Reviews for Distant Affection
AC. Boo-Yah chapter 1 . 4/21/2013
I can relate to this story... I had a friend in the school, he was only one who talked to me and was there for me... I had crush on him and did anything for him, but he changed and now he thinks that he is the most important person on world... Lets just say that I now think of him as 'dunderhead' and pompus a*s... But for year it was 'an affection from afar', so I know how it hurts... Poor Hermione... :(
Exceeds Expectations chapter 1 . 2/27/2013
As a huge Romione shipper, that little argument did hurt to read D: But I actually quite like this. For a Sevmione, it's very in character - a schoolgirl crush. Who hasn't been there, eh? And I like that his standing up to Umbridge is what sparked her interest. That she would be attracted to bravery and defiance is very true of Hermione's character. Good job!
our dancing days chapter 1 . 2/25/2013
I was quite surprised that they didn't get together at the end, but it's actually more realistic, honest and less-forced to leave it open, a little girl's daydream. I really enjoyed it, and there weren't any SPaG mistakes that I could see. Well done! :)
AmzyD chapter 1 . 2/25/2013
I think you've got Hermione's character done perfectlly ere, she is definitley in character and her musings over Snape are certainly interesting. Im not fond of the pairing but I do like how you set this out, nice job!
autumn midnights chapter 1 . 2/23/2013
I really like that Hermione's crush on Severus started soon after he was rude to Umbridge - I absolutely adore that scene in the movies, so it was cool to see mention of it here. I can kind of picture Hermione thinking that an older man would be a better match for her; I don't ship these two, but I can definitely imagine her preferring older men. I do like how this was unrequited on Hermione's part, considering the teacher-student divide that would certainly get in the way at this point. You don't need to capitalize 'Sir' unless it's at the start of a sentence, and there should be a comma between "Merlin" and "Hermione" as well as "Yes" and "Ronald". I don't love the nickname Mione, either, that's kind of one of my pet peeves in fanfic, but it didn't really distract from the story. Nice work!
lowi chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
Again, this is a pairing I really don't ship, but you've still written it very well! I think you captured that (to borrow your words) "affection from afar" theme perfectly, it's definitely easy to understand Hermione here.

Good job!
xPerfectlyImperfect chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
I absolutely love stories where the one character loves another but the feelings haven't been made known, it's just at that dream-like state. This was very creative and I really enjoyed it. I liked the interaction between Ron and Hermione... I always felt like Ron had feelings for Hermione but I never really saw any point where Hermione really liked Ron until Lavender and that just seemed a bit out of the blue, if you know what I'm saying... I didn't see any spelling and grammar mistakes and I enjoy your writing, it flows well and it is very enjoyable to read, great job.
starlight.moon.princess chapter 1 . 2/21/2013
Admission time - I love this pairing!
I think you've written Hermione's crush very well. A girl of her intellect would undoubtedly know that there was barely any chance her feelings would be requited, and I think you've shown that very well.

However, Snape seems a bit OOC to me. ["I admit I also was not watching where I was going." He bent over and helped her get her books. He handed them to her.] Personally, I think he's more likely to berate her, especially since you're sticking to canon as far as possible.
Unless, of course, that's hint of him feeling affection for her ;)

Overall, I think it's very well written :)
AnneNevilleReviews chapter 1 . 2/20/2013
You get right into Hermione's character with your details about the wanting to add a little something extra, even though she's already detailed everything about moonstone. She's right—it IS so like her! It's an interesting twist that part of her motivation is to catch the attention of her professor. I've known students like that (both when I was a student and when I was teaching college level!).

Ron's interruption is well-timed, and Hermione's reaction to his intrusion and insight into his reason for visiting are right on. However, I did notice this:

[Mentally, she was screaming in frustration. She really didn't want to have this conversation with him, you know I'm busy with schoolwork all the time."] I think you're missing a quotation mark and perhaps part of a sentence here?

[Sure his hair was greasy, but it was bound to be when you were slaving over potions all day long.] I love this! You've found the perfect way for Hermione to justify one of Snape's less attractive features. As she would! The way you then turn to his “obsidian” eyes is a nice continuation of the gemstone theme that you used at the beginning of the one-shot.

Your observation about Hermione not being suited to a boy her age is apt. After all, the first person who recognized her value was Krum!

I enjoyed this story—especially since it explores the realm of student-teacher crushes. Thank you for the good read.
Montley chapter 1 . 2/20/2013
This story flowed nicely, and even though I'm not a fan of the pairing at all, you did a very good job with it.
I do think that when Hermione and Ron were talking, there were both a tad OOC. Hermione would have been nicer about it, and Ron wouldn't get all angry and pushy.
In this line: {Mentally, she was screaming in frustration. She really didn't want to have this conversation with him, you know I'm busy with schoolwork all the time."}
You had an extra quotes, so it confused me a bit.
But that was the only thing I saw.
Great job!
Lillia-Lillia chapter 1 . 2/18/2013
Love the schoolgirl crush on her older professor. It was a very sweet and well-written fic, and I can totally see Hermione falling for Snape. You characterized them both very well. I also felt bad for Ron. Poor guy.
Ralinde chapter 1 . 2/14/2013
Not my most favourite pairing, but I understand her liking him for intellectual reasons mostly. I like that you made it only an affection from her part and not a relationship. Crushes happen and they would be something like this, I think. There were some typos in there, like you use "Example, example." She said, whereas it ought to be "Example, example," she said. (so with comma and a regular letter, not with a stop and a capital). And aren't Sugar Quills only meant to be eaten but don't actually write?
But other than that, it was good.
HedwigBlack chapter 1 . 2/8/2013
Poor Ron. I actually felt bad for him here and I think you had him very in character. I think you wrote their friendship/bickering nicely.
I also think you wrote Hermione's infatuation with Snape very well too. It wasn't overly sappy and she was trying to think about it logically in true Hermione fashion. And I think you pointed out all the great things about this pairing - their intelligence, Snape's good character, Hermione's attraction to him despite the age difference. Nicely done :)
Fire The Canon chapter 1 . 2/7/2013
Again, I think you kept them both failry in character, which for this pairing, I don't see all that often.

I also didn't see all that many spelling and grammar mistakes either and it flowed rather nicely.

The only thing I must say (because I have to have my in put) that I don't think Hermione would be that blunt to Ron about not liking him. She'd probably go about it in a different... nicer way. Albeit, she was frustrated with him at the time, but I still think she'd be slightly nicer about it.

Or maybe that's just me defending my OTP (and that just rhymed).

Nice writing!
Helen Roston chapter 1 . 1/20/2013
Great story, just wishing that it was not a one shot because it would be great if it continue. Maybe even Severus having the same affection and eventually getting together. I could only dream.
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