Reviews for Checkmate
Paul chapter 98 . 6/9
Hi Anla'shok. You may not remember me but we've both reviewed oisin55's fanfics. I hope you appreciate my review, although I am aware it might come off as amateurish. I hadn't found your home page when I started reviewing oisin55 but when I did I was intrigued. I haven't been able to get all of it in such a short time but I'd like to think I've read enough. In m first review for oisin55, I saidi would be pleased if his work was declared official cannon by suzanne collins but after reading checkmate I no longer feel that way. Oisin55 is still my favorite, but there is so much good stuff out there like yours that it would be a sin to have it declared officially non-cannon.
I loved how you showed the quarter quell tributes in chapter 90. I especially like how you portrayed gloss and cashmere and like your take on their deaths, as it would explain why they attacked katniss and her allies yet still seem to have rebel ties, hope oisin55 does something like that.i was saddened that gilly died but liked how you gave her death meaning and style. I especially liked how you had coin leave so many victors to die in the arena, as it fits my views of her and I'd wondered why she hadn't sprung anyone out earlier.I like how you had plutarch not know about that and hope you'd don't have him be involved in killing prim here. I did like the line you gave coin about how she planned to take apart the capitol and outlaw even mentioning it though, kind of hope that happened under paylor's regime.
Liked how you handled the end of FLASH. Thought you gave good reasons for Rapid and Whittle trying to kill katniss and peeta. thought your deaths of seeder and Brutus were very well handled. Really like this version of Cesar, hope he survives the war. I also hope that you show snow and Colin's deaths from their own perspectives and have them experience fear and/or pain before dying.
Loved what you did for the training sessions, it was pure, unmitigated genius, especially chaff and johanna. Wish you would have shown blight and the man from ten-a really cool character-died.m

onO. Phoenix
ETNRL4L chapter 98 . 6/7
I want my kiss to be open mouth...
...with tongue.

You have such a convoluted way of explaining how all the victors died.

Yay. I get to see how Lyme dies. Cue sarcasm.

I know this is short, but I was enjoying the reading and didn't have much to comment. It's been two years. I'm getting repetitive.

Iacopo chapter 98 . 6/6
Each of those characters deserves their own story. It was interesting to see how Gilly still "acts" like she has to be funny and cheerful for cameras while Paylor is more like normal military and finds Gilly over the top. I liked to see how Lyme is torn between her ideals and the loyalty she has to other victors. It's also fascinating to get some behind the scenes of the rebellion.

They're both great characters.

I want what you said: Thirteen and the Capitol. And I'd like to know if the rebellion really fixed things in the end.
Lollipop chapter 98 . 6/5
I want to know how all the victors died, lol.
Gilly's death was pretty awesome, how she got the peacekeepers fed up and thinking "we're so done here, let's leave for good".
The underlying theme seems to be how commanders deal with people they care about. Paylor has put the cause above all else but Lyme has not.
Loved the chapter!
Vyrazhi chapter 98 . 6/4
"Katniss had had no questions, just purpose..." Wow. I couldn't have described Miss Everdeen in the actual trilogy better if I'd written it myself. Sure, Katniss does ask some questions because she's not a total idiot. However, she is a pawn of the rebels.

"Quipus" - If I recall correctly, a quipu is an Incan or Mayan abacus. Am I right?

I want to see what Caesar Flickerman thinks about all of this. He's meant to be the comic relief in the movies and the book, the goofball. However, you add so much more to your characters than their cinematic dimensions show. As for events, I'm sure you'll probably delve into Peeta's torture. There's almost nothing I enjoy more than a scene of a man being broken, a la 1984.

As for me? I'm working on an original novel that I haven't posted, except to my writers' group on Facebook.

P.S. Go, Enobaria, go, but you knew that already.
ETNRL4L chapter 97 . 5/22
I hate these 10K word chapters, man.

I love how you wrote Enobaria. So unapologetic. AMAZING!

The double meanings behind all Caesar's headlines. Chortling.

Tee-hee! You named the brothers like in my fics. I''m honored.

