|Reviews for Fading Fast|
| Otaku4eva99 chapter 10 . 3/8
Interesting chapter, I read this chapter really quickly, it was more like scanning, cause that's how I read, and due to that this chapter was vague, but that's completely my fault.
The first thing that caught me was how you described a few things:
"The steaming daylight nibbled on her soft cheeks like a relentless, urging kitten." I really like how you describe many things, I wish I had as much creativity as you! my description could be a lot better.
Anyway, kyosaya in next chapter! Happy!
| Romanji chapter 10 . 3/7
Gahhh! You need to teach me how to write cuz Your writing is so frjaskvuwqocjfnejeiiij good and poetic!
| StormFarron185 chapter 10 . 3/7
A bit of a slow chapter, but nice introspective anyway. Your very descrptive writing remains something that I am extremely jealous .
What I don't think works...umm, I won't beat dead horse here so I won't say it. It should fairly clear anyway from my past reviews on your other fanfiction, but I'll keep reading regardless.
I'm looking forward to the more Mami focused parts of the next chapter.
| Foxtrot0220 chapter 10 . 3/7
I'm going to go ahead and predict that the second character in the first scene is Coxley (from chapter 6 or 7, I think?). You put a lot of effort into describing him before, so I felt that he was going to play some bigger part in this story. And then when you wrote that he was a "police officer", the connection snapped in my mind. I still don't know who the first person is or "K. R." from the quote in the middle.
Just playing a bit of detective here. Your story has a lot of mystery, so it's a bit overwhelming without thinking things through.
Positives: I liked Homura's introspection greatly. She's struggling to come to terms with Madoka, and that distance upon her sudden return is very believable. The same thing seems to be happening between Kyouko and Sayaka. A lot of drama, definitely. I wonder how it will get resolved. Also, your writing (especially describing the scenery and outdoors) is very good. It really puts the reader in the moment as you describe every detail.
Constructive Criticism: Nothing really. Perhaps a bit too wordy at times?
| Foxtrot0220 chapter 9 . 2/26
This chapter was particularly interesting for Nanami's/Kasumi's/Kaito's backstory. If I read it correctly, they were like their own family before Kasumi had to leave and Kaito joined DAWN? If so, I'm also intrigued how Kaito was a latecomer to DAWN. I had assumed DAWN was always comprised of that trio, but supposedly Fade and Shiro began that organization and Kaito later joined as a mercenary-fighter-like addition. And now he's effectively been replaced because neither Fade nor Shiro can trust him any longer...
...that's just my ramblings, though. DAWN is definitely the main source of mystery and interest in your story, so it's nice to see these little snippets of information about them. Looks like Fade and Shiro have been planning something out for awhile, and are entering the final stages of their diabolical plan. You've done a good job at distinctly characterizing each member of DAWN, and also adding in these extra pieces to "up the ante" of the prominent theme of urgency (like the Chairman and the Council).
I also like how deep of a character you've made Nanami. On the one hand, she's your typical "I want to become stronger to protect people" kind of girl with the tragic backstory. For instance, she speaks out against the Commission, even though she's clearly scared. However, even though she thinks she's mature and independent, her actions speak otherwise. Nanami's willingness to join DAWN just because they provide her with the opportunity to break out of her current lifestyle and actively do something seems very naive. She's become a very interesting character to analyze.
I've noticed over the course of your story that you have a slight tendency to rush your endings. Granted, you're a great writer, but maybe it's a feeling of impatience to power through your writing once you're almost at the end that plagues you... But overall, this 'DAWN Arc' of yours was very interesting to read, though I also think it's high-time to bring the focus back to the individuals in Mitakihara City.
| Otaku4eva99 chapter 9 . 2/23
Saw the update in my inbox. Looked and I'm like "holy shit nearly 12,000 words!" If you'd posted the full 40,000 word chapter it would have taken me a while to read it.
This chapters interesting, I say that often don't I?(haha). But seriously, learning about the conflict between the council and the mahou shoujo. I know how annoying it is to be looked down on by adults when you're just as mature as them, I feel you Nanami.
