|Reviews for Star Fox: The Dead Planet|
| BlackDeath2000 chapter 18 . 5/21
First of all who wouldn't read them? they're great stories. i see nothing but untapped potential when i read your stories. if you were to publish the shorts you would be a great writer. Just take your time on deciding if you want to publish them. on another note the chapter was great as always. your right it was a little off but it didn't affect the story by any means in my opinion.
keep going and never give up.
| FoxMcCloud7921 chapter 18 . 5/20
Finally you have returned! I was looking forward to RC, but hey this is fun to read too, might as well get me hyped up for E3 and seeing the new Star Fox game.
Anyway, I haven't read anything out of your Star Fox stories but hell, I'd read them why not?
| cheesebread222 chapter 18 . 5/19
Another good chapter. I did notice a few grammar mistakes, or places you used the wrong word, but nothing too bad.
The time jump was a bit sudden, but I think it's OK. That's one advantage literature has over other forms of medium, in that time can be manipulated like that. It's a little difficult to pull a time jump like that off in a movie. But I digress.
As for your original works, that's... a bit of a tricky proposition honestly. Without knowing the subject matter, it's hard to say ether way if I would be interested. On the other hand, I know they're being written by you, an author who's work I usually enjoy, so I would likely enjoy that collection too. Of course the biggest road block for me is that I don't have a lot of 'digital cash' as it were. But I'm sure I could find ways around that. Ultimately, I say if you published an e-book, my purchasing of it would be a definite 'maybe'.
And as far as talent goes, in that department I'm sure you're fine.
Anyway, great chapter, and here's hoping it doesn't take another few months for another chapter (though if it does we understand), because I can't wait for more.
| Dianager Rambaldi chapter 18 . 5/19
Oh, the whole drama -or like the japanese people says: DORAMA! XD
Heheh, well I read your chapter this morning, and can I say? Really is it Fox's fault to let Krystal as a complete heartless assasain? -Ah well, nobody can't say if its his fault, I would to do the same thing if someone try to push me away or let by myself to push away.
Mmm... star wolf... I guess what kind of plan was Wolf and his gang would do... MOAH SASUPENSSU! D: -again, japanese speaking xD-
Alright, I don't care time keeps me to wait next upload, I really wanna to see -or read- more of your story :3
Cheers my friend :3
PD: I hate heat. Too much sun in da morning days and cold nights
| bryan mccloud chapter 18 . 5/19
whats with the 2nd half of the story with all the words in bold...lol?
| K.S. Reynard chapter 18 . 5/19
So, this takes us back to the present, it seems. Now the flashback can finally end and the story can resume itself again (unless I'm wrong?). Peppy and Krystal both have a point - Fox probably is the one who changed the most since Krystal joined the team. Now, I wonder how Fox will be forced to react to when Krystal is yanked away from him again. That's something I'm interested in seeing.
As for your question, I'll try to give the most straightforward answer possible: I think an e-book wouldn't be a bad idea at all. Your plotlines are very good, which really is the most important part of the story. However - like Order and Chaos said, you're definitely going to want to get an editor if you go that route. I don't know if it was just me, but this chapter seemed rushed and a bit choppier than usual. Maybe I just read it too quickly, but scenes seemed to fly in and out a bit more rapidly than they should have. OAC also beat me to pointing out that the second half of the chapter was in boldface. Ummm...you might want to fix that.
| Demo ODST chapter 18 . 5/19
would definitely read something you got published. anyway, very interesting chapter, and its got me wondering what Wolf is going to do to the Star Fox team
| OAC - QI chapter 18 . 5/19
I'll be back for a fuller review on the chapter itself, but I'll get three things out of the way.
One, it's awesome that you've updated once again, and I'll be reactivating my interest in Star Fox for a bit to enjoy this story again.
Two, I think I would read that e-book. ;) Just make sure you have an editor to spot you; all authors who're published have editors.
Three, and most serious, the last third of the chapter suddenly switched over into BOLD formatting. Make sure you fix it.
Now, when I come back, it'll be for a review of the chapter itself. Peace out, sir. :)
-Order and Chaos - Qui Iudicant
| Tellemicus Sundance chapter 14 . 5/7
I don't usually read Star Fox stories, but this one is absolutely compelling. I'm very eager to see what comes next and that this story keeps going for a good long time. Great work!
| KaijuKnight chapter 17 . 2/27
YES! The Bond still exists! MORE DRAMA!
Excitement for the revelations aside, this was, as usual, really well built and written. The intro for Sarah O'Donnell was perfect and their marriage plans were even more so. If it's going to happen to someone like Wolf, that's how it's going to happen. The two red eye bit is right up the Sargasso gang's lane. I approve.
I will admit that the mission I imagined Star Fox involved in when Krystal pissed Fox off was an Arwing mission, but I imagine that's just the games filling my head. This explains it a lot better, though. Now all we have to do is wait for the climactic argument that Krystal is thinking about in Ch 1. And then to the meat of the story! YES!