Based on this little interlude between Caesar and Peeta, I'm going to guess you haven't seen the deleted scene from the movie where Snow explicitly tells Peeta he has to do the propos for the Capitol.

The bread memory was actually untainted, dear. They didn't have any footage of that to distort the memory. Remember, they screwed his memories with tracker jacker venom and edited films of their time in the first games and after.

Medicine grew back a tongue? LOL! Okay.

Peeta's warning to Thirten was more dramatic in the book.

Annie's run seems a little far-fetched.

What happened to the undertaker?

The interview timing was several days off in canon.

melliemoo chapter 97 . 5/18
I loved how you wrote this chapter in the different perspectives, and torturing Peeta was brilliantly done.
Lollipop chapter 97 . 5/17
Enobaria: she's always interesting because her loyalties aren't cut and dry. Unfortunately, I see her playing it safe and obeying it until she gets home.
Caesar helps us learn what's up. lol. I hope he gets his comeuppance.
Peeta. Ugh Peeta. How he kept so focused on Katniss to get information despite the state he was in. It's horrible to think they'd tortured him so badly despite the fact he'd done all they asked.
Annie. She's so cute! LoL. The line about Snow letting her be wherever she was (provided she wasn't giving information on rebels, but it sounded like she wasn't) because it was less trouble than bringing her in to torture was pretty neat.
Jo. My dear Johanna. The last line cracked me up. I love her.
Iacopo chapter 97 . 5/16
Beautiful. I felt many things reading this chapter and I am very happy that none of these victors let the Capitol make them helpless.
Vyrazhi chapter 97 . 5/16
A few minor mistakes: "She and Aster" are gone, and Enobaria dropped a crystal "glass". Other than that, fantastic work. I liked the Caesar Flickerman part as well. I've rediscovered that some people follow canon just as religiously as religious books, and if you mess with it, you get crucified. I haven't run into any of those kinds of critics here on FF, but then again, I've been lucky.
Supernova18 chapter 97 . 5/16
I absolutely loved this chapter.
The relationship between Annie and Finnick is left a bit of a mystery in the books. The movie acknowledged it with Johanna when she told Katniss "love is weird". You have a very unique Annie. She'd cute and optimistic (I liked being reminded how she collects pretty things), but she's still a Career and not always overwhelmed by her PTSD. I loved her part. It caught me totally by surprise.
Peeta had it the worst, but I love how strong they all were. The end almost brought tears to my eyes.
ETNRL4L chapter 96 . 5/7
"taking a bunch of liberties"? I'm chortling to myself.

I'm going to miss the undertaker.

So, we're saving Effie? Farewell book canon. I loved thee well.

I like the little back story on Pollux.

Ooohhhh! The confrontation between Finnick and Enobaria!

And now a '24 rolls' reference? Really? This is a warped amalgam of canon, movie canon, and Anla'shok couture 'let me just make some crap up'. LOL!

There's "no time to make sense of information riddled with holes", all right. I'm just accepting the kidnap and shuttle craft thing with a grain of salt.

Crabs? You read 'clicking sounds' and you think crabs?

Shoved him into the crabs. This is how Peeta killed Brutus in your head canon. *rubs at bridge of nose*

I don't think the bombing of Twelve was an afterthought. I think Twelve was gone before the Quell started. The book says the bombing started minutes after the arena blew.

The first bomb fell in the square, my love.

melliemoo chapter 96 . 4/28
I really liked how you were showing what Snow was thinking and doing.
Supernova18 chapter 96 . 4/26
I'll be crossing my fingers for those AU epilogues then.

I'm sure the chapter from Enobaria's POV would be one big WTF. It sucks that 13 had to leave her behind and I really hope it's because they had to. And Snow went from being paranoid to being REALLY paranoid. He looks like he's that close to shooting everybody.
Iacopo chapter 96 . 4/25
Twelve has just been bombed and Coin is dreaming about being President. Of course she does...
I found the idea of using the Hovercrafts to 'take 12 hostage' and get Katniss to surrender awesome, Snow really should have done that.
Great chapter, I feel for poor Finnick who's trying to keep everyone alive while everyone else is freaking out.
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