But I'm a bit confused with the whole 'Nanami becomes a member of DAWN part'. Well I'm not confused, more like troubled. She was knocked out, and then she found herself with Fade and Shiro, she didn't question who knocked her out, and wasn't angry about it. Fade told Nanami that she was taking Kaito's place, and explained to her that they're the same. Then she accepted it, just like that. Not only did the scene go extremely quickly, but Nanami didn't have a huge motivation behind it, she doesn't truly know what the hell these DAWN guys are, even if she knows their motive. I'm sure she would be smart enough to think about it, or refuse even if Fade plainly stated 'you are a part of DAWN now'. She didn't have any suspicion, she didn't think about it, or have a second glance over the situation, which leads me to think she's going to regret it later.
Other than that, this arc of Nanami was very well planned out, most scenes weren't rushed, and the OC's have very well-rounded personalities.
"Are you content with this ending?" Sounds familiar, not sure if it's been said before in this fanfic, shoutout to 'Midsummer Melody' perhaps? If it has been said by Fade before I'm stupid to not notice it, I haven't read the parts behind the Nanami arc for a while, as you hadnt updated for a bit before that
Can't wait for the next chapter, loving every bit of this fanfic
| Ice-cream-and-cake-cake chapter 5 . 2/22
AND TO THINK THAT FADE DIDN'T HAVE SOME SORT OF COMPASSION. Wait is Meduka and Sehyuka really there?
| Ice-cream-and-cake-cake chapter 3 . 2/22
Wait..what the hell? Well isn't this a lovely plot twist?
| Jsywjnshss chapter 8 . 1/28
Hella rad onee chan
Thanks for the update
| Foxtrot0220 chapter 8 . 1/24
*pats you on the head* there's your reward. I'm not going to call you "Onee-chan", though, so you'll have to find someone else for that.
I definitely like the in-depth characterization and plot building that's going on. Nanami is a great character, and her insistence to be independent and make her own decisions nicely contrasts with her innocent longing for her family and the warmth of others. She's more of a child than she admits, and that side of her is nice to see.
I also like Fade's characterization. He's not the typical villain, if he even is one. His ambitions would seem reasonable, if only he didn't try to hide them and lie all the time. I'm still sketchy as to if I can trust him though. I'm fact, after this chapter, I think the only member of DAWN I can trust is Kaito, what with his relationship to Kasumi. Kasumi seems like another strong character, but there's not really enough yet to make a decision.
I also agree with the post below. I had interpreted the ending of the anime as the witches never existed. But you do mention that Fade and Nanami somehow used their magic to retain their memories (and some other girl's power is also involved?), so I suppose you answer that?
Great, well-written chapter! I'm anxious to see how this side of your story develops and eventually plays in to the plight of the Mitakihara bunch. Looking forward to more!
| Foxtrot0220 chapter 7 . 1/24
This is getting interesting.
The introduction of this new organization definitely adds some more mystery and intrigue to the story. The chapter was short, but left me with a lot of questions and a desire to know more. Nanami seems like she'd be a strong protagonist apart from the magical girls in Mitakihara, and I'm liking her strong-willed character. Well-written chapter, and I look forward to learning more!
| Otaku4eva99 chapter 8 . 1/24
Don't worry Nanami, I love Oreos too :)
I love how you put so much depth into Nanami's character. I can understand her, yet her actions are hard to read. She can act like a child, but stern at the same time, I like how she isn't exactly like Homura, cold and acting emotionless (cause she isn't).
I starting to like Fade more as well, he's not a typical villain, well, he's not a villain at all really, but I am suspicious of his methods and how they will turn out.
This concept of the War between the magical girls and The Commision is interesting, especially since Nanami is hiding the fact that she is a magical girl.
I would also like to mention that something seems a little off. When I read the first chapter I was a little confused. Maybe you didn't understand the ending or you made it this way deliberately, but when Madoka erased the witches, and the world was rewritten. That means that a new world was made, and witches never existed. The concept in your story with the "same world there used to be witches but they disappeared for some reason" has me extremely confused. But it overall fixes with the tone of the story, it's unique and different
Overall, I can't wait to see more!
| StormFarron185 chapter 7 . 1/22
Oh my god I'm so happy to see to see an update this :)
Chapter 7 was 40,000 words? Damn...if only I could make my chapters even half that length. *is very jealous*
Anyway, I like these characters you're making and I want to know more, so I hope the next update comes soon!
| Otaku4eva99 chapter 7 . 1/21
Yes you updated!
Nanami sounds really cool, that's all I can say
You are just an amazing writer, you should really be an author when you're older :)
| sora chapter 7 . 1/21
ahh, sor exciting! Please update soon!