|Reviews for Timelords and Terror|
| m.tarnina chapter 5 . 5/25
Awww... Margaret? And everybody lives! But don't use the exclamation mark notation, it looks a bit silly.
Why does everypony immediately jump to that conclusion? Because you're a looker, Doctor, that's why.
Great, great idea with the book! Time machine. Can't beat it.
Bottom line: the story is dynamic and fun, pulls the reader in like a magnet. Could use a little polishing of style, though. It's got loads of humour, not all of it so great, but it does show promise. The line tool is your friend! Write on. Geronimo!
| m.tarnina chapter 4 . 5/25
Pinkie is enviably unperturbed, not enviously (she's not the one envious). The Carrionites don't really cross Godzilla treshold, do they? The Doctor's just saying this to motivate Twilight, right?
You explain a bit too much (about Fluttershy and her Stare, in this case) - I know it's probably foreshadowing, but still. Show, don't tell.
Leaves, not "leafs". Ooh, Pinkie's fun! And fourty two, really?
"Exposure" threw me off balance - this isn't the right word. Mr. Stardust? The entire Rarity' segment is hilarious. Especially her reaction to the TARDIS (expected it to be cleaner, eh?).
Concussion is internal damage.
Very Doctorish monologue on justice versus revenge. Do the girls even need the Doctor around? They're doing quite all right by themselves. Also, didn't he lock these Carrionites up in a crystal ball? Ugh. Now the villains stop being cartoonish and go full-Doctor Who-baddie. Huge point to you again. Although - language, Twilight?
And the companion becomes the Doctor. Circle of life. Ah.
| m.tarnina chapter 3 . 5/25
Purple again. Jars don't catalyse - chemicals react. Describe the effects of the reaction (colours changing, bubbling, smoke, explosions - explosions are good) instead of just saying things reacted.
Your Pinkie voice is nice, very insightful in a madcap way, but multiple "had"'s are needlessly confusing. Point about the baddies being comedic still stands - just how childish did you want them to be? And should Twilight have these kinds of books, tsk :) "Eyes of a god" are a good example of the purple that really should go. Applejack's summary of recent events is also unneeded.
Bigger on the inside, yes! On that note, aren't his legs getting tangled in this coat?
Love the Ancient One fragment. It. Is. Good. And the magic-making (but how is muddy water "pregnant"? Words have meanings, remember) technobabble as it is. Fun and doctor-y, this entire chapter.
| m.tarnina chapter 2 . 5/25
Oh, these two characters who get eaten/possesed/otherwise mangled by aliens in an episode of Doctor Who! Yay. Also, the Doctor plus hospital rarely ends that well - so points for you, although "genetic mutation" is not magic (except maybe in Equestria?) and wouldn't necessarily make a heart beat wrong. I'd also say that horses don't throw up, but... Equestria, the Doctor. Why am I even mentioning this?
The actual problem here is characterisation - both the Doctor and Twilight seem a bit callous. Silly little planet? He's also behaving quite randomly, but this is to be expected after regeneration. Again, the narration gets purple, specifically Twilight's thoughts - don't make them so implicit. Also, "the" is not a first name and shouldn't be capitalised.
| m.tarnina chapter 1 . 5/25
First things first - this is purpler than Twilight Sparkle. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you are overdoing it a little with the thesaurus. The dramatis personae list is a bit distracting, as well, especially if you put it in every chapter.
He was "struggling between trying to steer [...] watery eyes and fits of coughing". Rewatch "The Runaway Bride". He was struggling to steer through fits of coughing, maybe. Also - he wasn't heavy, but he was dense? So was he heavy, or wasn't he? I know you mean he was heavier than he looked, but this sentence still needs untangling.
The baddies dialogue is a bit... comedy routine. It undermines the good description you gave of them. Just saying their plans out loud for anyone who might be listening sometimes works, but never in the first chapter.
| pikachucat chapter 5 . 4/21/2015
| Silver-Freddy chapter 1 . 12/29/2014
CARRIONITES FROM THE SHAKESPEARE CODE OMG OMG!
| Analyn Rockwand chapter 5 . 5/8/2014
AWESOME! I can't stop smiling!
| Shodaime Gahokage chapter 3 . 4/9/2014
I am making a [ watch?vB09odRpQRCM]voice of the S'muz[/url] recording for Any who want to do a reading of this
and I have only ten more lines to do
| Guest chapter 5 . 1/28/2014
Fun, exciting little story. Couple of times, it felt like you forgot about Rarity (ahem, end credits?), but she's best pony and requires no introduction :-)
| CactusNoir chapter 5 . 8/17/2013
:D That was the best ending! Yaaaaaay!
I love how you put the actual credit bits in them, and that everything is happy and adventures.
I can't believe I found this by accidentally clicking something on TV tropes, but this is why I love that website.
To the next adventure!
| CactusNoir chapter 4 . 8/17/2013
Wow. That was a pretty dramatic chapter. I liked it.
| CactusNoir chapter 2 . 8/17/2013
This is awesome!
| VenixOfDarkness chapter 5 . 7/14/2013
Very good story. I'm looking forward to reading the second episode.
| Guest chapter 5 . 2/10/2013
Nice work, can't wait for the sequel, and... Oh yeah! Allons-y!