|Reviews for New Year's Eve|
| Karen chapter 1 . 1/14/2013
Thats a very cute story. Let's keep our fingers crossed for Hank. The character is great, Ray does an incredibly good job, and they have so much more chemistry than Mark/Sarah.
| luvtheheaven chapter 1 . 1/11/2013
I'm not a big fan of the style where all dialogue is in italics - ESPECIALLY not when you have quotation marks too! :P I think it should be one or the other, and generally it's best if Italics are left for thoughts or a single emphasized word here or there and Quotation marks for the dialogue like here. :D
You have other dialogue issues too, like you need to have a comma - not nothing and not a period - before an ending quotation mark and then the words "Sarah said." or whoever said. :P Your formatting just is slightly off, and it is a bit distracting. Flawless grammar doesn't only matter for grades in school, it matters for readers to not get distracted. Things flow more flawlessly when all of the writing conventions are followed. :P
"Hank was sitting as his desk" also is like a typo - you meant "at" and stuff. Some places where you put a comma but should've either put a period and started a new sentence or combined the sentence fragments with a conjunction word like "and" or a semicolon.
"As she was giving herself a last look over in the mirror when she heard " - it clearly should either have the word "As" at the beginning or the word "when" later in the sentence but not both; just a minor thing... but it does disrupt the flow of reading.
Those don't cover all of your errors like "than" when you meant "then" or "the" when you meant "they" or "should would" when you meant "she would" and stuff but I'll stop now. :P
I feel like most writers could use a beta, just to catch the little things like that. I'm not flawless myself either, and having a beta help me always feels worth it in the end.
If you want me to be your beta for your future Parenthood writing let me know and I'll help you out. ;)
Oh and by the way, I just emailed the support section of this website suggesting they add Hank as a character. Actually I suggested quite a few Parenthood characters that aren't listed here as options like Victor and Ryan. I hope they add them as options soon. So you should be able to edit your Hank/Sarah fics to be listed under his name soon! :D I hope you appreciate that lol. And take advantage of it for any other Hank-fan fanfiction readers. :D
I adore Hank as a character, and appreciate that Sarah cares about him and Hank fell hard for her but I ship Mark/Sarah hardcore. Don't hate me lol. :P I think Hank/Sarah could be perfect if the show started in season 4 and Sarah was engaged to boring buy Mark. But because the show didn't start in season 4, I can't help but feel attached to perfect-guy Mark and think he's right for Sarah and hope Hank eventually finds happiness with someone else. :P I don't mind the idea of Sarah exploring her relationship with Hank for now although I wish she'd waited a bit longer after her break-up with Mark to jump into bed with Hank, but I understand that the show only was going to have 15 episodes this season so they needed to compress some storylines like this love triangle into a limited number of episodes.
Anyway, I am glad that there are people like you writing Parenthood fanfics, even if they aren't about my favorite ship. :D I've actually never read any Parenthood fics about a ship before... this is a first for me. :D But I've read a couple of non-ship more family centric ones like Drew/Amber... There are far too few Parenthood fanfics on here!
I just posted my first ever Parenthood fanfic, and you might hate it because it's got a lot of Mark in it - Mark/Drew based on the newest episode. It's not about Mark/Sarah, although there is a little of Drew in a way sort of "shipping" Mark/Sarah, and Mark missing Sarah, in the first chapter (which is all I've written so far). I still have no reviews on it and I would love it if you could maybe check it out and let me know what you think. ;) My beta had to point out at least 1 error and often more every paragraph by the way so again, I'm not perfect either, but at least before I posted it to the site I had it beta-ed! :P
About this oneshot fic of yours...
Aw that is so like Hank, to be all like "well I work here so I'm here a lot" and Sarah to be like "Really? I had no idea" - the banter is so cute and just like them. You write them so well and in-character and I love it.
"He wasn't one for celebrating New Years. He was lucky if he could even stay up late enough to ring in the New Year. " - aw, poor Hank! That so sounds like him though.
I love how you twisted up what the show did with Sarah asking Hank to ask her out and just made it happen sooner. ;)
So we're not going to go to University jail?"
Lol I love this. You've got a great knack for writing humor. Also Hank kidding with Sarah as if what she was wearing was unacceptable. :P
"I know the head of the photography department. He needed a guest lecturer awhile back and he called me, I was reluctant to do it at the time, but it seems to have paid off."
I love how you had their shared interest in art and photography be a bonding date experience for them and it makes me want to ship Hank/Sarah more than I did before reading this. ;) Sarah's an artist and Hank is sort of too. It's kinda nice. I also love that line you wrote there - Hank would HATE being a guest lecturer but I'm sure would love it if it paid off in this way for him. ;) I also loved him offering to dance and saying "I don't do this often so I would take me up on this offer if I were you". So cute and perfect!
Lovely fluff piece.
You're a GREAT writer and I really enjoyed this. When I find some time I'll totally be reading your other Hank/Sarah fic. ;)
| catgrl chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
Awww that was a very good short story.. I hope Hank is too...