
You say the two's might cause trouble in the epilogue, I hope that you have them do something like track down Caesar or one of plutarchs old coworkers and kill him, or that the trouble just turns out to be harmless mischief. It would be a shame to kill off anymore characters at this point. Pleasantly suprised to see mercury still alive, wonder how she made it out. When you said this was a different universe than showdown you weren't kidding.
Hope you show glimpses of multiple districts in the epilogue and not just four, although the last scene should be set there.
P.S. Expect fine things of chapter 102
P.P.S. I feel sad your run in almost over
P.P.S. I will try to set up an account soon
| ETNRL4L chapter 100 . 7/9/2015
What is wrong with you?!
A montage of death? Really? Eeeeeewwww!
| melliemoo chapter 100 . 7/7/2015
I liked this recap of deaths. Finnick's was sad and emotional.
| melliemoo chapter 99 . 7/7/2015
I like the Fahrenheit 451 reference. And Finnick/Annie in this chapter.
| melliemoo chapter 98 . 7/7/2015
I love both Paylor and Lyme, and how you portrayed them. I've always thought of Lyme as kind of a super mentor in Two.
| Paul chapter 100 . 7/4/2015
Nice to see you back.
This was a good chapter, although I wish you'd left at least one more outer district victor alive.
Like how you finally showed noris death, it had style and came across as strong.
Upset by Chelsea's death, she was to hard on herself and had struck me as being stronger than that. What she did was practically a insult to mags' memory, as mags wouldn't have wanted to lose another of her victors
Wish you hadn't killed moire. I once again maintain it wouldn't have been to hard to have her turn up alive but in hiding. You did giver her a good death though, well written for something so short. I also feel that she would have known about the aborted plan to rescue all of the tributes and wouldn't have felt so guilty.
Bale still was despicable and I don't mourn him, but he was almost pitiable due to having a point about being judged when there were others who had done worse.
Was hoping the capitol would just forget about Victoria and taurine, but I guess I should hav known they wouldn't. There deaths were moving and well written.
Before this chapter I didn't care much about Keith, but he proved himself to be tough, brave and heroic. His line "there would always be more of theirs than the capitol" was pure genius. Also liked Johanna's gun collection, slightly unrealistic but entertaining.
Finnick's death was very tragic. Like how you made it so coin had been trying to kill him and boggs along with katniss, I'd never considered that aspect. I hope coin sees katniss's arrow coming in the last second of her life.
Although this chapter does say it's showing victors who died off-screen, I take a little comfort in the fact that it cuts away before Chelsea does cut herself, that Keith is wounded but still alive when his scene ends, and that people have survived being 'torn apart with bullets' like Moire was. Part of me's hoping that 'died off screen" just meant as far as coin and/or cannon was concerned. I know, silly of me. Guess I'm just too sentimental.
Feel encouraged that you didn't kill off Lyme, wolfe and bahamut. Really hope they live but after the deaths of Chelsea, moire, Victoria and taurine wonder if anyone is safe.
Feel a little annoyed you didn't bother to give most of the victors from one and two onscreen deaths after this chapter. It wouldn't have been that hard to show them. You even showed nori and we already knew she was dead.
Eager to read your next chapter. Have little doubt you'll do a nice job of wrapping things up.
| Paul chapter 99 . 6/30/2015
One more quick suggestion: It would be cool to have Prim be a POV character for a little while, maybe working as a medic as the invasion of the capitol progresses and worrying about katniss.
Understand if you don't have room and/or time to use thus suggestion, or if it doesn't fit with what you have planned, or if you've already gotten past that point in your writing.
P.S. If this is set in a different universe than showdown then it might be an interesting twist to have mercury live here, although on the other hand it might not be doing mercury any favors with her current state of mind.
P.P.S. Eagerly await you next update, have a feeling it's gonna be inspiring, amazing, unforgettable, or all threee at the same time.
| Paul chapter 99 . 6/29/2015
One thing I forgot to post in the review I wrote just a minute ago. Thank you for taking my suggestions into consideration. I hope you act on most to all of them, but even if you don't I appreciate you taking the time to, and more importantly, bothering to tell me that you did.
P.S. If you don't post the review that came before this then don't bother posting this one either, otherwise it would seem kind of silly on its own.
| Paul chapter 1 . 6/29/2015
I will try to create an account but Like I said, I'm not that tech savvy and on top of that I've been really busy helping my parents build a fence-although not to busy to check for updates, thank you for telling me when the next one will be, the suspense is killing me but I'm confident it will be worth the wait. I will try to make an account though, but if/when I do, I can't guarantee you won't have already finished checkmate.
P.S. If checkmate and showdown are in different universes then I'm back to being a little upset that you killed aster and probably mercury here too. Still, it is your story and I guess it was simpler that way. Not like it came without warning.
P.P.S. You don't have to post this with the rest of the reviews if you don't want to.
P.P.P.S thank you for responding to yet mother one of my reviews, it really makes a gut feel appreciated.
| Paul chapter 99 . 6/29/2015
Just for the record, for my last review I meant to say haymitch instead of Brutus when listing mentors who went to the capitol
| Paul chapter 99 . 6/27/2015
Just remembered 2 other checkmate/showdown disrecpencies
1) zephyr being assassinated after mercury games when snow had already came into power before that-although maybe that got explained and I just missed it-
2) checkmate saying Brutus, Lyme, bahamut and Lyall were the only mentors to come to the capitol for the 75th games while showdown saying all district able to sent mentors. In addition district 7 has a mentor named pan who isn't in checkmate and apparently Pia didn't go into the 75th hunger games in showdown.
P.S. I hope this review didn't come of as annoying. It's just that when I notice a discrepancy in something I like to point it out, especially when I can't think of an explanation for it. Discrepancies or not, checkmate and showdown are both impressive works that rate among the top hunger games fanfics of all time. You have the gift to make even the most minor character seem interesting, a gift sadly lacking in many famous non-fanfiction authors. Good luck, I hope both of us will be happy with how checkmate turns out.