Reviews for A New Rival: N!
Aardvark123 chapter 1 . 7/5/2014
You really captured the spirit of the animé here, as well as of the characters. You're certainly one to watch, as writers go.
yourmybff chapter 1 . 6/7/2014
Love it! Can Hilda be in too and also able to talk to pokemon like N? Can she travel with ash with a little ferriswheelshipping and her starter is oshawott? I LOVE IT HURRY AND MAKE THE NEXT CHAPTERS!
Uniquely chapter 1 . 3/18/2014
Love it! It needs more reviews!
kim chapter 1 . 1/23/2014
Amazing ficlet
DragonFire Princess chapter 1 . 5/4/2013
wow nice started of the story.
SerenaTheHedgehog chapter 1 . 4/19/2013
Great one-shot! I am also working on a Pokemon fanfic if you wouldn't mind checking? *Innocent smile*
NoNameForMeh chapter 1 . 4/19/2013
"That's called discrimination, Iris"

Oh my glob, you just made me love N even more :D
Guest chapter 1 . 1/6/2013
This certainly sounds more comical than serious, if that what you were shooting for. Or maybe anime style.

Moreover, Ash does sound a bit more brain damaged than I remember him to be even in BW.
Knight of the Iron Hammer Vita chapter 1 . 1/5/2013
wish this happened in the anime cause the current one suck since no team plasma involvement
thefierydeath chapter 1 . 1/2/2013
Cool! But I don't think my partner would agree...
Farla chapter 1 . 1/1/2013
You wouldn't capitalize animal or mouse or dragon, so you shouldn't capitalize words like pokemon or pikachu or charizard. The only time you should capitalize it is if you're using it as the pokemon's name, ie, Ash's pikachu is called Pikachu. This is because you only capitalize when it's a proper noun, which are the names of places or things. Similar reasoning should be applied to any other words you're thinking of capitalizing, like telephone or trainer. Or professor.

Eh, you should really do more than just copy what the game did. There's no real point in seeing what Ash thinks of hearing about how people should let pokemon go because he tried leaving Pikachu once already, and what you've done here, having him offer it again like he forgot about all that, makes him look like a brain-damaged idiot. Try for something resembling nuance here.

Dialogue is written as "Hello," she said or "Hello!" she said, never "Hello." She said or "Hello." she said or "Hello," She said or "Hello" she said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." She grinned, never "Hello," she grinned or "Hello," She grinned or "Hello." she grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," she said. "This is it." not "Hi," she said, "this is it." or "Hi," she said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," she said, "is it." And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.
E chapter 1 . 1/1/2013
Very well done, Short but there is an unseen intesity here. Why, stop at a one shot this is good enough to become a great story. Moreso, the anime will never fully explore the facets a charater like N and the larger effect he could have in the world. In the end it will be brief cameos or a vauge intertariton of what occours in the game.