I am very pleased by the multi directional take you are pursuing in this arc. You show a lot from Krystal as you did in arc 1, but then you shift to show the struggle from the other side. Fox's comment about the bar actually makes sense. In places like bars and coffee shops, you can get lost in your drink and yourself without worrying about someone getting into your business... unless your an aggressive drunk (LOL). I'm glad you are showing Fox's perspective. It gives a reason for us to be concerned about him as well as Krystal.
The flashbacks in this arc are actually pulled off better than the first. You were good then, but you are so much better now. Very well done.
I still have a soft spot for the Krystal/Fox coupling and to see that they haven't actually lost their relationship, just misplaced it, fills me with loads of happys! Now... If only they could survive till arc 3...
I guess I'll see you in another six months (like I have room to talk! You be the pot. I'm the kettle!).
| cheesebread222 chapter 17 . 2/20
Hey, glad to see your back. also, I can confirm having two monitors is pretty nice. And here's hoping the new Star Fox game is amazing.
I would say your writing skills are still quite polished. Still as great as you normally are. One thing I do have to ask though, did you plan that bit with the wolfs vs wolves thing, or was that you catching a mistake you made earlier and commenting on it. If it's the former...interesting choice. And if it's the latter, then it was funny. We all make mistakes, so it's good to have a sense of humor about it.
Anyway, enough rambling from me for now. Great chapter, and I can't wait for more.
| Dianager Rambaldi chapter 17 . 2/17
Wow... what a fatal ending... I new she gonna be bad again! And that's one of the many thing I don't like Krystal. That's ok. No offense, the mood she murdered that guard it creep me out, and I think "Wow, she's become assasain again" xD
No offence man, I like your story, even you haven't time enough.
"Wait, while I was busy tryin' to get information you were racing off?" - hahaha I laughed that part in dead! hahahha It kills me out! Yeah Falco, let Katt all the job and have a hell yourself fun xDDD.
All the creepy parts you give, I give my 'thumbs up' on you the done.
| K.S. Reynard chapter 17 . 2/17
What's this? An...update? I thought such things were mere fiction at this point in time. I thought you'd given up on this story entirely after the extended absence. In fact, the last update was so long ago that I'm trying to remember if it's actually been a full year since it was updated. Yikes. Let's hope it isn't that way in the future. I get it, though. I took so long to update Iridium that I realized I would never finish; and thus, I deleted it. Don't worry, though. Part of the plan was that the better elements of it would get recycled into the Oasis sequel.
I don't have a whole lot to mention about the chapter itself, but I did think it was funny that the Iron Wolfs intentionally spell their gang name incorrectly. If they're so dumb, why is Mrs. O'Donnell working with them, though? I guess it's something we'll have to wait for - and hopefully not another year!
The one part of the chapter that really stood out to me was the part where Krystal killed the fleeing guard and then shot up the unconscious ones. I honestly sympathize a lot more with her than I do with Fox on that. They are a freaking merc unit, for crying out loud. She does make a good point in saying that it isn't all that different from shooting down other fighters since the outcome of the pilots is the same. The scene also shows that her habits as Kursed haven't left her, either. I get the feeling that's what your motivation for putting that scene in was.
As for writer's block, I'll say what I know about it. I personally don't struggle with writer's block as much as I struggle with what is called a gumption trap. That's what happens when you know what you want to write and don't have the motivation to do it. This is a huge problem for me. Like you, writing comes in a distant third compared to the two major occupations in my life. I don't know if you could apply any of this to what you write, but it seems that the majority of what I've been writing lately has been what I've been able to punch out on my lunch breaks at work. It sounds far from ideal, but it's in an environment where I am not going to be distracted. Also, since I only have 30-45 minutes to write, I get 30 minutes of my best, fastest writing, since marathon writing drains me and kills my focus.
In summary, I think the best thing to do to avoid those crippling blocks is to not attack it all at once. Just write a little bit every once in a while, and eventually you'll have something. If you write only 200 words per day, you'll have 1,400 a week, and factoring in 4.3 weeks per month you'll have just over 6,000 in a month's time. That's a chapter right there! Just for reference, this review adds up to 540 words. 200 is hardly anything.
Oh - and unless someone else wrote a one-liner review while I was typing out this behemoth, this is review 200! Congratulations on that.
| Demo ODST chapter 17 . 2/17
nope, touch still there. took me a bit to think back to the earlier chapters, but thats just cause i've been focused on my own writing. honestly, i really want to know more about this sarah o'donnel chick, and who the hell mr white, for lack of a real name, is (if it's been stated before, i forgot it, sorry) still great and i really can not wait for more!or the new Star Fox game for that matter!
| FoxMcCloud7921 chapter 17 . 2/17
First off, I apologize for not reviewing for awhile, although I have been keeping up with the story so I guess it's no big deal. You still got it kid, if you wanted to know.
Also, I finally started working on my last installment of the Cerinia Trilogy (yeah I called it that), Revival, and although I haven't been able to update it much, I hope you get to read it sometime. Anyway, keep up the good work and just like you, I'm looking forward to Fall 2015 for that new game.