|Reviews for They Appeared Out Of Nowhere|
| Doodling Shadows chapter 4 . 3/22/2013
[Colors, lights, shadows, swirled around and around ]
'Colors, lights, and shadows swirled around and around'
[Meadowsplash yawned again and sighed, reached out a paw to begin making another herb-wrap. ]
'Meadowsplash yawned again and sighed, reaching out a paw to begin another herbwrap.'
Yay, I didn't find as many mistakes here, but that doesn't mean they aren't there- the little boogers! :D Great job! Now I'm really curious as to how this plays out!
| Doodling Shadows chapter 3 . 3/22/2013
[Fifteen minutes and alot of growling and cursing and Darkstar's 'moral support' later,]
Minutes are not used in Warriors, so maybe something like this?:
"For what seemed like moons passed with much growling and cursing, and plenty of Darkstar's 'moral support' later,"
[They would hav been swamped]
["'Cuz I think I might have something]
Chatspeak holds no place in a story. Please replace it with a respected 'because' or ' 'cause'. :)
[ leaving them here?" He questioned] [to sleep now?" He requested meekly]
'He' does not need to be capitalized.
[in a nonreal place.]
'unreal' not 'nonreal'
I am quite enjoying this story so far, Sagethorn. Keep it up! *thumbs up*
| Doodling Shadows chapter 2 . 3/22/2013
[She turned sharply to face the clan.]
Capital C in 'clan'.
["Cat got your tongue?"]
Nice reference on cats, but they are cats themselves, so maybe exchange it with either fox or badger maybe?
[ In a coma?"]
I don't think cats know about comas or at least they don't know what to call them.
Here is an overview of your Author note; please look.
[I started wiring this story with a very vague idea of the plot, (so if anyone has any suggestions for things that can happen, please review or message me.)]
Interactive things are in parenthesis. Remove it or it can be reported: hold it elsewhere, please. I really don't want you to have this fanfic deleted(it is awesome!) or the chance of your own account being closed. Thank you!
_-*DOODLE of LawlClan*-_
| Doodling Shadows chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
I loved it! Just a few errors here and there.
["How are our they doing?"]
It's 'are' not 'our'
[ usual scents of the bog "Twolegs!"]
Shouldn't there be a period at the end of bog?
["Twolegs!" He hissed under his breath."
The he does not need to be capitalized.
[Who knew it it would poison him or explode in his face,]
You have two 'it's. Turn the first one into an 'is'.
[Definatly not natural.]
[I should go back and get Darkstar. He thought. But the sound of a soft snort from inside the box made his ears prick.]
'I should go back and get Darkstar, he thought, but the sound of a soft snort from inside the box made his ears prick.'
Overall, I really like the idea and wonder how it will play out. :D
| Ashleigh chapter 4 . 3/4/2013
Ooooooo! The kittens are awake :D
| Ashleigh chapter 3 . 3/4/2013
One of the white cats should be brave enough to stand up to Darkstar and call her 'Dark' just to see how she likes it :3
| Ashleigh chapter 2 . 3/4/2013
Funny, especially how Meadowsplash leaps back in fright, LOL _
Not so good:
I've never heard the word coma in warriors, you used summer instead of green-leaf, and ma'am, what cat calls their leader ma'am?
| Ashleigh chapter 1 . 3/4/2013
Awesome beginning, I like how you used "God" Instead of StarClan, lol. :) love it 3
| Oliver's Cupcakes chapter 5 . 2/11/2013
Nuuu, what's in the box! Update! Update now, human! :P not that I'm not human... *whistles innocently*
| Hiems Caelum chapter 5 . 2/6/2013
Hi again, I loved this chapter! It was ace! I like the description you put into your chapters I jump right to the point which is why I'm quite impatient hahaha, but, I do love this idea! I really like the way that you left it on that important note "Look in the box." That was really good :) I look forward to reading the next chapter :3
| Elmie chapter 5 . 2/2/2013
Hello! Sorry to hear about your sucky week :'( and sorry I didn't review last chapter, I've been pretty busy.
I really love where this story is going! As for someone thinking it is moving too slow, I completely disagree with them. Please don't try to rush the story, I hate reading fan fictions that are rushed. One chapter they're kits and the next they're warriors... :-/ Although I wouldn't complain if the chapters were longer. I think you could have put everything you've written into two chapters and they would both be a good length. That would be much more work on your part though, so don't feel any pressure to write ten thousand word chapters or something :)
Anyways, keep writing! Looking forward to your next update
| Hiems Caelum chapter 4 . 2/1/2013
Hi, another good chapter.
I have a slight problem with the pace of the story because after four chapters, the kittens are only just out of the box… just something to work on.
Anyway, positive side now, I love how you started this chapter with description it was a really clever twist. Keep writing :)
| Oliver's Cupcakes chapter 4 . 1/16/2013
Nuuuuuu, keep writing it! Puh-leeeaaaaassee!? *cheesy adorble face*
| Oliver's Cupcakes chapter 2 . 1/16/2013
Nice! But cat's don't know of this.. 'summer.' Do you mean greenleaf? Lol.
| Sadie chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
Are you done writing the next chapter? :P Because I want to read it REALLY badly! :)